• Legal advice related to marriage separation

Hi,

I got married on 26th January 2014. It is an arranged marriage. Our married relation worked for around 2 months. During this period only, my mother in law started interfering in our relation. She basically denied my husband to take up my responsibility and he did the same.When i initiated talks with my husband regarding the same he took it in negative way. The entire family including the son, mother and father came to my parents home and abused me a lot. They blamed me for not giving money at home inspite of the fact that they told me not to give, misconduct, not giving full attention to their son. Being a working lady with working shifts from 9:30 to 6:00 and being out of home for more than 12 hrs, i expected cooperation from my spouse. Keeping the time constrain, i cannot handle everything myself. But that was used against me, saying that he wanted an independent woman to handle her life by herself. He cannot take care of my needs. After this thing, when i returned back to my in laws place, i got to know about affair of my husband with a colleague working with him in the bank on the same designation - Marketing Manger. I used to hear prompting by a female generally during post lunch phone calls by him. I used to take them lightly. I got some photographs and few call recordings related to why he is not marrying her and she demanding him to be with her and he saying yes to that. Before opening this thing to him i  shared this thing with my brother and he just to clarify their relationship observed both of them. My brother found that their behavior was simply not of that of friends. I personally opened this thing to him and his family. Even my family talked to his family regarding the same. After that few months were ok for our relationship. But again that girl came into picture. I saw both of them chatting on whats app day and night whenever they use to get time. That girl had already blocked my whats app no but was using my fathers no to tack them. After few days observation of their online patterns i was sure that they both are chatting. I did not had access to phone he never kept his phone away from him and also it was pin locked. So what i decided to take snaps of their whats app account to capture their online patterns. Along with that i gave my best to get closer to him and drive her out of our life. But i failed to do so. At times when i used to initiate conversation and did not get appropriate response from him, i used to feel that he is giving more importance to an outsider than me i used to tell him that we need to communicate more and understand each other better. For that he used to say u r blaming me for everything and m not solely responsible for all this. Around 2 months later his father was detected with brain tumor grade IV. At this time also my mother in law blamed that this disease is due to tension and am the reason for the tension in the house. Before surgery my father in law shared with my father about the conduct of his son to my father. That time my father said that still chats are going between his son and the girl, which in turn was conveyed to the him. He has taken these incidences on his ego and he is being supported by his entire family ie mother, sister, sisters husband and the father too who is ill. He is now demanding a peaceful separation. Though i dont want to quite but he is not willing to be in this relationship. He is saying that if i will create hurdles in separation he is also not willing to take divorce. All these things are not in the notice of their relatives. How should i tackle this situation. I am feeling helpless at this point of time. Plz guide.
Asked 2 years ago in Family Law from New Delhi, Delhi
Religion: Hindu
You both beed to visit a marriage counsellor to settle ur issues peacefully because simply staying separated without fulfilling each other obligation so that he can be with the other girl peacefully is not a solution.  So divorce is not the   option.  Speak with the other girl who is not ready to let your life go on nicely. May be that may solve your issue.

If divorce is not an option then better visit a counsellor and settle down your issues peacefully
Shaveta Chaudhary (Sanghi)
Advocate, Chandigarh
821 Answers
60 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
1) it is best to obtain divorce by mutual consent 

2) since your husband is having an affair with another office colleague h does not want to stay with you any more . 

3) since you are working you wont get maintenance . 

4) consult a local lawyer have consent terms prepared regarding return of your streedhan , alimony etc . 

5) if you dont want divorce you can file case of adultery against him if you have evidence of his relationship ,

6) you can also file case of DV against him and seek right to stay in matrimonial home and compensation for mental torture undergone by you
Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
23351 Answers
1221 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
Hi, it is better both of you go for an marriage counselor for counseling so that both of you can save the marriage and both of you are not willing to take divorce and you have put your best effort to save your marriage tried once before marriage counselor.
Pradeep Bharathipura
Advocate, Bangalore
4105 Answers
133 Consultations
4.3 on 5.0
Hi, with out your consent he will not get divorce so you can tried to negotiate with him and I hope you will succeed.
Pradeep Bharathipura
Advocate, Bangalore
4105 Answers
133 Consultations
4.3 on 5.0
1) you can file for restitution for conjugal rights if  you dont want divorce . 

2) you can contest divorce proceedings if you so desire .
Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
23351 Answers
1221 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
1. Apply to a government sponsored mediation center to reconcile the differences between you and your husband. Alternatively, you and your husband may visit a marriage counselor. 

2. If reconciliation is not possible then it is in mutual interest of both spouses to amicably separate by filing for mutual divorce.

3. Legally speaking, your options include the right to file a case for adultery against your husband on account of his extra marital affair with his colleague. 

4. If there is a contested divorce you wont get any maintenance as you are a working lady. 

5. You cannot be removed from your matrimonial house by your husband. If you apprehend your husband and/or his family will oust you from the matrimonial house then seek a restraint order from the court.
Ashish Davessar
Advocate, Jaipur
18183 Answers
449 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
Do not go to the court at this stage. Apply for mediation or visit a marriage counsellor along with your husband to iron out your differences. Your marriage is in infancy and may be saved.
Ashish Davessar
Advocate, Jaipur
18183 Answers
449 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
Hi,
you can file a divorce on grounds of cruelty and adultery after one year of completion of the marriage .
Once you initiate a divorce proceedings then there is no chance of  getting back to the marriage .
so see whether there is any way to get him to talk to a marriage counselor, or a mediation with a common friend or relative.
If he agrees for a mutual consent divorce think about that ,as the life just started and this stage of your marriage unfaithfulness is  a sure sign of future breakdown of the relationship. So  you have to take a decision.
Adultery can be charged on him under penal law , if the lady is married .Otherwise extra marital relationship is treated as only in divorce court as a ground.

If you feel there is no hope in going soft on him ,take strict legal steps filing a498A, domestic violence case, seeking a residence order, so that you can stay in the matrimonial home.Do all this if you do not wish to be in the marriage where your future happiness is bleak. 
It is advisable to get out of this relationship when you realize that your spouse is committed to someone other than you. Do not waste your life and get into more unhappiness and stress,talk with your family and take a decision to move on and take him out of his life.
S J Mathew
Advocate, Mumbai
1953 Answers
65 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
1. Yours is more a relational problem than a legal issue,

2. From the facts stated above by you, your husband can not be charged with the offence of adultery,

3. It seems that both of you did not gel togerher for which your marriage did not click,

4. Talk to your husband and try for a fresh start if he agrees,

5. Otherwise decide whether you will agree for continuing with this relationship or not.
Krishna Kishore Ganguly
Advocate, Kolkata
12131 Answers
233 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
1. A man is expected to have ego which is also expected to get hurt,

2. May be time will heal his wound,

3. Bear with him till he cools down,

4. There is nothing you can do against/with him legally at this stage.
Krishna Kishore Ganguly
Advocate, Kolkata
12131 Answers
233 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0

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