• Wife constantly threatening to commit suicide over small things

I got married in feb'18 in india ( arrange marriage)...i came for marriage in india and after spending 15 days in india i had to come back to USA for my job....my wife's passport process was started after we married...
She constantly fights with me over small things... she hurts herself and threatens to commit suicide over video call... if i do not agree to do what she wants or say what she wants me too most of the times as she has very bad temper... i am deeply disturbed as she emotionally blackmails me... she also threatens to put my family in jail over small things...even though she is staying with her parents now ( in our caste wife doesnt start living with in-laws directly,for that it takes 6 months to 1 year.. and she visits occasionally). what can i do? I have never forced her to do anything...Even her family know about her threats she gives me.. i havent told my parents yet ( if i tell them she threatens to commit suicide).... she mostly use abusive language .. i wont say i am perfect or i didnt make mistakes (but i never used abusive language...or raised hand..or said anything in anger).. but the way she behaves and threatens is not how i can live my life.. and she always compare me with her ex).... please suggest what can i do.. if she does anything to hurt herself i will be put to blame...
Asked 1 year ago in Family Law from United States
Religion: Hindu

Since you have married only recently, and you are not staying with her nor your parents are staying with her, she possibly will not be able to file a criminal complaint of domestic violence or dowry. Advise your parents to not to speak with her or allow her to visit them in your absence. Also, inform the local police in india (under confidence) regarding the threats being meted out to you as regards the suicide.

Try to record the video calls and do not abuse her for anything. Be patient and let her behave as you are telling about. This would help you in future.

It is also advisable to speak with her parents and inform them of her threats and record the conversation just in case they sre also privy to her suicidal threats.

Is your marriage consummated?

Shaveta Sanghi
Advocate, CHANDIGARH
899 Answers
85 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

In the given scenario, best thing for you is to get Divorce. I believe your wife is mentally in-stable, the way you describe her action. With this you cannot drag it for long, and some day things may get bizzare and out of control. So better you end it now then later after facing consequences. I would not advise you to go for conciliation with elders intervention, because i do not think here it would be any good. Since you have been only married in 2018, it not too late and you can end this soon.

However, since you married in 2018, you will not get divorce, till 1 year of your marriage is over, under the indian Legal System, so you have to wait till then.. So just observe her till that time and make up your mind.. However, in the meanwhile under no circumstances, bring her to US, otherwise with a person like your wife, US law would be very severe on you. Stop her immigration process forthwith.

Currently i am in U.S. (New York). So should you wish to talk to me i be available.

Vivek N Mapara

Vivek Mapara
Advocate, Ahmedabad
28 Answers
2 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1)record her threats

2) ) file police complaint against wife constant threats to commit suicide

3)install CCTV cameras in living room of your house

4)do not bow down to her blackmail tactics

5) file for divorce on expiry of one year of marriage on grounds of mental cruelty

6) wife threatening to commit suicide amounts to mental cruelty

7) wife threatening to send husband and in laws to jail amounts to mental cruelty

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
62788 Answers
3828 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Dear Concerned,

Lets look at the GOOD side of your case first -

A. YOU are in US and your wife isn't with you

B. Your wife stays with her parents and not yours.

NOW with your notes - its not clear what is that you want to achieve - HOWEVER assuming that you do not want to stay with her - as she is abusive and short tempered. Lets look at few points

1. IT's you who would need to process her dependent visa application - IN CASE it has not been processed DON't do it - let her stay back in India - SUBJECT TO that you need not to come to India in recent year and your visa is valid for few years.

2. She does not stay with your parents - hence they need not to worry - but you should have enough documentation that your wife doen't stay with them - GET a CCTV installed at your home in India

3. Evidence play vital role - she is abusive over calls - and video calls and messages and what ever communication she does with you - RECORD - record and save this to save you later......

4, She comparing you with Ex falls under a defined example of cruelty - note it , save it , record it - use it when needed.

UNDER ANY circumstances at this stage do not file any kind of litigation - ALSO please note uder present circumstances - EVEN if your wife plans to file cases- the falsification of the cases can be proved merely by the fact that your are not in India since xyz dates and she does not stay with your parents too.

for more clarifications feel free to connect.

