Legal advice - relationship breakup
Hope you are doing well... I'm writing this email to understand the Law and how anything can affect me or my family members. Please , please be patient and read this and I apologize for any mistakes in typing….
I got into a relationship with a Girl last year May. It is just going to be a year now. There has been so many things that has happened till now.. Most importantly she was not honest with me from beginning until Dec 2014, I found her cheating on me myself many times and yet I use to forgive and kept giving her chance. But I chose to leave Chennai and go to Bangalore for better prospects in terms of Career.
She was rushing me and taking this relationship too fast, within 2 months she had me introduced to her relatives as boyfriend. Last year during August I happen to attend her sister’s marriage, I had told her not to introduce me to her relatives as her boyfriend yet, it was ok if she only told her parents but instead she made it public. And after few days I found her cheating on me, I happen to see her conversation with two other guys( flirty guys )… so I told her lets end it, and I was in my native at that time with my parents, but she kept calling, crying and saying that she will not cheat on me again. I spoke to my parents about her and my parents instantly said no to the relationship.. I told this to her and she Kept crying and after few minutes she posted our relationship status on Facebook without asking me and made it even more public where my relatives and everyone else got to know.. It created a lot of problems between my parents, brother & me.. My father stopped talking to me after that.. I kept telling her this is not going to work out and my parents will not agree. But because she knew my weakness & that I’m sensitive person she kept hanging on to me by holding on to my emotions. So she convinced me stating we can convince my father and mother and it is just matter of time we need to give, I fell for those words.. I agreed, again the same repeated in November, I spoke to and tried convincing my parents again about this and they said NO. I told the same to her and she said we will give a little more time and then try for one last time. I agreed. Her parents are very well aware about all the above things; I never lied to her parents about anything.
Now, I did a mistake in between, by coming back to Chennai from Bangalore on her request and of course my interest too. But I clearly told her that I’m not going to stay in her house and I will stay separately in a PG. but she insisted me to stay there. I was clear about not staying in her home. , but unfortunately I met with an accident while on my way to Chennai and was not in a position to walk for 20+ days …. So she had me stay with her parents and her for 3 months… I was not feeling comfortable, and tried to move to PG , but by that time she received a lawyer notice stating she had to make payments to the Bank around Rs40,000 immediately, I felt sad and took her problem as priority and arranged some money for this ( this wasn’t the first time I’m helping her with money related things) and so I did not move to PG, I did not have an option. But in the month of April I finally managed to move out of their house...
Now, my mistake is that I did not inform my parents about the relocation because if I did they surely will oppose and not allow me to go back to Chennai. The girl, her mother, her sister , her brother-in-law , all of them were aware of entire situation except for her father , they always kept her father in Dark side, never told him anything… Now, I recently again went and spoke to my parents about her trying to convince them... But this time my father & mother made it crystal clear that they will not allow and if I go against them it will affect them very badly. My parents spoke very openly to me this time and told me how they had to suffer for me and that my father’s heart is weak. I felt very bad and I came and told her and her family about the situation. They at once got angry and asked me one close ended question, “Are you going to marry her if your parents doesn’t agree or no ? I said I cannot do this at the stake of my father‘s life. And after that they started to threaten me, blackmail me stating I have to marry her because I finished staying in their house with all of them. I thought of ending my life as I felt I was cornered and somehow they understood it, so her mother asked me to take her to my parents… I immediately booked tickets hoping that at least if I take her, she will understand …. My parents met and decently said NO to this and left.. She threatened me to marry her daughter and said I finished staying in her house and that I have to marry her. I don’t know if this is planned by them, but she took some overdose of Citrizen tablet ( for Cold and Head ache ) and got admitted in the hospital. I went there knowing there is a threat to my life.. I didn’t care, because my intentions were honest.. So I went..!! Now again her mother and the Girl is threatening me and trying to wash my brain stating my father and mother will be alright even if I go against them.
