• Mother-in-law issues

Dear All,

i am married since 2011. I have a 2 year Kid. Mine is a Love marriage. After so many struggles i married my husband, however that was all in vain. I started facing issues form my MIL and Sister in law from the beginning of my marriage. I communicated all that with my husband thinking he will be supportive. At the end when the issues became uncontrollable my husband acted onesided and started asking for proofs for all thing happening around (its all a well planned game from my MIL for which I couldnt show him proofs),Since I didnt have any issues with my Huband, I managed to be patient and controlled myself as far as possible. 

Now its that we have Kid, my MIL is creating problems between me and my husband using my Kid, . At one point of time we had an argument and my husband who came at the middle, didnt even ask as to what happened and he said his mother has the first rights  and I dont have any rights including on my kid... Which really collapsed me and I took my kid and left home because of her

Since I am working, Now i am staying in a separate house in the same city for last four months.. I initiated so many talks with my husband, I can understand he regrets for whatever he has done, however he is been insticated so much , what  he says is he is not ready to have two different house... he wants his Mom and wife under one roof, even if the life is not peaceful.

I asked him to stay with his mom, but to take care of us, after all he is a father. But in Last four months he has not even inquired abt his Kid...

I am very much stressed. I will have to be a slave to my MIL if I go back. I personally didnt have any issues with my husband and our marriage was also not easy, we faced so many battles to get married... Is there any way I can save my marriage?? Experts pls advise
Asked 3 years ago in Family Law from Chennai, Tamil Nadu
Religion: Hindu
Dear Querist
try to settle the matter amicably with the help of friends and relatives, if not possible then you may file a complaint under domestic violence act,2005 and claim protection, right to residence, monetry relief as maintenance and compensation.

the court may pass the order ex-party too, as per section 23 of D.V. Act.
Nadeem Qureshi
Advocate, New Delhi
4880 Answers
226 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

1) Your husband ought to have taken a stand to save the marriage, especially since it is a love marriage and the fact that you had to go through difficulties to get married.

2) Your husband is liable to maintain you and the child.As you are employed you may not be able to seek maintenance for yourself.You can approach the court to get maintenance for the kid.

3) If you wish to save your marriage , your options are either to go back to the matrimonial home and fight for your rights staying there and winning your husband over to your side or file a case under domestic violence Act of 2005

4) Under Domestic Violence Complaint you can seek shared or separate accommodation, protection and maintenance.Your case will have your husband and the in laws as respondent. They will receive summons from the court to appear before the court.

5) You need to act promptly by engaging a lawyer.See if the lawyer can initiate a talk with your husband and in laws to find an amicable settlement. If that does not  yield any positive result you will need to initiate divorce proceedings either with or without the consent of your husband.
S J Mathew
Advocate, Mumbai
2264 Answers
110 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

file a case before court and pray for counselling, the court have power to raffer the matter to counselling and the counselor is there for the settlement of the dispute between the parties and always tried to save the marriages.
Nadeem Qureshi
Advocate, New Delhi
4880 Answers
226 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

Hi, you both of them go for a family counselling so that you can save your marriage and if you go for a legally i do not think you get a relief your is the case in which you wanted your husband and it is my advise go for a family counselling so that you can save your marriage.
Pradeep Bharathipura
Advocate, Bangalore
4561 Answers
204 Consultations

4.5 on 5.0

1) it is commendable that inspite of so much provocation from your mother in law you are doing your best to save your marriage .

2)if your husband is not willing to stay separate with you and leave his mother you can explore the possibility of having separate kitchen in same house . 

3) filing DV case or 498A case will further aggravate the situation . 

4) you can  suggest to your husband that both visit a family counsellor . 

5)if husband refuses then file for divorce . seek maintenance for your child and also custody . since you are working you wont get any maintenance
Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
46856 Answers
2772 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1. This is the same story with most of the matrimonial disputes. Rest assured that your MIL & SIL also has complaints against you in similar degrees,

2. The husband is torn between the battle between the wife and mother,

3. Just yesterday I got a case where the wife has given ultimatum to her husband stating "choose between your mother and wife",

4. If you find that there is no problem with your husband and the problem is for getting adjusted with your MIL only, then there is nothing which can be done legally,

5. Law can force your husband to pay maintenance for your child but can not force him to stay with you leaving his mother,

6. You can als file DV case against your in laws but it will completely ruin your relationship with your husband,

7. For the shake of your child, try to get the disputes with your in laws settled amicably.
Krishna Kishore Ganguly
Advocate, Kolkata
18806 Answers
454 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Well i suggest both of you to visit a marriage counsellor. If your mother in law is trying to create issues between you and your husband, then you don't want to divorce your husband, then you need to settle things inside the matrimonial house itself for the sake of welfare of your child. A child from a broken family is always affected.  If you can then ignore the instigation from your mil and sil purely for your child.
Shaveta Sanghi
Advocate, Panchkula
887 Answers
64 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1. Marriages can be saved only outside the court. When a marital dispute reaches the corridors of a court it culminates either in the termination of marriage through the process of law, or the differences multiply and render the marriage dead for all practical reasons. So think twice before going to court if you wish to save your marriage.

2. Your husband has to support you if the marriage is to sustain. 

3. Legally speaking, you can pursue many remedies under the framework of law, such as the right to seek maintenance for yourself and your child, right to reside in your matrimonial house, etc. Last but not least, you may apply for divorce if all your efforts to normalise your marriage turn out to be futile.

4. Attempt to persuade your husband to visit a marriage counsellor. Your marriage has not yet reached a point of no return.
Ashish Davessar
Advocate, Jaipur
23173 Answers
641 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Its social dilemma rather than a pure legal issue.If you love your husband why can't you love his mother and why can't the mother love her daughter in law the same way she loves her son.Family courts are not supposed to stand for dissolution of all marriages in India.

Thanking you,
Subash M R
Advocate, Bangalore
176 Answers
8 Consultations

4.4 on 5.0

You should avoidto file any case under domestic violence act because it is inadequate and some cases it increases enmity. You should consult some relatives of your husband who are in your favour and has weight but be careful because excessive involvement maycause problem. You should live with your child and don't initiate any case for atleast one year. Your child can attract your husband's affection and  gradually he calm down and understand the real issue.
Shivendra Pratap Singh
Advocate, Lucknow
5066 Answers
78 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

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