Best of luck

Atulay Nehra
Advocate, Noida
1188 Answers
45 Consultations

4.7 on 5.0

Hello,

I am pained to see you seeking legal advice . Ypur marriage is still in a budding stage .I would like to suggest you to arrange a family meeting where both the parents will present and also seek help of a family counsellor .

You should also try to convince her family to take help of a psychiatrist.

Hope this helps.

Regards

Swarupananda Neogi
Advocate, Kolkata
994 Answers
2 Consultations

4.8 on 5.0

1. During the initial phase of marriage most if it faces lot of turmoil til after few years the initial disputes subsides.

2. SO you can consider this to be the frictions occurs in the beginning and hence have patience.

3. Let her visa process first finish and then take her to USA. Your staying together may helps things work out.

4.. If there is no improvement at all even after 2 years then consider dissolving the marriage by way of mutual divorce.

Devajyoti Barman
Advocate, Kolkata
16928 Answers
240 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Since there's constant torture mentally you need to file a suit seeking dissolution of marriage under Section 13(1)(a) of Hindu Marriage Act under ground of mental cruelty. You need to wait for period of one year to file for divorce after marriage

Record all the abuse done by her and save all messages she sends threatening you. This can be used as evidence when you file for divorce.

Swarnarka Chowdhury
Advocate, Mysore
1729 Answers
4 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

If she lodge a criminal complaint it would invite a depression and mental agony to you and your family members. You may contest case to prove your innocence but till the final vertict all of you have to appear in the criminal case proceedings. Therefore try to solve the issue through elders or well wishers of the family. Inform her threaten attitude to her family members by way of mail or registered letter, atleast it would help you in future, in case if she lodge a criminal complaint you.

Selva Perumal
Advocate, Chennai
251 Answers
22 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

Dear Sir,

THE FOLLOWING ARE QUESTION POSED BY ONE OF THE CLIENT IN SIMILAR SITUATION.

My answers are as follows: Before starting you must remember that it is big task and never fight for case. Be cool and face it.

1, I want to know what is procedure to take divorce now and how much alimony i have to give her and monthly expenses as well.

Ans: Alimony means one time full settlement money given to wife. Montly maintenance is awareded during the pendency of case. She is entitled for one only.

2. What’s are rule and regulation for taking divorce?

Ans: It is given below.

3.I want to know whether my wife can claim her rights on the property of my parents like (my parents house) where i and my family live in as alimony.

Ans: No, wife has no share only right for maintenance or alimony. If she is educated and avoiding employment then alimony will be between Rs.2 – 3 lakhs one time settlement.

4.Will court seal my parent house as alimony ? And even she is asking to sign a paper where it will written as tht I can’t meet my son also in my entire life .

Ans: No, your father property cannot be ancestratl property as such your son not entitled for any share. You should not sign any paper. You have pay monthly maintenance to your son till he attains age of majority, only if you have sufficient means/source of income.

5.Can I take my son custody after 7 years from court.

Ans: Yes, even before that.

6.If I want to do settle out court what is the chance of her asking me for alimony amount?

Ans: Rs. 5 to 6 lakhs.

7.On what bases this alimony and monthly expenses is decided?

Ans: On the basis of your personal income.

8.We can deny if they ask huge amount in alimony to pay as I don’t have that much earning or saving with me to give her huge amount of alimony ?

Ans: Yes, definitely. Then she is entitled for monthly maintenance only.

9.What is the difference between alimony and monthly expenses ?

Ans: Alimony means one time full settlement money given to wife. Montly maintenance is awareded during the pendency of case. She is entitled for one only.

10.Do I need to pay monthly expenses only for my son or I need to pay for wife also it is compulsory to give monthly expenses to wife ?

Ans: yes to both. If you do not pay, your belongings will be attached and you will put into jail, if you are purposefully avoiding.

11.Whether she can do any police complain against me or my family ?

Ans: Yes. But now Supreme Court given several instructions to police before arrest.

12.Whether it is bailable or non bailable complaint?What precautions we shud take to avoid this?

Ans: Non-Bailable unders section 498A IPC and 3 and 4 of Dowry Prohibition Act. You must get aniticipatory bail under section 438 of CrPC

13.Can she harm me and family by putting false alligations ? How to take precautions for all this?

Ans: YES, File quashing petition before the High Court.

14.I even want to know that what are strict norms are there for taking divorce?

Ans: It all depends upon evidence, male rarely get divorce but women get very easily, it is the legal presumption, I am saying this as per my experience as judge.

