Marital discomfort - seeking advice
I'm 34 years old, married for 8 years living with my mother, wife and son in my parents home. My father expired 4 years ago. My problem is my wife has a very bad temper and when she gets angry she screams loud, breaks home stuff, bangs doors and raises hell all around. I've raised this issue with my in-laws but they say manage it yourselves. I've tried to talk it out with my wife but she always has a reason to blame her temper on my mother. Of late, she has started blaming things on me as well and seeks divorce from me. It's starting to hamper my mother's health adversely and I'm really clueless what to do? What is the legal course of action if I decide to divorce her. Please advise.
Asked 2 years ago in Family Law from New Delhi, Delhi
1) stay separate with your wife in rented flat
2) on your father demise intestate you have 50 per cent share in said flat
3) if you file for divorce unilaterally your wife will file Domestic violence case against you and seek right to stay in her matrimonial home
4) also seek stay restraining you from selling your share in flat
5) if possible file for divorce by mutual consent
6) it will take 6 months time
1) you should contact a local lawyer
2) in the consent terms seek joint custody of the child
3) you have not mentioned whether your wife is working or not
4) if she is not working you will have to to pay maintenance fo her and your son too
1. If both of you decide to terminate the marital relationship, then it will be best for both of you to go for mutual consent divorce which will be decided with in 6 & 1/2 months from the date of its filing,
2. If she does not agree for MCD, then collect all the evidence of her cruel activities in the from of video/audio recording and file a divorce case on the ground of cruelty.
Thank you Sir for prompt reply. Yes, we both are working and that is the reason we've not started living separately from my mother till now, since my mother looks after our son while we're away. I'm not sure if my wife really wants divorce OR she is just trying to harass me and my mother mentally to force us into submission. I'm really fed up with frequent fights and can not take it any more. Please suggest what legal options I have.
Asked 2 years ago
Hi, if both of you are so serious for divorce then file a petition for divorce on the ground of mutual consent so that it is easy way to get the divorce.
1) if your wife is it agreeable file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty
2) the divorce petition can be converted into petition for divorce my mutual consent later
3) contested divorce cases take around 5 years to be disposed of
1) Bad temper of your wife alone can not be a reason to seek divorce from your wife. However if her bad temper is leading to incidents of cruelty against you or your mother you can file for divorce on grounds of cruelty.
2) As she is seeking divorce too, you can file for divorce jointly under provisions of Mutual Consent Divorce. The petition can be moved jointly by you and your wife and engage the same advocate.
3) You may together meet a marriage counselor and explore possibility of saving the marriage if it is only the bad temper of your wife that causes strife between the two of you.
1. The only legal recourse for you, if you wish to end your marriage,is to file for divorce on the basis of your wife's cruelty.
2. She will be given an opportunity to contest your case on merits.
3. It is also possible that she may hit back by filing false cases of dowry violence, assault and criminal intimidation against you, which you would be given an opportunity by the court to defend.
Dont rush up with the bad decision to divorce her. This is nothing but trivial issue. You can make arrangements to adjust a life with her by staying separately from your mother and during absence at work let the child be under the care of your mother. Dont allow the ego to havoc in your life. As far as possible try to save the sacred institution of your marriage at least for the sake of your son's future. There is nothing impossible if a sincere and best try given. Take her to a marriage counselor or a counselling session elsewhere to advise her as well as you to handle the day to day indifferences between you which can be made alright. The bad temper or short temper are all short lived if the problem is diagnosed.
If at all you have decided to divorce her, then you have no other go than to file a divorce case on the grounds of cruelty alone.
It is not very easy to take a decision for divorce if you are wisely think about the life after the divorce. It is natural to be sad and to be sad when your marriage ends. The negative effects of divorce on children have been greatly exaggerated.Your child suffers the lost relationship and lost security.The best thing is to meet a psychiatrist or physiologist. A good counseling can cure the defect.May be your wife's hormone imbalance made this much of problems on her.
After the above effort If you think divorce is good in your life, if so try for mutual divorce .other wise file a divorce petition under the ground cruelty
1. Talk to your wife face to face and inform her that things are crossing limits and both of you should mend your ways in your own interest and in the interest of your son,
2. Keep in mind that divorce is the 2nd most stressful event in one's life for which it should be avoided at all costs,
3. If she refuses to see reasons, then offer MCD to her proposing to part ways,
4. If she does not want divorce and you become reluctant to continue, then collect evidence of her cruel activities by audio/video recording her abuses, then file divorce suit on the ground of cruelty.
How ever, the query above reflects above the normal wear and tear of marriage and can/ should be talked about and amicably settled between both of you. If settlement is not a possibility you can talk about mutual divorce with your wife which she has already threatened you for. You should initiate the discussion with your wife and ask her on her thoughts of separation . It seems she would fall back and your issues will settle down, as she only threatens you by talking divorce. In case mutual divorce is also ruled out, you can also file for divorce under cruelty on you and your aged mother simultaneously get a criminal complaint filed by your mother against your wife for mental and physical cruelty in your absence(this would support you as a ground in your petition.