The weapon what a wife will use is either suicidal drama or lodging a criminal complaint with the police agaisnt the disobedient husband.
This has become the trend of women these days to keep their husbands under their control and always try to help their parents alone.
They also will not care or bother for their parents in laws, instead they will insult and ill treat them by abuses and even physical assaults in many cases.
Well your marriage should be over a decade now and you will be having grown up children, now the future and career of your children will be at stake if you take any drastic step to divorce her.
However if you think that it will not be possible to carry on with the marital relationship with her anymore and feel that the separation will bring you relief, you may decide to either file a judicial separation petition or even a divorce petition on the grounds of cruelty.
No doubt she will retaliate by slapping criminal cases, in the form of 498a and dowry harassment cases, plus she may file DV case too, you have to take care of the repercussions as well.