• Wife harassment

Dear sir, I was married in November 2016 and having 1 month old kid now. I have not taken any dowry any form of favor from my in laws. My sister and brother both are studying and my father is a teacher. We are a middle class family. I help my parents financially and also work hard to fulfill my wife's needs. I take her out infact I paid the entire delivery bill during her labor. But she has started abusing my parents saying they are eating my money. She tells me to leave my parents and stay with her. She asks me to promise her to not to give any money to my parents. She tells me that if I don't promise her she will leave me and doesn't allow me to see my kid. She blackmails me saying she will die and all. She tells my parents are cheaters and lofers. Her mother is the one who responsible for this because she influence her daughter a lot. She even speaks vulgar about my parents. My parents went through very very bad times to provide me education and make me what I'm today. I can't live without my family at all. What are all the options I have now. I have the prof for abusing my parents. I have the proof that I paid her hospital charges. I have the prof that I transfer money every month for her personal needs. I have never touched any dowry or anything and never taken any favour from them. What do I do next to either get rid of this or save my marriage? Her elder sister had a 498a filed against her former husband and received 28 lakhs INR. I feel they are planning to trap me same way. What are the options I have and how do I save myself from false allegations, arrest etc
Asked 2 years ago in Family Law from Bangalore, Karnataka
Religion: Hindu

It is too early and hasty to take any decision against your marriage.

You should try to save the marriage till the maximum extent and after that if the situation is compelling or beyond tolerance you may decide otherwise.

Such type of immature behavior or common among the newly wedded wives because they are not exposed to outside world and in fact their impression is that anything which is against their choice or wishes is nothing but an ill-treatment or cruelty against them.

Their parents are the culprits in most of the cases who will not even be bothered about the future of their children because their selfish motive mentality is the one which is misguiding and spoiling the future of their children.

For the present you may remain silent for few months and allow her to change her mentality in this regard but you should remain firm on your decision and not to budge to any pressure from her side.

They may probably send her to your home once the child completes five or seven months, if she is not returning until then, you can issue a legal notice asking her to return to the matrimonial fold.

If she is not willing to return and instead if she resorts to file dowry harassment case, then you may challenge her false case by first obtaining anticipatory bail and then confronting her in the trial proceedings properly.

Observing patience would be the option before for the present, which itself would bring lot of changes

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
58651 Answers
743 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Relax, don't panic, you are not single of facing that situation. Considering these kind of false cases at the hands of womens, Laws are changed by Govt and Supreme Court in Arnesh Kumar case. Now no police can arrest persons in 498. So relax. But make initiative to file petition for divorce if no response from other side. Also do provide some more details about your background and her also so that I can give right advice to you. Thanks.

Shaikh Pirpasha Ajamoddin
Advocate, Latur
18 Answers
1 Consultation

4.0 on 5.0

1) Try to explain her all things that how you have struggled to come this position ans your parents has suffered to make capable you to.live in this world.

2) Just show all proof to police in police station and make complaint, simply complaint and not FIR. When you feel that you are going to get trap like her elder sister husband, explain all these things for safety purpose to explain or narrate all in details what ever you have said above or asked questions here.

Ganesh Kadam
Advocate, Pune
8167 Answers
68 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

1) If they file for 498a, still you can say that its false or fake. As you have all the proofs. And you don't what to spoil your marriage life.

2) Just for your safety can make a complaint in police station and ask police not to visit at home.

For further details select consultation call.

Ganesh Kadam
Advocate, Pune
8167 Answers
68 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

you can file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty

2)wife forcing husband to stay separate from parents amounts to mental cruelty

3) wife forcing husband not to mainatin his parents amounts to mental cruelty

4) wife abusing in laws amounts to mental cruelty

5) in case wife files false case of dowry harassment apply for and obtain AB from sesssions court

6) your parents can lodge police complaint against abusive daughter in law

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
68823 Answers
4143 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

only after FIR is filed can you file for and obtain AB from sessions court

2) file NC with local police station regarding wife abusive behaviour

3) burden of proof is upon wife to prove that you had demanded and that her parents paid dowry to you

4) visit a family counsellor with your wife to resolve your differnces

5) call meeting of elders of both families to resolve the issue

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
68823 Answers
4143 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Hello,

I understood your issues that your beloved wife does like or prefer you to be with your parents who put very hard steps to brought you to great heights in your life. But, your wife may not or cannot understand it even think about the reality of the close knit and love between you and your family.

You are in dual mind that you love your wife very much and at the sametime you fear that she may file false case false case against you since her elder sister file the wrong case against husband on cruelty domestic violence at case right here you have the provision to call your wife back to live with you in the respective family court or sub court under section 9 of the Hindu Marriage Act here if you file This petition restitution of conjugal rights which means that you are filing a case against your wife saying that you wanted to live with your wife. You are also talking about Section 498 a which is a false case that she may fine right you need not bother as soon as you file a case of restitution of conjugal rights where you may mention that your wife is abusing everyone and still you still love her and you still wish to live with your wife here you may also mention that she may file with the falls intention to file a wrong case against you.

And one more thing you should mind that as soon as you file a case of divorce or a restitution of conjugal rights the police cannot file any case against you since since the restitution of conjugal rights is pending before the horrible sub Court or the horrible family court so the police cannot file any case against you.

Sivasubramanian B
Advocate, Chennai
47 Answers
2 Consultations

4.0 on 5.0

1. Since she has not filed any complaint yet you should collect as much evidence as you can which can demonstrate her cruelty towards you and family members. This can help you to not only obtain anticipatory bail but also disprove her case.

