• Mother-in-law creating problems

Hi Sir/mam im a working person and married ( 29th. Nov.2011) our marriage was arranged one and we both liked each other after meeting. But soon after we came back from our honeymoon from Goa my MIL started having problems with my husband and she used to say k shadi k baad tu badal gaya hai and started blackmailing him. In Jan 2012 he went to London from his office as he works for international taxation she told every one that I dont give her gajar ka halwa and many more things and had it alone. This year only she went to Aurangabad with my sister in law and whdn she returned had fight again on food. In 2013 I was ill and not able to eat or take care of my self then she denied to do any thing for me and told my mother to come and take care of me . And I went to mymausi's place we stoped talking but she made me so frustrated that I tried to end up my life and had phenyl when my husband tried to take me to the hospital she tried to stop him and told esko sulade theek hojaegi kal subah tak but he took me to the hospital before that she made him beat me badly. Den after all this her daughter cakr and fought  with me when my husband took myside both said so many wrong thing to him and she went with her daughter and spent her 4 minths their as her daughter was alone there. She came and started the same fighting again and this time locked my room from outside when my husband came in to meet me. 
These days again she is blackmailing him by cooking her food and telling him that I dont give her food. Kindly tell me is there any way I can stop her doing all this.  Im MBA in hospital operations and working as Quality manager in a good hospital. Me snd my husband never fight on any thing but she wants us to fight so told me that before me he was about to get married but she broke up with the girl and again some days before during fighting she said he had another girl in his life means she wants me to do somthing what can affect our relation .
Asked 4 years ago in Family Law from New Delhi, Delhi
Religion: Hindu
1) it is better you convince your husband to stay separate after marriage . constant fights in the house can take a toll on your physical and mental health . 

2) since you are an MBA in hospital operations you must be earning a decent salary . stay in a rented  flat near your hospital . 

3) if your husband loves you he will come and stay with you . 

4) dont file any 498A / Dv case against your MIL / SIL 

5) if your husband does not support your decision move out file for divorce and start life afresh
Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
46601 Answers
2756 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1. It is necessary to take  your  husband in confidence and confide in him the dirty tactics of your mother in law.
2. You can involve any of your mutual friend or acquaintance in it.
3. Legal intervention will be of no help  unless you want to end the marriage.
Devajyoti Barman
Advocate, Kolkata
13100 Answers
174 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

It is better for you to go and stay with your husband or stay somewhere else but not with her.you can convince your husband and change your place of stay or will lead to more problems. So be very careful when you deal with her.dont take any legal steps as it will create problems in your marital life.so don't react back but be cool and deal things. Try to console her and say good things of her and hold her making her think you love her and do things I think she will change slowly.that is the only way.be very patient
Jeshma Mohandas KP
Advocate, Kozhikode
567 Answers
1 Consultation

4.5 on 5.0

Since you are an educated lady, you surely can handle the situation. Your husband loves you and therefore there is no ground to seek divorce. Your sister-in-law shall get married and things may improve then. Talk your problems to your husband and convince him to live separately even for a short period. Don't think of giving your life away. Absolutely no legal action is required at this  stage.
H. S. Thukral
Advocate, New Delhi
569 Answers
170 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Hi, it is better you to convince your husband so it better you have to maintain good relationship and solve the matter amicably with the help of the elders.
Pradeep Bharathipura
Advocate, Bangalore
4561 Answers
204 Consultations

4.5 on 5.0

First of all you need to realize that it is a universal phenomena that you will always find yourself pitted against your MIL and SIL and need to tackle the situation with delicacy.

Secondly though your MIL is doing all these to cause drift between you and your husband, your recounting the same to your husband may not be easily digested as he would always have a soft corner for his mother.Therefore you need to maintain patience in getting him convinced of your MIL's intentions.

