• I don't want to divorce my husband

Ours is a second marriage happend on Aug 2018. On the first night of marriage itself I understood that he had some erection problem but he said it was due to his excitement and will be fine in following days. After marriage I went to his house and stayed for about 10 days. All these days we never had any penetrative sex for which he said the same reason. As I was working in my home town I had to return and agreed to meet him on weekends. 
Even on our weekend meetings we never had any penetrative sex. Upon which I told let's meet a doctor. We met a urologist and he gave medicine for erection and premature ejaculation. But he never consumed that. Again upon my request we met another 2 doctors and same medication was given which he never consumed. He was adamant in taking treatment. 
As it was our second marriage and I was getting aged I wanted to convince as soon as possible. I decided to leave my job and started living with him in anticipation that I would conceive soon. Whenever I say this he will take me to a gynaecologist but he never attempted a penetrative sex instead he penetrated me using his fingers which I found very shameful. 
When I insisted on taking medication he informed his parents and complaint that I was forcing him to take medicine. They said their son is perfectly alright and I am no one to force him neither to have sex nor a baby. Issues went very bad between us as he started ignoring me completely. He left the house early and came late and avoided me completely. Upon the taunt and torture of my mother in law and avoidance from husband I tried to harm myself. On the same day they informed my old parents and asked to take me back to home. They said they don't want me in that house. They said I should agree for a mutual divorce only after that they will release my parents who were detained in the house. When I asked my gold also they said the same. I was heart broken and left the house over night thinking If I leave they will release my parents. But they didn't. They instead filed a missing complaint against me and told my parents to give mutual divorce. 
It's been 6 months now, neither of my in-laws or husband called me or tried for a compromise. They blocked all our calls and social networking sites. 

Now I have filed 498a and DV against them. But I don't need divorce. This was the only option left to bring them to us. They are eagerly waiting to make my husband marry thrice. 
1. Can he get divorce without my consent? 
2. Can I ask court to make him agree for a treatment? 
3. In our community no third marriage is considered, can I ask court to give me right to live with him? 
4. My only wish is to become a mother, can I ask through court to donate his semen for pregnancy? 
Please reply. 
I still love him and I always stood by his side to over come his problems.. What can I do to convince them??
Asked 3 months ago in Family Law from Bangalore, Karnataka
Religion: Hindu

1)husband has to prove allegations made in divorce petition 


2) you can file petition for RCR under section 9 of HMA 


3) you can have child through IVF wherein husband donates his semen 


4) you cannot force husband to give his semen 

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
66916 Answers
4041 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Firstly, filing 498a and DV was a wrong step on your part.

1.No he cannot.

2. Yes.

3. Yes.


There are ways to bring their ego down but full history of day to day life is needed.Many lawyers will try to make fun and make you file number of cases for their benefit and not yours. It needs to be properly planned.

Aveek Bose
Advocate, Kolkata
950 Answers
4 Consultations

4.7 on 5.0

Dear Madam,

- He can not take divorce without your consent until and unless he plays to prove you ex parte.

- If you wish to stay with him, file RCR and safe stay rights to stay with him. Court will make sure you stay safely and police will be informed to take care of your well being.

- You can mention these points at court and take permission for his sermon to get pregnant.

- You must file a request to send both of you for counselling session under supervision of court.

- All the best




Vivek Arya

Vivek Arya
Advocate, Gurgaon
505 Answers
3 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1. he can file a divorce but getting a divorce without your consent is hard and the case will take 4-6 years till disposal, and for the final verdict (The Supreme Court of India) it may take 10-15 years,

2. No

3. you can file RCR but the Court cannot restrict anyone to live with someone against his/her wish


4. you can make this offer (semen donation) during a family meeting and you both may live separate for some time, maybe, time heals the wounds and you both be together again,

try to settle the matter amicably with your husband involving elders/relatives/friends etc and start afresh,

I know you must have tried



Suneel Moudgil
Advocate, Panipat
1141 Answers
1 Consultation

4.3 on 5.0

1. TO get divorce consent of of another spouse is not mandatory as long as the petitioner proves the allegations of cruelty in the divorce suit . I this case your husband apparently lacks the grounds of cutlery to get divorce against you.

