It has been 9 years since i am married and staying with my wife and daughter only. My parents visit home ocasinally (once in 6 months). I have a girl kid of age 7 years. I am jobless since last 8 months. I was working as software architect and used to earn 2 Lacs a month. I do not have any property yet. I have saved cash which is fetching 40K as interest income to sustain. My wife is MSC BEd and had prior 1-2 years of teaching experiance. She is not working now. She is short tempered, lazy, keeps home untidy. Though she does not live with my parents but hate it when they visit my place. The reason why she hate them is that they are straight forward in talk. If the house is untidy they will comment her about it. They asked her to do job if she can. She keeps on taunting me about my parents and relatives that they are very demanding and interfering and she can't fulfil their demand. She even teach our daughter to keep away from me and talks against me and my family. She has taken these few comments so seriously and personally that she keep on repeating them sevaral times a day and it is unbearable for me to address. She had done fight with my parents and they even stopped visiting my place now. Even then she has not stopped repeating these taunting comments several times a day. I feel that she is in fit of revenge that how come my parents ask her to do job and keeps home untidy. I have already quit the high pressure job which i am unable to sustain due to mental tension at home. Even my career did not make much progress since last 4-5 years. All talks with her parents and her on the issues failed. The solution i got is to adjust according to generation thinking and ultimately suffer. I also recorded few conversation of joint discussion we had, to protect me in case of any ill intensions of her in future. Now i am so sick of it that i recently started facing chest pain due to anxiety and now hate to be at home. With all contineous taunting by her, I feel that i could not stay with her any more. I also do not want to pursue legal action against her. Also i want to protect myself by biased laws which can play against me any time. My questions are: 1. Is it wise for me to leave her and move to separate accomodation now. I will keep her giving the money and rented accomodation she need. Will it help me if she files case in 498-A or domestic voilence etc in anger/frustation. 2. Given my financial situation, what should be the decent permanent or monthly settlement amount i should look for while moving for separation/divorce.
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1) you can visit a marriage counsellor to resolve yiur differences
2) if it not possible to stay with your wife you can shift to separate accommodation and continue paying rent for the accommodation
3) in the event wife files false 498A case obtain AB and contest case on merits
4) wife who has worked in past is not entitled to maintenance . However you will have to pay for your daughter maintenance
1. Whether you stay with her or separately the rigours of section 498A is hardly avoided. If you stay separately for long then you may get bail easily. Except that there is no benefit.
2. Yes, once you get separate you should continue sending money to her regularly. This may help provided the amount is 1/3 -1/5th of your income to which she is entitled to. If the amount is not that much then again she can file such cases.
3. The permanent settlement amount differs from person to person and if it is settled mutually then there is no fixed formula.
you can give monthly or permanent (one time) settlement for her maintenance. you cannot live separately without having reasonable cause. if there is such cause then it will create these situation :
1. after 2 year she can get divorce on the ground of desertion.
2. after 1 year you both can take mutual divorce
3. you may be prosecuted for cruelty u/s 498 A IPC & for domestice violence
4. she can file maintenance case u/s 125 crpc
so it is better for u to file divorce case.
1. You are free to take up separate residence from her. This, however, will not have a bearing on 498A case which you will have to contest on merits.
2. If she files for maintenance then your liability may be up to 1/3rd of your income. You may successfully contest her claim if you can prove that she abandoned her matrimonial home without a justified cause or is earning on her own.
Dear Querist
My opinion on your queries are as under:
1. Is it wise for me to leave her and move to separate accomodation now. I will keep her giving the money and rented accomodation she need. Will it help me if she files case in 498-A or domestic voilence etc in anger/frustation
Opinion: first of all file a complaint before Mediation center of your state for conciliation with her and after that decide what do you want? execute a MOU with her with all the terms and conditions and live your life peacefully
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2. Given my financial situation, what should be the decent permanent or monthly settlement amount i should look for while moving for separation/divorce.
Opinion: if she is unable to maintain herself then 1/3 of your income may be grant as maintenance to her by court, it will be better to settled the matter amicably and Execute a MOU with all the terms and condition.
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1. Is it wise for me to leave her and move to separate accomodation now. I will keep her giving the money and rented accomodation she need. Will it help me if she files case in 498-A or domestic voilence etc in anger/frustation.
Yes you can live separately away from her either on your own or by filing a judicial separation petition before court. You take precaution when she files criminal complaint against you as a measure of revenge on you.
2. Given my financial situation, what should be the decent permanent or monthly settlement amount i should look for while moving for separation/divorce.
You can give a reasonable amount towards her maintenance and for your daughter's expenses on your own considering the present day's cost of living or allow her to file a maintenance case against you and let the court decide based on the arguments from both the sides.
I am not in hurry to get divorce. Please suggest on following: 1. Is getting a judicial separation also a time taking process as divorce? 2. Do i need to fight case to get that or it can be done without involvement of other party (what support is required by other party)? 3. Also, i am jobless since last 8 months due to high pressure job i could not handle. Now how much money i should look for giving her as maintenance (I used to earn 2 lacs a month 8 month back). 30% of that i can't afford now as i am jobless and there is no possibility to get similar package job in near future. Please suggest.
1 Yes, it takes same time and procedure.
2. It is same like divorce suit and hence you have make your wife party to this suit.
3. Unemployment is no excuse. The amount if maintenance differs from 1/3 to 1/5th.
1) obtaining order for judicial separation is also time consuming
2) you will have to serve your wife copy of petition and if she contests it would be long drawn affair
3) if wife makes application for maintenance you will have to pay her maintenance as per court orders . It would depend whether your wife is working or not and your income . If you are jobless court would not award substantial amount as maintenance
1. Judicial separation is only a paper tiger and serves no purpose except if you are really looking forward to buy time to reconcile the differences.
2. Even a jobless is to maintain his wife by begging or borrowing money.
1. Is getting a judicial separation also a time taking process as divorce?
Yes it is another case and a due process of law which will take its own time.
2. Do i need to fight case to get that or it can be done without involvement of other party (what support is required by other party)?
It is another regular case. The court will decide only after hearing both the sides.
3. Also, i am jobless since last 8 months due to high pressure job i could not handle. Now how much money i should look for giving her as maintenance (I used to earn 2 lacs a month 8 month back). 30% of that i can't afford now as i am jobless and there is no possibility to get similar package job in near future.
The above fact can be put forth before court when she is filing a case for maintenance, dont rush up with the query now itself.