• Domestic issues because of sister-in-law

This is regarding a domestic problem at home. I am speaking on behalf of my parents. I am married and stay with my wife and parents. I have an younger brother and he is married and stays with us. 
 My brother has a 2 year old child. All of us stay together.

Problems:
1. Ever since my brother got married there has been a lot of issues because of his wife (my sister-in-law). She is quite out spoken and blunt. Her words are quite disrespectful and demeaning. We have tried to explain to her and she never agrees to her mistakes and it ends up in big bad fight. 

2. As a daughter-in-law she should respect and obey my parents. But if my parents give her any advise or suggestion, she purposely goes against it - be it in cooking or in maintaining her room or house etc... This stubbornness is very disrespectful. She never takes part in house hold activities -
 it is as if she comes to her office, works and goes back to her room. There is no emotional connect at all. Again, every time we point her mistake out, her ego gets hurt and it ends up in a big fight. 

3. Moreover, she complains about us to her mother and tells her the wrong story. It appears as if we are troubling her, but that is false, instead we are tolerating her. Her parents have blamed my parents and accused them of harassing her daughter. we have had multiple arguments with her parents and no compromise happened. I believe her parents have spoilt her and have not educated her properly on such matters. They support her and here she is not learning and growing as family member.

4. I am worried that my parents are getting harassed as they dont want any legal or social issues, so they try to tolerate what ever she says, but i am against it. Because of this my brother and i have fought and my wife & his wife have fought. and it is a very toxic relationship now.

5. Now, recently she has accused my parents of not taking care of the child properly and that they think the child is a burden on them and threatened us that she will take the child and go off to her Mother's house. My brother is in a consultant job and he is traveling most of the time. He is also ignorant of her behavior in his absence. however, he is aware of the toxicity..

5. My parents dont want us to separate and we cant live together also. If only my sister-in-law can change her attitude, life will be different and better. But we dont have any evidences to prove this. What is right and what is wrong? whose mistake it is? we dont want to file any complaint as it will only make it worse. 

What can i do to solve this once for all? I dont want her to take any step against us - as i am sure she will be favored in this case. Can i arrange for an legal arbitrator to intervene and arrange for a discussion? what if she lies and denies everything? my parents are old and they dont want all this, but it is unavoidable cos of my sister-in-laws attitude - I want to fight this and find a permanent solution.
Asked 4 years ago in Family Law
Religion: Hindu

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18 Answers

1) best option is for your brother and his wife to stay separate in rented flat near your parents residence

2) it would insulate you and your family members to some extent in case false DV case, dowry harassment case is filed

3)in the vent false dowry harassment case is filed apply for and obtain Ab from sessions court

4) your parents can obtain court order to direct brother and DIL to vacate portion of house in their possession and seek permanent injunction restraining them from disturbing their possession of the house

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
87917 Answers
6207 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Hi,

If you wish to stop all this which is inbuilt in her nature and because of her upbringing.

The solution is not legal in this case but to do some family adjustment.

I don't know the family status but instead of reporting the matter of cruelty in police please just keep them separate and watch if thing improve.

Vimlesh Prasad Mishra
Advocate, Lucknow
6848 Answers
23 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

Sir either you have option to make separate residence for yourself and your parents or you can just sort out matter through a third person. Since your younger brother is supporting her and had fight with you better you people get your property divided and stay separately and peacefully so that in future she don't put any case of harassment against you or your parents.

Swarnarka Chowdhury
Advocate, Mysore
1878 Answers
5 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1) For family dispute to resolve arranging arbitrators is costly procedure, instead you can arrange for family counselor.

2) See what decision counselor gives.

Ganesh Kadam
Advocate, Pune
12335 Answers
191 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

Instead of a lawyer, I will advise you to approach a relationship/family counsellor.

Conflicts in a joint family can be eased out/avoided with the help of an expert psychologist having of experience of counselling family members on on Family & Joint Family Conflicts.

Vibhanshu Srivastava
Advocate, New Delhi
9426 Answers
245 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Hello Mr. A

I have gone through your mail. I understand your family problem. Its very nice decision which taken by you as well as of your other family members not to approached any of the court or any police to resolve your family problems. As you know once you people will approached the police or court the family environment and difference and disharmony will further create issues and problems in your family. The door of court is open for every one but we should take the shelter the court of police wherein the limit has cross and there is no solution to resolve the problem. I guess you are well aware that the Hon'ble Supreme Court of India has established Mediation Center in every State in India to settle dispute amicably which includes disputes and differences in matrimonial nature. I would like to advice you that in your family there may be lots of problems from your sister in law part. But emphasis has to be seen from your sister in law behalf also, I mean to say that her problem also has to be consider so that entire family dispute can be resolve amicably. I would say your family required counselling to resolve these issue. am a matrimonial counsellor, if needs my services to resolve the dispute I can give the counselling to your family as well as your sister in law along with the parant's of your sister in law as well.

