• Forced MCD please advise

I have been forced to sign the MCD petition since my wife threatened me that she will commit suicide but she did not say this herself but her parents and other relatives told this to me while we went for out of court settlement. 

They also did not claim any alimony or sreedhan hence my parents compelled me to divorce her since there is no demand for alimony. Since things are smooth, lets get divorce under MCD. I heard in MCD cases, court gives you 6 months cooling period hence I agreed for MCD. I thought later during the 6 months cooling period, I will try to convince her and also try for counselling. But I had come to know that during the first hearing on 9th April, her lawyer is going to file a application to waive off the cooling period. After hearing this, I had become very sad and depressed. My parents told me to move on and get married again but it's not possible since I still truly love her. I am currently in a do or die situation. Either I get her back or else I will quit my life. 
 
I have been crying for the past 4 months. Due to the social stigma, man cannot cry, I was not able to reciprocate my feelings to anyone. But after hearing this, I cannot control my emotions. Now i am not really sure why my wife is rushing things and wants to get divorce without even waiting for the 6 months cooling period. Did she found any other suitable match? I hope not. If yes, I will not be able to see her in someone else's arms. I am already heartbroken and would not be able to bear this pain. 
 
My lawyer told 6 months cooling period is waived off in rare cases and completely depends of the mood of the judge. I am suspecting, my in laws have completely brainwashed her and convinced her to end this soon before she changes her mind. My told me that I can either say NO during the first hearing or don't attend the hearing itself. I told my lawyer that I will not divorce her on grounds of mutual consent. I will divorce her on ground of non consuming of marriage and cruelty. But my lawyer told, if i want to fight it out, I would have to spend, time and money and it will around 7-8 years to get divorce and during this time, I have to pay her maintenance and she can also claim for permanent alimony. 
 
I am really confused. I have been forced by my family to divorce her since she is not asking for alimony or settlement. Is marriage and relationship only about money? Does nobody care about the relationship? My parents tell me to remove her from my mind and move on but it's not easy but impossible. I am caught in the middle right now and need good and honest guidance. 

To be honest and frank, even though my thread will be viewed by many people, I am saying this in writing that I cannot imagine a life without her. I don't worry about, prestige, society, people, relatives, ego. I want to stay happily with her. I will try every attempt to save this marriage. The reason I will say NO for MCD is that I will at least get a chance to see her during the course of divorce. I can console my mind that still she is not out from my life. 
Please make some honest and genuine suggestion. Put yourself into my shoes and let me know what you will do in my situation. 

1. This is a true story. Please don't think this is a cooked up story. Every bit of it is directly from my heart. I know this is a not a forum to show the emotions. 

2. I did ask her and she told she don't want to stay with me since there is no mutual understanding between us. I am 100% sure this is a cooked up story. Earlier my in laws told the only problem is that I am diabetic and they told to all my relatives that I did not disclose to them that I was diabetic before marriage. Now this was the case they should have mentioned in the MCD that they want divorce on these grounds. 

3. If i had given 1 chance, just 1 chance, to speak with her. I will try to convince her. I want to sort out all the differences. Till now I was not even allowed to speak to her to sort out all the differences. It clearly shows that she has been brainwashed. If they emotionally blackmail me they must have done the same to her. 

4. I am not asking anything else. If she wants to get separated, I will respect her decision. But I want the answers to all my questions. I want to go for counselling and get help of a mediator where she can speak openly without anyone's pressure. 
 
I AM CONFIDENT THAT IF I WAS GIVEN 1 HOUR TO SPEAK WITH HER. I CAN EASILY SORT OUT ALL THE DIFFERENCES. I AM READY TO CHANGE MY LIFE, CHARACTER, LIFESTYLE ACCORDING TO HER NEEDS AND WISH. GETTING SEPARATED IS NOT A SOLUTION FOR THE PROBLEM. MY SISTER SPOKE TO HER AND SHE HAD A SECOND THOUGHT ON GETTING SEPARATED BUT AGAIN SHE WAS PRESSURISED FOR MCD. 

Even now she loves me but due to the pressure from the family she is not coming out and talking openly. Lot of influence and interference from her parents and relatives. My in-laws are shooting from my wife's shoulder that my wife doesn't want to talk, she doesn't want to stay, she will commit suicide. 
 
Hope to see good suggestions from senior members and rest. 
 
