Forcing for mutual

I am 30. husband is 31. He is forcing me to file a mutual divorce and we have been living separate for 5months now. I do not want to file for divorce before trying to salvage it as there are no proper grounds. I lost a child and my father within 6 months and acted out badly. That is his reason. Secondly, He has decided to wait it out till i get frustrated enough to sign mutual because he doesnt want to file for divorce alone. I am not ready to give up but also, I am not earning well. He is a marine enggineer and had forced me to leave my job. I have just restarted few months before he decided to leave me. I earn only 16000 a month, while he earns 4 lakhs plus he is being promoted so his salary will go higher. I am struggling to even maintain our joint acnt with a minimum bal of 10000 which he refuses to close. He is waiting for me to get fedup basically. So is there anyway, I can come out of this with a good alimony if i file first.. as with mutual, he is also insisting on a single lawyer only and I dont trust his lawyer.