Thirdly it is always advisable to stay at a  separate residence.As you are employed you could cite work requirement as the reason to stay away and convince your husband to play along.At the same time keep your composure in the face of provocations and be cautious to ensure that your husband does not become a victim of misunderstanding and led away.
S J Mathew
Advocate, Mumbai
2263 Answers
110 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1.You should feel lucky enough that in the given circumstances there is still a positive sign in your life,that you are loved by your husband inspite of evil tactics adopted by your MIL towards you.
2.From time immemorial a few Mothers-In-Law have developed this type of attitude of harassing Daughters-in-law under the false impression that the DIL has taken over the control of their son from them.  They forget that the son before marriage was doing his duty towards his parents & siblings only and now after marriage he is doing his duty towards his wife in addition to the duties he was doing earlier towards his family. Such Mothers-In-law forget that each such duty is clearly demarcated in the sense he should be a good son to his parents, good brother to his siblings and good husband to his wife.  MIL thinks all these years she was looking after her son from an infant to the present stage and suddenly a stranger in the name of DIL has taken control over her son's life.
3. Start praising your MIL for very small things and win over her thereby she might develop soft corner towards you in future.
4. Better to move to a separate residence with your husband, preferably nearer to your work place and convince your MIL & husband citing the need to work.
5. Time is the best healer and as the day passes such things fade away and in the long run when you look back at your life, you will wonder  how you overcame such hurdles.  So be patient.
6. Do not, at this stage, think of divorce and lead a happy married life with your husband.
Shashidhar S. Sastry
Advocate, Bangalore
1647 Answers
109 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

The best thing in all this is that your relations with your husband are not strained.  Rather they seem to be still good.

Take him in confidence and convince him that both of you should stay separate from your mother in law.

In such a situation there not much that a lawyer or a court can do.  All will depend upon your ability to handle the situations as they occur often.  Read some books on family and relationships and learn to handle such situations.  Most important thing is acceptance.  Know that Lord had brought such a person in your life to enable you to grow.  Take it as an opportunity to make yourself / build yourself.  Some day you might thank her.  

Wish you all the best.
Nahush Khubalkar
Advocate, Nagpur
61 Answers
14 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

not to worry so much,you can handle this very easily
Rajeev Bari
Advocate, New Delhi
1506 Answers
92 Consultations

4.6 on 5.0

dear client, convince your husband& try to live seprately with your husband thing will automatically improve. legal action at this may harm your relations with your husband
Avdhesh Chaudhary
Advocate, Greater Noida
565 Answers
20 Consultations

4.6 on 5.0

The best way to stop your MIL from all her blackmailing etc.would be to move out alongwith husband from her and stay in some other premises,if your husband agrees to it. otherwise,after talking  and taking your husband in confidence  you can file case in MM court as  it's clear case of domestic violence against your mother -in -law. You can seek protection orders and other related reliefs from court.
S.P. Srivastava
Advocate, New Delhi
703 Answers
13 Consultations

4.7 on 5.0

Try to convince your husband and take a separate accommodation.If your husband is not willing to do that,  move out of the present home and stay near your work place, tell him this is to avoid problems and   make him feel that you two are very much a family together. He can join you as per his convenience. 
     If things go worse and your husband is taking a stand against you,   file criminal complaint under  498A as you shall not be able to file domestic violence complaint against your mother in law and sister in law. it cannot be filed against an woman 
Or else if things do not work between you and your husband due to his family ,go ahead and file a divorce on cruelty ground, get him to court there you decide for a settlement .
Since you have mentioned you are going well with your husband , it is his family who creates problems , so tackle it wisely and get your man in your side before initiating any legal steps.
Thresiamma G. Mathew
Advocate, Mumbai
1515 Answers
138 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Tell your husband everything in detail. Don't make him take sides. Instead insist on staying separately. If your husband loves you, he will accept your decision to stay separate and avoid constant fights. Do not fight with him. Do not file cases against him or in laws. Take him to marriage counsellors.  They will help him to understand the situation and find solution.  He has responsibility to bring peace between you and his mother. Assist him in such efforts.
Sandeep Hegde
Advocate, Bangalore
403 Answers
117 Consultations

4.8 on 5.0

1. Your problem is creted by your inlaws as per you though I refuse to accept that your husband beats you being instigated by his mother,

2. However, if your husband is in your side, leaver thyat house and take up a rented house immediately,

3. If you find that your husband is not willing to protect you or joins your in laws,

4. Decide for terminating the elationship and collect all evidence of cruelty against you,

5. After that file a 498A case against your husband and inlaws,

6. File a divorce case with prayer for alimony,

7. Start life afresh.
Krishna Kishore Ganguly
Advocate, Kolkata
18730 Answers
452 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

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