Hello sir, I am Jyoti aged 34 years. It has been only one month to my marriage. My husband works in a private company. I work as a medical professional in AIIMS Delhi. My father expired when I was 10. I have one elder brother and two sisters. Elder sister is married. My only brother was transferred to Assam by his office. Now the family responsibility came on my shoulder. My widowed mother remains ill and needs proper medical care. Being in a medical profession, My brother, sisters take my help in knowing about her treatment and medications. My jija Ji told my brother about a boy in his relation for marriage purpose for me. Later on marriage got fixed on 18 June 2017. We got agree because Jija Ji knew the boy and his family very well. The family was well acquainted with my family condition. The only thing they told me before marriage was that they are Radha Soami and don't eat non-vegetarian. They asked me to quit non-vegetarian food. I told them about my office working hours which is 9:30am to 5:30pm. I told them I reach home at 6:30pm. I told that in emergency I may have to stay in office for more time. I told them these things before marriage. Marriage took place on 18 June. As the days went my father-in-law said me I eat at 6:30pm. This time is permanent and I can't change it. Sir please note I reach at home at 6:30pm. How is it possible to serve him food at 6:30pm. My mother in law blamed me and said "Bahu ke aane ke baad bhi Khana mujhe hi banana pdta hai". One day father-in-law asked me to discuss about financial planning for future. He suggested me and to invest my surplus money in FDs and asked me to talk to husband about this. When I discussed him about financial planning, he was totally not interested. He shouted on me and blamed me for degrading him on grounds of his low salary. I never asked him how much his Income is. I just wanted to do what his father asked me to do. One day my father in law asked about my grade pay and GPF. I said I have NPS not GPF. He asked me to show my salary slip to him. He asked many questions regarding DA, TA. He suggested me for more investments if I could do. My salary slip was showing loan (4 lacs) repayment installment. Now he constantly asks my brother that jyoti has taken loan why. Sir as my father was expired, and there is no financial back to us, we have done everything on our own. Since I have one more sister to be married. I took loan for my marriage. Moreover my husband and my in laws do not allow me to talk to my ill widow mother. My brother and sisters have to take my help for treatment of our mother. They don't let me to call my brother and sister. They put restrictions on me to go to my maternal home. Before my marriage I was treating my mother and giving her medicines for she is a patient of schizophrenia. Now my Inlaws and my husband want me to divorce. They say either talk to your brother or be ready for divorce.
You say it is just one month old marriage, hence you are not able to confront such issues.
The issues may look very big now, but it will gradually get subsidized.
You dont lose your patience.
Just manage to cope up with the matrimonial home for the present and then if it is no more possible to take things lying low, you may decide about staying separately away from them without hampering your married life.
Dont take any decision in haste which may jeopardize your married life.
You can go anf file an FIR against them for harrasment under section 498a of IPC.
If you want to take divorce you will have to wait for 1 year from the day of marriage.
Regards
1. If you too want to end the matrimony then a petition for dissolution of marriage through mutual consent can be filed after a year from the date of marriage. It cannot be filed earlier than a year.
2. If you do not want divorce then let your husband file the petition and you can contest it fittingly.
3. Since you have been subjected to acts of domestic violence inside the house you can file a case under DV Act to seek protection and restraint order against your in-laws.
1. You are married lady and not slave.So raise protest of their conduct and do what you think is right for you and your family.
2. The more you listen to their dictates the more you would become their servant.
3.This is your marriage and not a jail house. So live life at your terms and not at sacrifice of your self pride and dignity.
Please do understand that you entered in to new life and new situations. A life after Marriage is quite similar. There are anxieties of getting into a new life, adjustments with your husband, meeting new people such as your spouse’s friends/relatives/family, few of them you would like and few, not. And that’s absolutely fine. You would have to make certain adjustments and design a new schedule for yourself keeping in mind the timings/preferences of your spouse. But gradually you will feel good about it as you create precious moments through the journey and when its the end, you will miss it the most. Marriage forces you to realize that most precious things in life are non materialistic.
In your case the honeymoon is literally over, and it's time to start adjusting to life as a married couple. From communication to finances to dealing with in-laws, marriage can be challenging in new ways, no matter how long you and your spouse have been together. Work together, love each other, and you'll do fine with life after marriage.
Communicate well
There will always be unexpected changes and challenges in life, and you and your spouse need to be able to work through them together. Be open and honest. There are going to be times that you need to bring up issues that might be uncomfortable or difficult, but you have to do it. Think about what you might say beforehand
Don’t use ultimatums in life
No one likes them, and they typically don’t get you what you want. Even though it might be satisfying at the time to issue an ultimatum, chances are you will regret it later. The kinds of statements you might regret later include.
It’s easy to get mad at the other person when they seem to be impinging on the freedom you had before you were married. And it’s often difficult to adjust to the fact that you always have someone waiting for you at home when you’re out with your friends. Think about your actions from the other person’s perspective, and ask yourself if you would like them to act in the way you are acting -- this can often dispel the anger you might feel at the person for wanting you to check in or let them know when you might be home.
Work to have a good relationship with your in-laws.
Many of us have in-laws who are very different from ourselves, and at times it’s difficult to see eye-to-eye. But it is important to have the best relationship you can with your father and mother-in-law. Think about the ways you can welcome them into your new family composed of you and your spouse
Father in law may be like to guide you for future stability and he may conscious about financial stability. In your case father in law intervened more in your family life. Lack of conversation is one of the villain. It is a just one month run over the new life but many differences aroused in your life.
You can manage the things but you may prepare to do for that do it in wise and proper way. Every couple has different ideas about how to make money work best in their marriage. After all, you will not have the option of breaking up over a petty issue once you get married. And, patience is the key to a successful marriage. You become cautious of what you say. Obviously, you are new to this family, and anything wrong said by you might hurt them. You not only learn to convey your feelings in a calmer manner, but you also excel in the art of listening. Do not panic! These will soon become a part of your life and you will totally love your new role in life.
Using law and order is the last resort. Try to settle the matter amicably with family and friends. A happy marriage is a harbour in the tempest of life an unhappy marriage a tempest in the harbour of life, more and more people are realising the reality of their relationships, and accepting divorce as the rational choice to a better life necessary premised on better relationships.
Divorce should only be used as a last resort when you feel that marriage has broken down irretrievably and in spite of your best efforts there is no chance of survival of marriage.
1) there is no future in your relationship with your husband
2) if husband refuses to permit you to talk to your widowed mother and siblings return to your matrimonial home
3)you are at liberty to visit your maternal home
4) only in exceptional circumstances can you file for divorce before expiry of one year of marriage
5) divorce by mutual consent is best option
Hi, mam they have no grounds to apply for divorce , neither they will be granted divorce if they apply for it ... However you can file a case of domestic violence on your in- laws on the base of mental cruelty ..
-File a domestic violence petition against your in-laws and the husband and complaint in the matter of all the atrocities you are facing at their hands.
-You may also lodge a FIR, incase you're physically harassed by them.