2. Court can pass direction but can not force him.

3. You can get decree of RCR but again it can not be enforced in letter and spirit.

4. Yes but he can not be forced.

Considering the facts you supplied I do not think he could ever make sex with you in natural ways. Better part your ways. 

Devajyoti Barman
Advocate, Kolkata
17808 Answers
252 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Dear Madam,

My answers are as follows:

  1. Can he get divorce without my consent?

Ans: No. In your case it appears there is no valid ground for him to place before the Court and get divorce. On the other hand you can put a case for Restitution of Conjugal Rights and make him available to you by an order of Court.

2. Can I ask court to make him agree for a treatment?

Ans: Definitely, always courts works towards such positive steps. Even in mediations the mediators may advise him to go for treatment or at least for marriage counseling first there after for treatment. He may be shy to take treatment. Such things happen.

3. In our community no third marriage is considered, can I ask court to give me right to live with him?

Ans: Yes, such order will be gracefully given in your favor.

4.My only wish is to become a mother, can I ask through court to donate his semen for pregnancy?

Ans: It is very appropriate and it is only the alternative for you. If such prayer put before the court and allowed, it will be boon for every married woman who has no children due to adamancy of husbands.

5.I still love him and I always stood by his side to over come his problems.. What can I do to convince them??

Ans: Marriage counseling followed by treatment may change his attitude towards family life.

Kishan Dutt Kalaskar
Advocate, Bengaluru
4433 Answers
112 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1. See if he files contested divorce on ground of cruelty it will take long time ans you can contest same, since there is no cruelty from your side he won't be able to prove same.

2.you and court cannot force him.for same.

3. Court cannot force him to take you even it does not grant divorce.

4. See this is not possible you should talk to your husband try to convience him and help him may be he is depressed and demotivated due to his problem. You both can meet counsellor and can seek help.

Shubham Jhajharia
Advocate, Ahmedabad
19309 Answers
75 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1. Going by the overall facts and circumstances it seems very unlikely that reconciliation may take place. Having sai this, if you do not want divorce then the maximum you can do is not file the divorce petition from your end and contest fittingly if it is filed by him.

2. The court cannot force him to undergo treatment for erectile dysfunction.

3. Being his lawfully wedded wife you have the right to reside in the shared household of your wife. In your DV case you must have already sought a residence order from the court. The court can pass a residence order in your favour to direct your husband to not to violate your right to residence.

4. The court also cannot force him to donate his sperm. 

5. Court monitored mediation is the only hope.

Ashish Davessar
Advocate, Jaipur
26131 Answers
781 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1. No

2. No, court can only direct to do things which are against some statute. It may not direct anything for personal issues. 

3. yes you can. 

4. You may go for IVF, you do not require the consent of the husband 

5. i would advise you to go for counselling sessions. 



Anilesh Tewari
Advocate, New Delhi
16918 Answers
259 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

No in this case you can object to divorce and also file petition for restitution of congual rights for getting him back. 

You can pray for court directions for treatment but cant compel the same. 

You can get order to live in your matrimonial house but no court can forcibly mend any marriage

Without his will how can court force him to give the semen

You can try to convince him at your level

Prashant Nayak
Advocate, Mumbai
12870 Answers
22 Consultations

4.6 on 5.0

1. No if you are attending your case properly you cannot get ex Parte divorce

2. You can put the matter before the court that he is weak and she can go for medication but this matter will definitely be contested by your husband

3. Normally the code provides the opportunity to husband and wife to go for the conciliation and mediation for the purpose of some mutual agreement to save the marriage you can exercise this option

