My wife cheated on me but I am not sure of adultery
Me and my wife are married for 9 and half years (of course without kids). We both are living in USA but still on H1b visa and our marriage was solemnized in Mumbai India in 2005. Before Marriage my wife had a crush on one guy and she wanted to marry him however he was involved with his girl friend and though had affection towards my wife, never came forward to accept her. Then my wife (was in Mumbai) got engaged to another guy (was in USA). Their engagement lasted for 3 years. During this period that guy never came to India, perhaps my wife and her fiance started having issues over phone and eventually her fiance broke up engagement. After engagement was broken, I received proposal for marriage from my wife's family and we did some background check on why her previous engagement was broken and found incompatibility was major issue and hence I accepted her in my life. I moved to USA for job right after marriage and my wife followed me month after. I helped and supported her to pursue MS and PHD in last 9 and half year. Though my wife was married to me, she never accepted my home and my family as her family and we use to have fights over it. In 2010 situation escalated to a point where I had to slap her and she got me arrested in US for domestic violence. My case has been dismissed in 2011. Somewhere in 2012, the guy whom my wife had crush (before our marriage) got in touch with her for just casual hi/hello friendship. At that time my wife was studying in same city as my work place. However after my wife's Phd, she moved into another city for Post doctorate and we are doing long distance since then (mid-2013). My wife and that guy use to talk on the phone, chat, social media, for hours every day without my knowledge. That guy is still going around with his girl friend of 18 years without committing himself for marriage. His girl friend even tried committing suicide in Mumbai early this year. So since 2012, my wife and that guy are talking over phone in my absence and since 2013 as my wife lives in another city and we only meet over weekend, they talk to each other for hours every day during week days. I came to know all these as I found self confession note on my wife's IPad written in July 2013, December 2013, and July 2014 where she clearly stated that she is in madly and deeply love with that guy but she cannot make him her own as he is involved with his girl friend and not committing to his girl friend or my wife. My wife also confessed in her notes that she is not doing justice to me and others as she always tried comparing me with that guy and in process she is hurting our relationship and herself.
I confronted her over these and she says she wont talk to that guy anymore as she has infatuation or attractions towards her but she is not coming upfront in explaining me how deeply they were involved with each other and in process she is lying constantly to me. I am digging more and unearthing truth and only after I do so she accepts to it otherwise she is outrightly remaining in denial. She even confessed to my best friend in Mumbai over the phone (last weekend) about her affair with that guy and she apologized to my friend. She told my friend that she would do anything to make her marriage work with me but I dont trust her as she says lots of things, promises but do not fulfill her promises. She said I can go ahead and file for divorce however she wants claim in my properties. I work as Director with Fortune 26th company in the world.
While I want to work out this marriage of 9.5 years but I dont trust her anymore and I feel one day that guy will become ready for his commitment towards my wife and then she will dump me. I have helped her pursue her education. Since 2008 she is earning stipend and since 2013 she is earning good salary. She hasn't contributed a single $ towards my house or on me but yet she has transferred 20lacs odd rupees in India in her parents account since 2008.
If I need to work on divorce does her self confession note is good enough and her self confession to my friend would be good enough? I will also get phone call logs between my wife and that guy. Will I end up paying whatever claims that she is making should I decide to part my way out with her?
Asked 5 years ago in Family Law from United States
Also in 2012, 2013, and 2014 my wife visited India for a month (each time) and she met him in person. In her self confession note she has hinted that guy touched her. I dont know whether that constitutes adultery (probably not).
Asked 5 years ago
Thank you all for your prompt response. Well I am trying to work it out with my wife as Divorce is last thing I want. While I earn in tunes of $190K per annum, my wife earns $45K per annum as Post Doctorate Fellow. She is well educated and she will reach my level of income in near Future as well. I sponsored her education until MS program and PHD was funded by university with she was getting $2000 grant per month. Whatever money that she has earned so far she hasnt contributed a single penny towards house. While I dont have evidence, I have strong belief that my wife has exchanged pleasantries (electronics, watches) for that guy when she had visited India in last three years. It will be difficult for me to engage detective services as my wife is in US and that guy is in India. However I am planning to do so when my wife travels to India next time. I am also trying to gather chat (WhatsApp, FaceTime, GTalk) conversations between him and my wife. My wife has deleted it from her cell phone every time after their chat. While confronting my wife she told me that she use to inform that guy on when to have phone conversation or chat/video conversations with her. Almost whole afternoon our time, my wife and that guy use to talk to each other. My wife has also written in self confession that guy is double timing her and that guy's girl friend and my wife wants to first destroy that guy's relation with his girl friend as my wife cannot stand that girl in his life.
Just in case, either me or my wife decides to file for divorce and based on her earning ability, she wont be able to claim into my properties in US or in India correct? if things doesn't work out between us as so far she doesn't seems to have any regrets of what she has done and she will try pursuing him to commit to her I will file divorce decry in India.
If she puts up claim in my properties, will I be able to charge back her for education I provided and whatever money that she has earned while we both have been married? I am pretty sure that will reduce my compensation payout significantly if it doesn't nullify. Does her act accounts as betrayal of trust thus grounds for cruelty? how long over all process of divorce takes. I believe we will have to prove that we both are living separately for at least 6 months without any contacts correct?
Asked 5 years ago