Wife and her parental family is mentally torturing
I was married in 2010. From 2012 My wife is not living with me in a proper way. She is not treating me as her husband, from years she is not making physical relationship with me, whenever I wish to make physical relationship, she refuse to do, and fights with me. She is using me as husband only to show the society that she is married. She is using me for fulfilling her financial needs and for social status only. After child birth in 2013 most of the time she is staying with her parental family only without my permission and my wish, she comes to me only occasionally to get money from me. From last 3 years She also avoids our parental family and our society, even not talking to our parents or our relatives. She and her parental family specially her brother constantly making pressure on me to break all the relations with our parents and relatives and forcing me to keep relation only with them. They are also threatened me to ruin my carrier n life if I have not obeyed them. Many times they have threatened to kill me if I will not fulfill all needs of his sister. After filling a written complaint in local police against him, he stopped it. But still my wife is misbehaving with me all the way, not doing house work and asking half salary every month and refusing to make physical relationship with me. She is not properly taking care of child, even at the age of 1 year 7 month she is using 24 hours diaper for child. Most of the time she is lying on the bed and sleeping or chatting with friends or playing games on phone. If I interrupt her, she fight with me all the way and threatening me to lodge dowry n home violence case against me, if I interfere in her life style and other things. She is not doing any house work except cooking easy n shortcut food. Even she she is not washing her own used bed sheets, thats I have to wash. Now she and her brother are torturing me in a planned way. She triggered me in a planned way to have fight with her and called police filled complaint against me and went with her brother to his house with all her belongings. Now they are forcing me to give divorce or let her live as she wants. Please suggest me, what to do in this situation ?
Asked in Family Law from Goa, Goa
1) You try to convince your wife through dialogue and being her back if she agrees as you have a small child.
2) In case she refuses to come and reinstate the conjugal relationship with you, you have a legal option to file for RCR(Restitution of conjugal relationship) of you wish to continue in the marriage.
3) Of you wish to go ahead with a divorce, negotiate for a mutually consented divorce and end the matter amicably.
4) It is highly advisable to visit a marriage counsellor along with your wife to save your marriage as matters like unwillingness to have physical relationship with husband can be sorted out in proper counselling. Get some friend or relative to convince her to visit a counsellor.
5) If she does not agree to your suggestions above file an independent petition for divorce on grounds of cruelty. You will be liable to pay maintenance of the wife is not earning. Thou also ate liable to pay maintenance for the child.
I do not think your marriage is surviving for any practical purposes and in that event if intervention of common friends and relatives does not yield any result then you have two options-
i. Continue to live like this with hope that in one day she would change.
ii. Apply for dissolution of marriage which should be avoided for the time being for the sake of child.
Your fact situation has merit for divorce as severance of engaging in physical relationship and forbearing from discharging any kind of matrimonial obligations is a great kind of mental cruelty ion which you can file suit for divorce.
1. You must decide what you want. If you wish to save your marriage then you and your wife may visit a marriage counsellor. If differences cannot be ironed out with conciliation then file for mutual divorce.
2. If your wife refuses to come on board for mutual divorce then you may unilaterally file for divorce on the ground of cruelty,
3. You must note that in the event you file for divorce your wife may hit back by filing a case for dowry harassment, assault, attempt to murder, etc. It will be imperative for you to file for anticipatory bail to preempt your arrest.
4. Your wife may also file a case for maintenance against you, a claim which you can successfully rebut if she is earning on her own.
5. You may also seek the custody of your child by filing a case for child custody. Since your wife has neglected her parental duty the court may award you the custody.
1) your best option is to file for divorce by mutual consent . if your wife refuses divorce by mutual consent file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty
2) it is well settled law that refusal to have sex amounts to mental cruelty . in your case for last 2 years wife has refused to have sex with you .
3) next time your in laws threaten to kill you record the threats . file police complaint of criminal intimidation against your brother in law
In this junction you can decide to live with wife or separate from her.
1. If like to continue the relationship, consult a physiologist or marriage counselor. The main problem between you and your wife is lack of conversation. I Think you fear to talk your wish and needs to her properly due to her misbehaved manner. Involved your nearest and dearest one for settle the issues amicably.
2. If you are not continued the relationship then file a case for divorce and if possible settle the matter amicably and file mutual divorce petition. As per Supreme Court judgments on the issue and said “it is evident that willful denial of sexual intercourse without reasonable cause would amount to cruelty.”
It is advisable that you file a petition for divorce either on the mutual consent if the wife is agreeable or a contested divorce petition on the grounds of creulty, refusal of physical relationship, dessertion etc. Meanwhile you can also file for custody of the child giving instances as to her inability to take care of the child in the best way. Further as regards the threats issued by her and her brother, you may file a police complaint against them for criminal intimidation.
1. It appears that you two did not gel well in your matrimonial life,
2. Decide what do you want to do with this relationship keeping the welfare of your child in your mind,
3. If you decide to continue, start talking to her and try to convince her to be with you in the interest of your child,
4. If you decide to call it a day, then collect evidence (audio/video recordings) of all her cruelty and file a divorce suit against her.
first of all, try to settle the matter amicably with her and her family members.
if not possible then file a divorce case against her u/s 13(1)(ia) & 1A of Hindu Marriage Act-1955 read with amended act.
all her activities come under the cruelty and you may grant divorce on this ground.
you may file a divorce case if she is living with you too but separate from fulfill her matrimonial duties.
Advocate, New Delhi