4. Increase your happy with you marriage and the only problem is the child then there are other IVF facility available for this purpose if your husband is agree to that then you can go for that to conceive and have a child

Vimlesh Prasad Mishra
Advocate, Lucknow
5507 Answers
18 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

1. Yes, he can file for contested divorce under any of the grounds mentioned under section 13 of Hindu Marriage Act.

2. No. Court would not interfere in such a matter as it violates the fundamental right to privacy.

3. Court cannot force spouses to live together. It should be by way of mutual consent only.

4. That's a very vague question and the answer to it is again no as it infringes upon the fundamental right to privacy guaranteed under the constitution of India and hence cannot be done under any circumstances.


Siddharth Jain
Advocate, New Delhi
4761 Answers
52 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Divorce won`t grant so easliy, will take years, you just contest the divorce.

Taking treatment is his choice, his impotency can be your ground of divorce which you don`t wont, so do not raise this issue.

You can file application in court to obtain right to residence order in shared household and Restitution of conjugal rights application in family court.

Court dose not entertain such please like sperm donation against his WILL. If he is unable to penetrate, at least convince him to donation.

And if he tries for re marriage, spread his impotency defect, non girl will be interested to marry a hollow soul.

Himself will return when left with no choice.


Yogendra Singh Rajawat
Advocate, Jaipur
13207 Answers
17 Consultations

4.6 on 5.0

1. He cannot get divorce without your consent. 

He cannot file divorce case before completion of one year of marriage. 

2. No, but you can inform in your petition that he is an impotent. 

3. You can file a Restitution of Conjugal rights case. 

4. No, court will not entertain any such application  because there's no provision in law for that. 

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
56681 Answers
701 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1. if your husband proved grounds of divorce then it is possible. 

2.court cannot force him. 

3.you can file section 9 RCR. 

4.you cannot force your husband to give semen for IVF procedure. 

better settle dispute amicably outside of court through mediator. 

Mohammed Mujeeb
Advocate, Hyderabad
10211 Answers
3 Consultations

4.5 on 5.0

1. Yes.  If you are not consenting for Divorce by Mutual Consent, he can approach the Courts for reliefs. 

2. Not really.  If he does approach the Court for Divorce, you may make an Application to get him tested to bring the facts of the case on record.  However, the Court cannot compel anyone to get treatment against their wishes. 

3. That is not reason enough to save your marriage. You could have filed for Restitution of Conjugal Rights rather than for 498A and DV, it would have helped you more. 

4. The Court cannot pass orders to that effect. 


Radhika Mehta
Advocate, Mumbai
484 Answers
4 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Dear Client 

  1. Yes he can get divorce if the summons are served to you in divorce case and you don't appear in court to contest the case he can get Ex-parte divorce.
  2. No court will not force him to take treatment of he is not willing to do so. 
  3. Yes you can file a petition for Restitution Of Conjugal Rights under Section 9 of Hindu Marriage act. To order him to join your company again.
  4. Court will ask you to go for mediation to agree upon mutual conditions to rejoin company of eachother and will not grant divorce easily if you don't want to divorce him. In mediation you can put the condition for donation of semen to get you concieve the baby. 

Mohit Kapoor
Advocate, Rohtak
3531 Answers
1 Consultation

5.0 on 5.0

  1. As per the information mentioned in the present query, makes it clear that despite of not having penetrative sex which is the most essential for building up a family further you still don’t want to leave him. It is really appreciable at my end Mam.
  2. No, he cannot get married again until and unless he gives divorce to you or you take the same.
  3. If he even attempts to get married then I would advice you to file attempt of bigamy case against him.
  4. No, court cannot force him to help you in conceiving in any way.
  5. The cases which you have filed would definitely make them to accept you again otherwise they will be in prison for sure.

Sanjay Baniwal
Advocate, South Delhi
4894 Answers
11 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Ask a Lawyer

Get legal answers from top-rated lawyers in 1 hour. It's quick, easy, and anonymous!
  Ask a lawyer