• Confused and tolerating for family's respect

Hi, 

I had a love marriage 6 years back (inter-religious) and with parents agreements. Things looked so happy and positive. But immediately after marriage following things started: abuse by in laws for following their orders, order not to open my mouth, ignorance by husband. We shifted to another city after few months because of jobs and things got better. I conceived and became mother of a son who is 3 years old. In between my husband kept on abusing me and even had hit me several times but everytime I forgave him for the care he showed during the pregnancy. After delivery my in laws shifted with us to support the household so that I can continue my job. I kept two full day maids for them so they did not have to worry about household tasks at this age.

Its then they started showing their real faces. I was continuously abused for not doing the house hold chores. I was abused that we are taking of your son and you do nothing. My husband beated me several times. Everytime I cried and next day forgot. The problem is this is still continuing for last 4 years approximately. I am abused for not bring enough dowry. My husband even asked to go to my parents house and bring some money. I braught 3 lacks which were spent on household items. I am continuously abused for not supporting house financially. More than 50% of my salary I spend on my expenditure and household items every month and rest I save in bank account and asked my husband to take it as shared asset.
My son is not allowed to go to my parents place. Today when my husband beated me up in the morning for talking loudly to his mother, I took my son to Meet my parents. But they called and abused and warned to complaint to police against me and innocent family. I came back without even reaching there.

I am a lady who looks confident and brave but I have no courage to do anything against my family's respect in society. I am really confused,what should I do against all this that they start respecting for what I am.
Asked 2 years ago in Family Law from Gurgaon, Haryana
Religion: Hindu

move a complaint against your family members and took your son with you if you want to go to your parental home or in separate house. in that complaint give specific dates and specific allegation of cruelty qua specific members of in laws. further show that on their demand your family members given amount on specific date to be tally by you from withdrawal of account

Tarun Budhiraja
Advocate, Rohtak
379 Answers

4.8 on 5.0

Hello,

If you are being harassed to this extent then you mist report the situation to the police and lodge an FIR under the appropriate sections.

I would advise you to have a word with the elders and take the aforementioned step.

Regards

Anilesh Tewari
Advocate, New Delhi
17403 Answers
280 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Firstly, mam please don’t think in a way that if you do something then your reputation will go down.

Secondly, a man specially a husband when can’t give you the respect then there is somewhere you yourself are letting down the power of a woman.

Thirdly, you are an independent woman as I believe so please start living your life with your son.

Fourthly, go for divorce, and also file cases for DV to treat them a lesson.

And if needed file 498 A also.

Fifthly, don’t feel that thinks would get good as it won’t because you can change the behaviour but can’t the thinking of his and family.

Think about your child future, and no court would give him the custody.

Sanjay Baniwal
Advocate, South Delhi
5036 Answers
11 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Hello mam, it is evident from your query that you are facing domestic violence and dowry harrasment from your in -laws and your husband...Legally suggesting, you can initiate criminal proceedings against them by filing a complaint at the women cell, Gurgaon and filing a DV( domestic violence) complaint in court..It is suggested that you proceed further by providing the complaint at the women cell, the women cell on recieving your complaint, will call your husband for mediation ,and if he still persist to keep his behaviour violent a FIR shall be registered against him and your in-laws..For further doubts , i have my office in GURGAON,you can meet me in person for legal assistance ...Thank you

Hemant Chaudhary
Advocate, Gurgaon
4333 Answers
32 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

In these circumstances respect from them is a distant dream and to come out of this start collecting evidence like medical examination from any hospital of any beating by husband, text or what's app messages of any dowry demand, recording of them abusing you, etc and in this course if you at any time feel to move ahead from this relationship then file a criminal complaint against your husband and in-laws u/s 498 A of IPC along with case under Domestic Violence Act and also Divorce on the ground of cruelty and also seek interim and permanent maintenance and share in property.

Saurabh Yadav
Advocate, Gurgaon
50 Answers
1 Consultation

4.0 on 5.0

1) You can make complaints in Police station against whole family for beating and asking for dowry, under section 498a and DV act.

2) Don't worry as you are working women.

