Seeking separation from wife
I got married on 8th Feb 2014, I work with an MNC Bank drawing around 50k monthly in Delhi, while my wife works at a leading newspaper as an assistant editor & draws about 20k monthly. I belong to a homely family & the main bread earner of my family. In the starting of marriage my wife demanded to take her out few times, which we did. I used to do nights shifts due to which mybiological clock is set in a way i sleep around 1-2 am in night. Where in my wife works in a proper morning shifts. I spend my time @ nights, following Twitter & chatting with my friends. I am still friends with the ex's one of whom is happily married & got a kid in pune, & other one is still unmarried & working in my organisation. She has got few proofs of my past relationship with the same girl. My wife keeps on torturing me with questions related to my present relationship with my colleague. She is even harassing me that she has evidences of me and my colleague being online together on whatsapp for conversation. She is blaming me of emotional infidelity. However, i have few her chats of her with one of her relatives, abusing my parents & badmouting about them, & when i confronted her with same, she sd it was my other relatives who used to fill her ears with bad things abt us. Though they deny to do so & have told me about all the things, abuses & accusations which she said about me, my parents. This to fact where my parents have been real supportive of her & question me on my current status with my ex on her behalf. Of late the atmosphere @ home has been real bad & so is relationship between us. There have been constant fights between us, on every petty topic. I have undergone through a dreadful phase of depression, and still suffering from sleep disorders. She has failed to give emotional security to me. She intends me to leave my family & stay on with her seperately which i donot want to. For two months now, she has been asking me to take a final decision about our relationship, if we would want to continue or not. I donot want to continue with relationship & am just not able to take that decision as i feel i would have to pay her a lumpsum amount, which i donot have & about the 498A & other legal courses which she would take against me & my family, which i donot want to face. On my part i have below proofs of my own to save my self & my family from above accusations:
A). I have screen shots of her chat with one of her relatives, where she abused my grand mother, my maternal relatives, my father & said am good to her & my paternal uncle & aunt are also real good with her. In the same chat she wants me to leave my parents house & live somewhere else, which i dont want to as am the primary bread earner of my family.
B) I have recorded our conversations on my phone, where she sd my family & myself are good to her & its the same paternal aunt who has badmouthed her abt my family & she will not take anything lightly, if its upto her she will leave my home just now in a minute to never return back.
On couple of instances she has been voilent with me, by way of holding my neck, throwing stuff in the bedroom, which i donot have any proof to prove.
Please advise how can I save my self & my family from legal hurdles
Asked 2 years ago in Family Law from Asia/Pacific Region
1. If you want to end your marriage then you may file for divorce on the ground of cruelty against your wife. Your marriage will be a year old in about a month. Filing for divorce before a year from the date of marriage is not possible.
2. The recordings which you have in your possession can be used by you in the court subject to the contents thereof.
3. Your friendship with your ex girlfriends does not in any manner incriminate you under the law. Law does not command that a man should sever his friendship with his ex after marriage to some other woman.
4. Since she is drawing 20k a month she may not get any maintenance from the court. Getting financial support from the husband is a right given to a wife who has no income of her own.
5. It is possible that she may file a case for dowry harassment, assault, etc against you, in which event you and your family members should immediately seek anticipatory bail from the court to preempt your arrest. The recordings of the conversations wherein she can be heard speaking good about you and your family will help you in the court.
1) since you dont forsee any future with your wife file for divorce by mutual consent
2)you can if you want to save your marriage visit a marriage counsellor . if situation dosent improve file for divorce by mutual consent
3) if wife refuses divorce by mutual consent file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty . false accusations of having extra marital affairs amount to mental cruelty
4)audio recordings wherein your wife is badmouthing your family will help you in making out a case .
5)in the event your wife files 498A case against you and your family members obtain AB and contest case on merits
1. It appears that you do not have much grounds to agitate against your wife,
2. On the contrary your wife has few valid grounds to allege against you,
3. So, legally she is on stronger foundation,
4. However, you shall have to decide as to what do yoyu want finally. Do you want to continue with your relationship with your wife or terminate it,
5. If you want to continue, stop demanding emotional security from her and start giving her emotional security by avoiding chats with your old flames,
6. If you want to terminate the relationship, discuss with her and file a mutual consent divorce petetion.
There is no retakes are possible in life,s.
So, first you think about whether continue the relationship with your wife or not?
If you say you need to continue the relation, the solution is both of you better to consult clinical psychologist or marriage counselor very soon.
If you say you are not like to continue the relation, the solution is, file a joint divorce petition.
If your wife is not amenable for mutual divorce petition then file divorce petition with the help of lawyer.
Your wife can file case against you at any time, if she needed. Fight it on merits, if needed apply anticipatory bail
1) It looks like your marriage can be salvaged with proper counselling. Take your wife to a marriage counsellor of you choose to do so.
2) If not you can file for a mutually consented divorce after completion of one year of marriage.
3) In case she is unwilling to come forward for a mutually consented divorce, you can file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty. The proofs
4) In case she files any criminal complaints be prepared to take Anticipatory bail to avoid arrest.
Visit s marriage counsellor If you want to save your marriage or file for a divorce with mutual consent of your wife. You may have to pay alimony to her as agreed between you and her. Otherwise if you go for contested divorce, it could be filed either on the ground of mental cruelty or irretrievable breakdown of marriage however you will need to prove the same by showing evidence.
First of try to settle the matter amicably and file Mutual consent divorce u/s 13B of Hindu Marriage Act, if not possible then file a contested divorce against her before family court u/s 13(1)(ia) of Hindu Marriage Act and if after your divorce case she filed any false cases against you or your family then fight the case on merit and the court may presume that her cases are counterblast case after your divorce case.
Anticipatory bail may be grant to all of you
Advocate, New Delhi