2. As and when the FIR for 498A gets filed then apply for anticipatory bail. Unless the FIR is lodged you cannot apply for anticipatory bail in 498A.

3. The onus will be on her to prove through affirmative and cogent evidence that you demanded dowry.

4. A marriage counsellor may help you to save the marriage.

Ashish Davessar
Advocate, Jaipur
26653 Answers
797 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Well it is nice hear that you are attempting to save your marriage but if fails then it will be at shoulder of her. As earlier I told that police cannot arrest you in 498a even Govt issued GR in 2010. So be calm and just focus on restitution. Also get initiate to send an legal notice for restitution. Thanks.

Shaikh Pirpasha Ajamoddin
Advocate, Latur
18 Answers
1 Consultation

4.0 on 5.0

Dear Querist

if you want to live with her then filing RCR under section 9 of Hindu Marriage Act-1955 will be best for you, but if you don't want to live with her then immediately file a divorce case against based on cruelty U/s 13(1)(ia) of Hindu marriage Act-1955 before the family court.

if she filed any case against you and your parents before the police of court after your divorce case then the court may consider those cases as counterblast case.

Now in the present senerio the police is not going to arrest under 498A or matrimonial cases.

Feel Free to Call

Nadeem Qureshi
Advocate, New Delhi
5362 Answers
260 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

Why you don't try a way out which may lead a peaceful life for you and parents too.

Just move from out of the family and negotiate the deal with your wife to save your home and save your future as well.

Supporting family is not a bad idea but you may do it even at living separately.

Presidency of 498A by your sister in law does not mean 498A on you as well.

Sit together and discuss the way out by your Wife and parent and choose the way which is amicable .

Vimlesh Prasad Mishra
Advocate, Lucknow
5653 Answers
19 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

Respected sir...

There are two things which you should do must first make your mind clear that what do you really want at present on the basis of facts and circumstances and the second one is What action do you really want to take against her ... Social convince or legal action...

Sir in your above question it seems better to take divorce from her because she is doing such as harrashmet to you as well as your family if you want divorce and a defence against 498-A and IPC and ll other fake Case's you have to file a petition under section 13-A of HMA seeking divorce decree from court...And if you want to be with her just convince her to live a happy married life and ignore such peety things ...

Sir all is upto you what you want...You have both the options available...

Thank you

Dinesh Sharawat
Advocate, Delhi
971 Answers
6 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

Coercing the husband to abandon the aged and ailing parents, is a ground of divorce for husband.

The demands of your wife are totally misplaced and have no protection under law.

If you have decided to move out of this marriage, you have sufficient grounds to file a divorce case against her.

Having said, if you wish t give this marriage a chance, you both must try and have a couple of sessions with a marriage counsellor.

Vibhanshu Srivastava
Advocate, New Delhi
8734 Answers
144 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1. Once, if they file false 498a case against you then you also file case against her under charges of domestic violent act for the harassment.

2. Just the complaint copy made against you for the charges of 498a is enough to apply for anticipatory bail. You may get back to us to get it done.

3. I suggest you to start thinking about giving divorce to her, since you are facing multiple issues with her.

4. Each and every incident of harassment towards your parents should be recorded ( it can be in any format ) and can be produced in court to support your case.

Niranjan
Advocate, Bangalore
844 Answers
9 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

1. You can obtain anticipatory bail only if the FIR is registered with the local police on the basis of a complaint before them.

2. It is matter of trial. The burden to prove that you demanded dowry lies on the defacto complainant before the court during trial proceedings.

Hence you may wait until then and plan the strategy to defend yourself.

3. The above answer suit this question too

4. You can cal for mediation before the ADR/lok adalat where you will have a chance to talk to her in person before the mediators.

This will help you convince her and also to know about her stand and also herself.

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
58651 Answers
743 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Regarding AB = Laws have changed now after SC judgment. Don't hurry to get AB, instead a local lawyer can tackle the police for not filing the FIR. Else, apply for AB once FIR is registered.

Regarding dowry = Once criminal prosecution is launched, then you need to worry about salary, etc., Till such time, relax.

Regarding abuse = If abused, she would have filed a police complaint or hospital records. If such proof are absent, again, don't worry.

Regarding Convincing = Good that you trust and love her. Definitely, that will help and she will be with you soon. Time is the healer and wait for the ripe time and approach her. She and the baby will be yours!!! Relax......

Rajaganapathy Ganesan
Advocate, Chennai
1580 Answers
8 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

Firstly, I really appreciate that feelings which you rr having for your family.

Secondly, just mark a complain with all the recordings to the police specifying that you are doing it for the purpose that if she in future does anything, this would come to safe you.

Thirdly, there is a latest Supreme Court judgement that wife can’t als husband to live his parents.

Fourthly, after doing as per I said in second point if you happen to abscond then you can ask for Anticipatory also withe the copy of the complain to give more credibility to your Anticipatory bail application.

Sanjay Baniwal
Advocate, South Delhi
4931 Answers
11 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Don't panic. You are free to file Divorce against her on ground of cruelty. In 498A as per the supreme court directives no person is arrested in mechanical way.so don't worry about get arrested. You have to decide whether you want to stay with her or divorce her.

Prashant Nayak
Advocate, Mumbai
14378 Answers
24 Consultations

4.6 on 5.0

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