Ganesh Kadam
Advocate, Pune
9026 Answers
74 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

See at points in life you have to take firms steps so this kind of abuse is not there as it is morally and legally wrong and punishable under law.

Just file a police complaint for.dowry as you bought amount from home he forced to ,secondly for harresment cruelty under domestic violence and cruelty under 498a with the mahila police station in local area the police before FIR tries for settement at that point time they can agree to keep you good in fear of criminal case and they will understand what is wrong so matter can be settled before FIR once you take such step there can be two things first they will settle things give in writing and you will lead peacefully, secondly this can instigate more and may be it will distort relations. Or if they further donor agree FIR can be filed and criminal.action cam be intiated.But seeing any circumstance something has to be done because you do not have to go through harresment daily a stand needs to be taken.

Further there is mediation now days after SC judgement in such cases so you can taken from them in writing all such things and after time things can resolve.

Shubham Jhajharia
Advocate, Ahmedabad
22882 Answers
93 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Dear querist,

I am sorry to hear that you had to go through so much trauma for all these years. I would advise you to think over the fact that you have a adolescent son and you wouldn't want him to grow up in an atmosphere where he sees his mother verbally and physically everyday. So, at this point of time, keeping in mind that you're an independent woman, you should definitely take corrective steps against your husband and in-laws, as these things won't stop if you do not take any steps and would increase with each passing day.

So, if your objective is to keep away divorce but to bring husband and in-law under pressure that he starts behaving and to put a check on any such activities in future.

You have the option of filing 498a which is criminal in nature apart from the Domestic Violence case against your husband and in-laws.

Regards.

Siddharth Jain
Advocate, New Delhi
5326 Answers
59 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

You must file a domestic violence case and maintainance cases as well as 498a and 406 of IPC. It will serve the right purpose for such acts on their part

Aveek Bose
Advocate, Kolkata
1067 Answers
7 Consultations

4.7 on 5.0

You cannot keep receiving them lying low always.

You have to rise up to the situation.

You can initiate some legal steps so that they will feel the pain of the pinch.

You can file domestic violence case against all of them who torture you seeking protection, residence and maintenance.

You can initiate some legal steps next time when they again indulge in such activities against you

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
61997 Answers
800 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

File police complaint under section 498A of IPC read with section 2,3 of dowry prohibition act against husband and in laws

2) also file DV case against husbnd , in laws seek protection order , custody of your child and maintenance for your son

3) file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty

4) seek interim maintenance from husband , and alimony

5) seek custody of your child

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
72060 Answers
4334 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

I am sure you have got the reply what you ought to do. But believe me, no one deserves this and any such action must be brought to justice. Also, such behaviour of your husband will affect your son's mannerism as well. Raise a man and forget your husband. FIle a case

V Ranjan
Advocate, Delhi
62 Answers

5.0 on 5.0

The only way or circumstance under which they will respect you or treat you nicely is if you keep filling their coffers with money, which is a wrong precedent, not only for you but even for your kid. Imagine what kind of upbringing are you subjecting him to where it is ok to raise your hand on a woman?

There are holding you to ransom on account of your vulnerability and lack of knowledge of legal provisions. Are you aware of the havoc you can wreak on their lives by filing complaints? They are the ones who should be scared, not you.

Before taking any drastic step, you will have to start doing the groundwork and collect proof which will help you in future. Start recording your in-laws' ill-treatment whenever possible. Write emails/ letters to your parents' apprising them of the situation. This will help you build a record for your future litigation. Next time, your husband hits you, go the local Police Station in your jurisdiction and lodge an NC complaint. This should be enough as of now.

Radhika Mehta
Advocate, Mumbai
484 Answers
4 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

You can file an case of cruelty, maintenance etc. against your husband. He do compromise or start respecting you. Remember it can also have adverse effect. Your husband can be more abusive after complaint against him. So, only make a complaint if you really want to have divorce.

Jaswant Singh
Advocate, Gurugram
628 Answers
2 Consultations

4.8 on 5.0

Contact to adv.jaswantsinghkatariya at gmail.com for more information

Jaswant Singh
Advocate, Gurugram
628 Answers
2 Consultations

4.8 on 5.0

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