15.Because my wife is continuously telling me now Norms are very very strict what’s are they?

Ans: Nothing to bother, your advocate protect you.

16.Yes she is working if she is working then I am not liable for her maintenance money

Ans: Yes, your burden will be lessened to 50 to 75%

17.what is section 487A IPC in this can we go bail procedure before and keep it ready with us.

Ans: At the end given.

18.What is RCR?

Ans: It is Restitution of Conjugal Rights filed under section 9 of Hindu marriage Act.

19.What are Section 498A and DV Act?

Ans: Given below

20.Under this act will I get bail or not?

Ans: 498A is non bailble, in these days bail is being given to all husbands if there is delay in FIR.

21.But my wife is asking for Alimony separate and monthly maintenance separate Can I combine both as give her?

Ans: No, law does not permit.

22.It is necessary to give her monthly maintenance in her hand or I can transfer to her account?

Ans: to her account.

22.What is Special marriage act and Indian Divorcee Act?

Ans: Please see below. Both applicable in India.

23.what is the procedure for taking bail?

Ans: Your advocate will tell you if you pay fee.

24.If my wife does second marriage will I be still liable to pay her monthly maintenance?

Ans: No.

25.My wife was troubling me a lot and was keep fighting with me for no reason so in the anger I told her if you continue to trouble me like this I will do Second marriage will this create any problem for me in getting the divorce?

Ans: You will be in jail if you marry without divorce under sectin 494 IPC

26.If I am not capable of paying alimony amount if my wife asks for that what court will take the section.

Ans: If you have money and refuse then you will be sent to jail.

27.From almost 9 months she is at her parent home Can she file a complaint against domestic violence against me or my family?

Ans: yes, police create a very good story and register FIR,

28.Mutual Divorce take 6 month time can we do settlement out of court and take divorce fast?

Ans: yes. if you pay alimony and good fee to your advocate it can be settled within 30 days.

Section 9 in The Hindu Marriage Act, 1955

9 Restitution of conjugal rights. — 7 [***] When either the husband or the wife has, without reasonable excuse, withdrawn from the society of the other, the aggrieved party may apply, by petition to the district court, for restitution of conjugal rights and the court, on being satisfied of the truth of the statements made in such petition and that there is no legal ground why the application should not be granted, may decree restitution of conjugal rights accordingly. 8 [ Explanation. —Where a question arises whether there has been reasonable excuse for withdrawal from the society, the burden of proving reasonable excuse shall be on the person who has withdrawn from the society.] 9 [***]

Section 498A in The Indian Penal Code

376 [498A. Husband or relative of husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty.—Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be pun¬ished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine. Explanation.—For the purpose of this section, “cruelty” means—

(a) any wilful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health (whether mental or physical) of the woman; or

(b) harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her to meet such demand.]

Kishan Dutt Kalaskar
Advocate, Bengaluru www.kishanretiredjudge.com
4085 Answers
98 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

There are two ways to the solution to this problem

1. you need to apply in the family court have permission to divorce your wife as your marriage has not completed one year of solemnization

2. You try to give some more time to your wife as this marriage is very new and she might not be able to cope with new responsibility

For her threats for suicidal act or tendencies you need to inform the local police station so as to save you in case of any such incident or arrange anticipatory bail.

Vimlesh Prasad Mishra
Advocate, Lucknow
5021 Answers
12 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

Make video of her tantrums and collect some reasonable evidence in this respect in that connection and file a divorce case on the ground of cruelty under section 13 (1) (b) of HMA.

Mayank Srivastava
Advocate, Allahabad
61 Answers
11 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Immediately Send the Mail to the Concerned superintendent of Police of the Area, as a matter of Proof and safe guard.

or ask some of the family member to visit the Jurisdictional Police Station and give a written complaint so as to bring the matter into their cognizance at early stage

Abhinav Sabharwal
Advocate, Karnal
29 Answers

4.0 on 5.0

Dear,

- When a wife threatens to commit suicide, in such cases, a case of Criminal Intimidation can be filed.

- If your partner leaves a suicide note, you could be booked by the police under section 306 IPC for

abetting her to commit suicide.

- Inform SHO of local police station about her habit, and mention clearly that you are not responsible

for anything wrong done in future.

- Regular threats for commit suicide amount to cruelty, ground for divorce.