Honestly, I’m starting to hate her family and not to like her from past few months as they are very selfish, criminal/evil minded people…. Whenever they are having any arguments with somebody they first threaten that person , record the calls etc etc.. I have seen myself.. I don’t want to marry her and later suffer by losing my parents and not just that , their family is very cunning and smart, and she is somebody who keeps changing colours ( I cannot trust her completely )… What if I have to marry and everything becomes chaos and I have to divorce her.. it will even more bad than what it is now… please advise if they can go in legally any ways and how beneficial it is for them or me…
Asked 3 years ago in Family Law from Hong Kong
1) you cant be forced to marry the girl against your wishes
2) you are at liberty to break off relationship
3)gather evidence of her affairs with other men
4) i presume you have not made any promise of marriage
5) if your girl friend files case against you of rape contest it on merits
6) consensual sex is not rape
7) obtain anticipatory Bail from court in case FIR is filed against you
Your problem is created by you and you only have to solve it. If you don't want to marry this girl, no one can forcibly do so. Stay away from them if you don't like them. You have described mainly about the girl and her family member's nature in your mail. What exactly was your relation with this female? Try to focus on the legal issues so that we can provide solution for them.
Thank you for your quick responses..
Ma'am and Sir,
I'm not trying to corner or only talk from my own perspective. My relation with the girl was true by all means..
She has pictures of we going to Cafe-day,family function pics in which i'm present, and she has her relatives support stating i was in relationship with her which even my parents are aware of... Now, from the way i see it, my mistake is that I stayed with their family members due to circumstances that i have mentioned in my previous mail becuase of which i was not able to move instantly out of their house... But i have been there for them in all ways possible which even her mother agrees ... I have taken care of them well until i was there... Always been polite and caring..!! Even now when i took her mother to my native to meet my parents , she did not tell them that i stayed there and she herself told me later, if she says that way, my parents will think bad about them stating how can they do this without talking to my parents...?
Now they are saying they will lodge a complaint stating the girl attempted to commit suicide because I'm not agreeing to marry her. . Please advise
Asked 3 years ago
1) in the event any case is filed by girl and her parents obtain anticipatory bail from court
2) your defence should be no promise for marraige was made
3) it was consensual sex and you broke off because she was involved with 2 other guys
4) your case should be that girl attempted suicide as she was suffering from depression had sudden mood swings and needs medical treatment for her illness
5) I do hope your story that you never promised her marriage is true and also that she had affair with 2 other guys during your relationship
The evidences in their possession will not be sufficient enough for them to prove the alleged cheating however nothing will restrict the corrupt police to register FIR on the basis of her complaint when she or her relatives bribe the police ad the section will be 417 IPC, depending on her complaint, they may even register rape offence against you.
You have take stock of the situation, if no compromise works, with the help of local lawyer take precautions vide obtaining anticipatory bail and challenge her case in the court.
No one can force for marriage. Do your really love that girl? Actually your stay at her house created trust and relationship on her parents. They may felt that you would marry their girl. If they found their expectations going in hell they will file cases against you. If you would not like to marry that girl, you will reveal all the things to your parents and getting their support in this problem. Her suicidal attempt or threat is a good for evidence. The same time you can expect false intimidation and rape cases. Your girlfriend is manipulating your emotions. It is a very evil thing. What you need to do is say good bye to her, and makes it a very definite final good bye. The first step is to realize that her threats of ending life are not because of you. These are primarily due to the difficulties and trauma she has faced in life before she met you.
You will take anticipatory bail if they file false case. Defense all the case on merit.
1. Staying in the house of your gf's parents does not legally obligate you to marry her.
2. It is time you tell her unequivocally that you are not going to marry her (if this is what you want).
3. She may file a case for cheating or rape against you if a physical relationship had been established, but you will be able to contest her case in the court by entering your defence.
1. If she commits suicide you may be prosecuted for her suicide. Short of suicide, she may prosecute you for cheating. These are all consequences which are always knocking at the door for a boy who gets a gf like the one you had.
2. There is nothing you need to be afraid of as the court will not accept her case as the gospel truth. You will be given abundant opportunity to contest her case.
3. Disassociate yourself completely from her lest you invite more legal trouble for yourself.