The problem which you have mentioned in the mail are in general in nature, the same can be resolve by way of counselling.

Regards

G.L.Soni

Advocate

G. L. Soni
Advocate, New Delhi
87 Answers
3 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

In matrimonial disputes, no arbitrator or counsellor shall resolve the issue, unless the spouses mutually agree, resolve the difference and lead the life happily by forgetting the events happened in the day and enjoy their beautiful night. Such events are amiss amongst couples nowadays which leads to marital discord and divorce. If she is keen to have a separate house, then your brother has to arrange and all of you should be happy to arrange such a facility to see your brother smiling forever. If you let this to aggravate, it will snowball and lead to filing of complaints and legal disputes. Therefore, speak to your brother and in law, get the issue resolved amongst yourselves without inviting anyone.

Rajaganapathy Ganesan
Advocate, Chennai
2085 Answers
8 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

Hello,

If you do not wish to take any legal step at this juncture then I would advise you to meet some counselor, who may take some sessions and may solve the issue accordingly.

Legal arbitrator can not be appointed.

see if there is some good counselor in your city, who can be of good help to you.

Regards

Anilesh Tewari
Advocate, New Delhi
17940 Answers
377 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

What can i do to solve this once for all? I dont want her to take any step against us - as i am sure she will be favored in this case. Can i arrange for an legal arbitrator to intervene and arrange for a discussion? what if she lies and denies everything? my parents are old and they dont want all this, but it is unavoidable cos of my sister-in-laws attitude - I want to fight this and find a permanent solution.

The joint family is not possible these days due to various circumstances.

The peaceful solution to this is to have a nuclear family or get separated and live with their own families instead of facing problems in day to day affairs too.

Before she takes a decision to lodge any complaint against everyone, the situation should be brought under control and the suggested step is that the families should be separated and live with their own family.

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
78070 Answers
1543 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

You can try resolving the same keeping both her and your elderly family members in form of meeting. You don't have any other option for amicable settlement of the said issue.

Prashant Nayak
Advocate, Mumbai
27247 Answers
88 Consultations

4.4 on 5.0

Dear Sir,

Your parents and your family are under danger zone. Get immediately separated from the family of your brother and protect yourself from facing any untoward incidents and cases that your sister-in-law may file.

Kishan Dutt Kalaskar
Advocate, Bangalore
6050 Answers
381 Consultations

4.8 on 5.0

Try to mend her mind slowly.if you feel unconvinced with her attitude better to separate her with your brother or involve elders

P V Reddy
Advocate, Hyderabad
422 Answers
3 Consultations

4.2 on 5.0

1) Yes!!! Counselor will listen every thing and can guide you and your family. You can arrange a counselling by appointing family court counselor of your city.

Ganesh Kadam
Advocate, Pune
12335 Answers
191 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

1) best option is for brother to stay separate with his wife and son

2) rented flat should be near parents place so that your brother can visi his parents often and your parents can also meet their grand child

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
87917 Answers
6207 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Hello

I know you all are in tension and facing great trauma in the house. But you have to take a decision to resolve it. There is no harm at all while giving counselling to you as well as your sister in law along with her parent's. I know it is difficult to comment whether she would be ready or not. But positive thinking should be keep in mind while initiating welfare work for family. Its up to you whether you wants to take counselling or not.

Regars

G.L.soni

G. L. Soni
Advocate, New Delhi
87 Answers
3 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

If the family wants to remain united then the best option before you is to allow them to live separately.

This kind of situation will disturb the peace of everyone in the household.

What is your problem to allow them to live a life of their own?

In my opinion, before the things go out of control it would be better that they may be asked to live separately outside your home.

This would enable you to avoid facing any litigation and also would help to save their marriage.

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
78070 Answers
1543 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1. yes a family counselor at times can make you arrive at such conclusion which are effective in saving the family.

if she is still disinterested then you can ask her to take divorce mutually, if she does not agrees to the same then goo ahead and file a divorce on the ground of cruelty.

Regards

Anilesh Tewari
Advocate, New Delhi
17940 Answers
377 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Yes, the family counsellor can be helpful even this scenario.

He may suggest ways to improve this after reading the psychology of the parties involved in this matrimonial dispute.

Vibhanshu Srivastava
Advocate, New Delhi
9426 Answers
245 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

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