Tarun Agarwal
Advocate, Jaipur
633 Answers
3 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

1. You have married in the month of April'2018 and within 2 months have started getting abuses and suicide threats from your wife?

2. You have two issues as under:

a. how shall you protect yourself and your parents from police action in case she commits suicide on petty issue &

b. even if she does not commit suicide, how shall you pull on with her for rest of your life with such abuses and threats?

3. So, to insulate you against her act of committing suicide in future, collect and keep collecting evidence of her such suicide threats on petty issues and abuses. Thereafter lodge a police complaint against her such suicide threats and preserve the record of your said complaint.

4. Finally, the most important issue for you is that you shall have to decide as to whether you shall continue to have matrimonial relationship with her or shall terminate it while considering that divorce is the 2nd most stressful event in one's life though that does not justify continuing a painful and abusive relationship.

5. After taking the decision as stated above, you shall have to act accordingly.

6. If you decide to terminate the relationship file a divorce petition after one year of your marriage on the ground of cruelty based on the evidence of her cruel acts on you you have already been advised above to collect.

7. If both of you agree that you should part ways, you should jointly file a mutual consent divorce petition on agreed terms, after one year of your marriage and showing in the plain that you have been staying separately for more than an year and in that case the MCD petition will be disposed off within 6 & 1/2 months from the date of its filing..

Krishna Kishore Ganguly
Advocate, Kolkata
22069 Answers
572 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

I can understand how traumatic this entire experience must be for you. However, unfortunately, it is too soon in your marriage for you to be taking any coercive action against your wife. Though your wife may simply be acting out, it is unadvisable to ignore such suicidal behaviour. Therefore, i would advice you not to hide the issue but highlight the same before both the families and try to reach a solution to these constant threats. You first need to record her threats/ outbursts. Thereafter call for a joint family meeting. Confront her family with the threats of their daughter. Record their response so later on no blame can be levied against you.

As far as taking any action which will ensure no blame comes on you, you can record all your calls with her. Keep all communication via WhatsApp etc.

Radhika Mehta
Advocate, Mumbai
460 Answers
4 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Do you have any recordings of them? If your wife is currently not residing with your family, but threatened you to harm your family, etc. Then since you are abroad now, tgen you can lodge an online complaint or email your complaint to the police station which is nearest to your home in India. If you have proof then attach those proof also. Besides, you can lodge a complaint before Human Rights Commission, Women Commission also. Since, you are abroad, and you have not informed your parents regarding the situation, then you can lodge complaint online.

Moumita Mitra
Advocate, Kolkata
366 Answers
1 Consultation

4.0 on 5.0

Hello,

Keep on collecting such evidences wherein she is posing threat on you.

Also, if she is living in India then by means of a letter you may intimate the police authorities of your area that such threat is being imposed upon you.

By doing these things you can save yourself if in case she does something in future.

Regards

Anilesh Tewari
Advocate, New Delhi
16050 Answers
235 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Like you have informed us about the suicidal tendencies of your wife, you may write a mail to your couple of close friends/confidante/relative, informing them of the same; so that this may actually help you in future as an evidence if you land up in any untoward situation.

Share this with your parents. Thereupon, this may be reported to the Police.

Vibhanshu Srivastava
Advocate, New Delhi
8276 Answers
121 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

You have hardly started your married life but seem to be in problems so soon.

You try to process the visa arrangement at the earliest and take her to US where the conditions and the circumstances may bring some changes and you may be able to solve the problems.

This is just a beginning, all these things will get sorted out and solved at the passage of time.

You should have patience and sh8ld not lose your temper, she may not be knowing the consequences of her such arrogant and rash behavior.

She is still under the impact of her paternal home hence it may take some time for her to come out of that circle and adjust to your family circumstances, you may wait.

Dont take any step in haste which may jeopardize all your plans and future dreams of a happy married life too.

Dont take her suicidal threats very seriously, if you are so much concerned about her attitude, you may call her father and inform him about this and to take care of her til the time you take her to US.

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
52880 Answers
635 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Please, firslty make a complain on behalf of your family that she is doing such sort of things despite the fact she doesn’t even stay with them.

Then file a divorce case please to get rid of her as her temper may put you in trouble in near future.

Sanjay Baniwal
Advocate, South Delhi
4316 Answers
8 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

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