What are my legal obligations and rights
I am a Canadian Citizen and on a recent trip to India,I met, fell in love with, agreed to marry and engaged in intercourse. Due to sudden illness and change in my travel plans we were unable to discuss details of next steps. Although, we discussed having a civil ceromony and/or he mentioned a temple near Delhi where we could be married, we did not go and have the actual marriage ceremony. we did however both commit to each other, verbally and physically. We engaged in intercourse and did spend 2 nights together in a hotel. He did share that he was not sure how to tell his family as he was to be engaged, and as I was older than him and divorced, it would be more difficult. He told me that he would just have to tell them. we both professed our love for each other. He did tell the other girl, that he could not go through with the engagement and wedding, as it would be unfair since he was in love with me. She continued to beg him to please just still go through with the engagement and wedding to her. Prior to having intercourse the first time, I stopped several times, and asked repeatedly if he was sure, and that we could not undo the act once completed. At one point he even became frustrted and commented as to why I was so concerned about everyone else, and weather I wa sure about being with him. We shared several days and a few nights together. After, the first time, we continued to enjoy each other, and spoke about and acted as if we were husband and wife. We had spoken about, how even though I was from Canada, I still had very traditional beliefs, and I had told him, that despite my past I had not been intimate with a man in over 5years. The morning after, as we had not use protection (after the first time), we had repeated encounters. I asked him to get the morning after pill as I was not on any birth control and could have conceived. Later that evening, I spoke to him about how I felt, and how, if he truly wanted to be with me and he considered me his wife, then there should have been no reason for me to ask, or him to get the morning after pill or any other birth control, as getting pregnant was a good thing for a married couple. I was previously married but had been divorced for several years and He was also aware of my status, and I even informed him that I had my divorce documents with me, as I was travelling with my child from the previous marriage. Since returning to Canada, he has been very distant, and despite my asking him a few times if this was "just a fling", his response was always that he love me and wanted to make a life with me. About a week after my return as my period had not come, I took a pregnancy test (actually several), and learned that I am pregnant. I have been unable to communicate the pregnancy with him, as he seems to be avoiding me. I do not want to cause trouble for him, I know how difficult it is to walk away from family and obligation in India, but I recently was reviewing requirements for OCI/PIO applications as I am planning to return to India for the schooling of my child, and came across the new marital law with regards to premarital sex and marriage. I am concerned that do I need to register the marriage and then get a divorce? Can I just not register the marriage, I was just planning to avoid further contact,as it is emotionally difficult for me, but now I am so confused. I thought that as he is young and the eldest son, it would be easier for me to just walk away, and let him be happy. Let him get engaged to the girl his family has found for him, and in time he would forget about us. I could see how he was being torn apart by the choice, I could not stand to see the pain and anguish this situation was causing him. Now my concern is that I do not want to ruin hos life or cause him any trouble. I figured that I would just go to my OB here in Canada, and discuss aborting the child (I feel that it is the only way). I still have to put his name down and cannot lie about how or with whom as such there will be a record of this. Also, as this occurred in New Delhi, India, do I have any obligation to inform him about the pregnancy and would that give him any legal rights over the child or the decision. I am prepared to accept the consequences of my actions, I am not familiar with the laws and requirements of India, and as such do not want to unknowingly cause him or his family or the young woman he is to marry any problems. I am undergoing the process of applying for OCI status, and am afraid that I will not be able to lie or hide the pregnancy, even with my intent to terminate the pregnancy as soon as possible. I feel that there will still be a record of my recent visit to India, the hotel records, and my own medical records, where I have to tell the Doctor the truth. Can you please advise as to what I should do? is there a form or letter I can sign or have him sign that would free him an me? I really do not want him to have to explain all this to his family, and be faced with the stigma of divorce, if it can be avoided. thanks
Asked 4 years ago in Family Law from New Delhi, Delhi
what exaclty are you planning,is he serious about marrying you and lead a matrimonial life with you or not,if he is not serious to live with you ,then what do you plan do ,do you want to initiate legal proceedings against him or not .kindly explain what do you exactly looking at
Advocate, New Delhi
As I asked in my original question. My intention is to let him get engaged and married to the girl his family has chosen. I just wanted to ensure that due to the new law with regards to premarital sex and marriage, are we obligated to register the marriage and seek annulment or divorce, or can we just not do anything? Also, what can be done so that neither one of us can make a claim against the other in the future. I am going to have the pregnancy terminated, but as there will be record of him as bio father in the medical records in Canada, I was unsure of the legal impact.
My OCI/PIO status is not connected to this except for the timing of it. I believe that he does not have any intention to follow through on making a life with me. As such, I want to ensure that he is free to go through with the engagement and wedding as planned with the other girl? I do not want that he and his family should be caused any harm or embarrassment. So if there is something I need to file or have done so that he does not have to be worried or stressed. If there is then how quickly can it be done and what fees are involved.
Asked 4 years ago
pls under stand that by sexual intercourse you does not become a wife of some body.you become wife only by marriage and it could be any marriage ,you may have sexual intercourse with number of persons ,and if you get pregnant it does not mean that you will have to give the name of his biological father,there are lots of people who are involved in pre sex ,which does not mean if a lady gets pregnant she has to give a name
Advocate, New Delhi
You don't have to do anything in order to free him of his conduct with you. Just forget what happened . If you are going for MTP, it is your choice. Why you have to give the name of the bio-father at the time of MTP? In India an unmarried girl got impregnated without a wedlock can go for MTP without any hassles.
Advocate, New Delhi
before you take any drastic steps of abortion inform your lover that you are pregnant . ask him to inform you whehter he wants to marry you or not . if refuses to marry you and you dont want the child go in for abortion . if on other hand he is willing to marry you keep the child .
first, I asked for a legal opinion not a moral judgement. I am asking as I came across articles talking about a ruling of the High Court/ new marriage law in 2013, in which a male over 21 and female over 18, who engage in premarital sex, are deemed married and would require a divorce prior to remarrying. I want to know how to legally protect myself and him, so that neither can make claim against the other. I just want this whole thing behind me.
Asked 4 years ago
the judgement you are talking about is of madras high court wherein it was held that premarital sex amounts to marriage . in the said case the man had officially admitted that the woman was his wife, by signing the ‘live birth report’ of his second child and giving his consent for a Caesarean section for the birth. the said judgement is distinguishable . in your case you merely had sex by consent .
by no stretch of imagination consensual sex amounts to marriage . you don't require divorce prior to remarriage . times have changed . what earlier was taboo is the norm .
please note that in said case the couple had live in relationship for 5 years and lady sued her lover for maintenance for their 2 children which he refused to pay . it is in these circumstances and after considering various facts on record the court held that live in relationship for 5 years was tantamount to being wed . in your case your relationship lasted for merely few days . it would not amount to marriage
Pre marital sex with the mutual consent of man and woman does not in law tantamount to marriage. We are living in 2014 not 1947. Pre marital sex is accepted legally and socially in India. By having pre marital sex a man and woman do not incur any liability to enter into a matrimony, so much so that it is absolutely legal for a man and woman to have pre marital sex and then part ways without assigning any reason. Moreover, your relationship lasted for barely a few days. Hence, it cannot be inferred that you married him.
Unless and until you give birth to the child conceived from intercourse you had with your lover no issues will legally arise for your lover.
The ruling that you mentioned operates in a different field of law, and is not applicable to your case as therein the man had consented to accepting the lady as his wife.
premarital sex with mutual consent between the two adults i.e above 18 years of age is not an offence. You may go for MTP at your instance and don't have to ask him if you have decided to part your ways from him.