1. Why some STRONGLY feel that I need to find her to get a divorce and others suggest an Ex Parte divorce is very well possible, if she doesn't respond. I do not have any problems with her other than the fact that it is she who does not want to be together anymore. But she simply doesn't respond to my calls or emails. I prefer not to wait for her to cooperate
If she is not responsive to your efforts or not traceable (went into hiding intentionally), you may better choose the option of substitute service of summons by publishing the same in the local popular newspaper of single or both the languages. First you get an exparte divorce, let she become aware of the ex parte dissolution of the marriage,decide about setting aside of the same and contest the divorce case accordingly.
2. If the court grants the divorce in Visakapatnam, can she at a later stage dispute the divorce either in Andhra or any any other city or state in India or in US. I do not foresee my wife doing that as it is she who does not want to be together. But I just want to be informed for the worst case.
If the Vishakpatnam court grants divorce, she can prefer an appeal before the Andhra Pradesh high court only and not in any other place or city. If it is an exparte divorce, she has to file in the same court for setting it aside. She cannot contest this case in US or any other place.
2. Is this ex parte divorce a common practice, if the other party does not respond to notices. How long does it take for this entire process? And how successful is this kind of approach
There is no question of common practice, it is procedure on such situation for relief sought.
3. Do I need to be there in India to start the process? I just came back from India in Feb. Is there a way to start the process with a POA signed here in front of a notary. I can come towards the end of this year
If you have not already started the process of divorce case in India and are proposing to dissolve your marriage by a decree of divorce through court, you may have to be present in India at least at the time of filing the case and can continue the same with a POA agent after that.