Regards
Depressed soul
Asked 2 years ago in Family Law from Chennai, Tamil Nadu
Religion: Hindu
Dear Querist
No need to worry, your wish to save the marriage is very good and i really appreciate you for this.

when MCD will filed before the court then both of you will be there in person with the counsel then you can approach the court for counselling or you are willing to talk to her personally alone or you are not willing for MCD and you are ready to save the marriage, the court will fixed the matter for another day and refer the matter before counselor where you can express your wish and try to save the marriage, 

if not possible then MCD is best option
Nadeem Qureshi
Advocate, New Delhi
3534 Answers
130 Consultations
4.9 on 5.0
1. An agreement whereon either party has signed under duress is not capable of enforcement.

2. If you do not want to get separated from your wife then you should not have signed the MOU in the first place unless and until your wife told you in unambiguous terms that she wants divorce. 

3. Now you can either refrain from appearing in the court or articulate on your appearance in the court your unwillingness to go through the mutual divorce process, whereupon the mutual divorce will fail.

4. It is true that waiving of cooling off period depends entirely on the mood of the concerned judge. However, if the cooling off period is waived then you would be left with no time to channelize your efforts towards saving your marriage.

5. If mutual divorce fails your wife will be able to apply for divorce on the grounds available to her. The court will order mediation where you can strive to save our marriage.
Ashish Davessar
Advocate, Jaipur
18158 Answers
449 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
Hi, you don not bother much you have just signed the mutual consent divorce petition and matter will be posted on next date for your appearance.

2. There is six months waiting period is there so the court will give an opportunity to the parties is there any chance of conciliation between the parties so that parties may save there marriage.

3. You just appear before the court and you must make a submission that you are not interested for divorce and i will ready to live with your wife.

4. Under normal circumstance court will give an opportunity to settle the matter amicably.
Pradeep Bharathipura
Advocate, Bangalore
4105 Answers
133 Consultations
4.3 on 5.0
By the look of it, it seems that your wife wants to get separated from you.   She is willing to divorce you.   

Your lawyers advice to you is correct.   You might have to go according to your lawyers advice.   No Judge will hurry and give divorce.   You have the opportunity to meet your wife during counselling, where you will come to know of her fully.
Bhaskaran
Advocate, Bangalore
21 Answers
0 Consultations
Not rated
1) if your wife does not want to stay with you then you cant force her to stay with you . 

2) if your wife does not want any alimony ans is not making any claims the advice of your parents is correct . 

3) divorce by mutual consent is best option . 

4) cooling period of 6 months wont be waived of by family court . 

5) once you file petition for divorce by mutual consent case is referred for counselling 

6) you are at liberty to with draw your consent . 

7) if you dont appear in court divorce petition would be dismissed . 

8) your wife may then file contested petition for divorce . it may take around 5 years to be disposed of
Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
23291 Answers
1220 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
1. You have stated your mind only,

2. The fact is that your wife does not want to stay with you and want divorce without claiming even a dime,

3. She is not a property which you would like to own or keep with you. She is a human being who does not want to stay with you. The brainwashing theory may not go down well before the Court,

4. No reason for divorce like deabetes is required to be mentioned in the MCD petition,

5. It is also a fact you should have mentioned about your said decease/ailment before marriage,

6. Your parents are right while saying that move on your life and also let her move on her life,

7. You stated that you can not see her in someother's arms. It is based on the thought that you are authorised to decide what she shoud do. If she does not want to stay as your wife for some reason which she can not compromise with, then she can ask for divorce and marry anybody she wishes to,

8. Please note that if you create trouble in her getting decree of MCD, then she can retaliate by filing numbers of cases/complants against you,

9. However, if you do not want to give her MCD, you can refuse to appear before the Court on the day of the 2nd motion or even if you appear, you can tell the Court that you want to talk to your wife for half an hour after which you will reappear.
Krishna Kishore Ganguly
Advocate, Kolkata
12123 Answers
231 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
Hi,
 If there is an existing petition filed and the same has passed 6 months and if you are filing a compromise and consent terms as per that, the court will pass an order without waiting for 6 months.

In your description  there is not mention of existing petition so  possibility of passing an order before 6 months is not there. If it is a MCD you will get a chance to speak to her in front of the counselor.
During the 6 months time try to convince her to be back with you if not go ahead with the MCD.

if your wife does not want to come back to you , it is better to respect her and end it amicably.
It needs courage and a healthy decision to allow your love to go away for her own good, if you can feel that her future is not with you at the same time you do not need to bow down to any body's pressure and demand if you feel you can take your marriage successfully ahead with her.
Thresiamma G. Mathew
Advocate, Mumbai
1316 Answers
85 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0

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