My brother is alcoholic , who lives at home, is abusive to my mum.
He is 21, has no money or friends, but won’t take any responsibility for his life, always playing the victim.
I am the eldest of three children of a single mother,my dad (2019) passed away because of his mental torture from my brother. I have a sister who is married and a brother, who is the third child. He is now 21, but does not have a career, friends or money and have few criminal records. He still lives at home with our mother and does not contribute to bills.
Our mother worked hard for us and we never went without. There were money problems, My brother, however, plays the victim card. For example, he blames my mum and dad for everything.
When he is around non-family members, he is charming but with us he is rude and aggressive. He shouts at and abuses my mum, and my biggest fear is that he will physically torture her.
As a family we have offered to pay for counselling (he refused), we have given him money and bought him things. But he doesn’t appreciate it. He seems to think he has suffered some kind of injustice in life. He doesn’t take any responsibility for his life and even now will say that his predicament is everyone else’s fault. He refers to things that happened years ago, and makes things up from the past to justify his victim status. He will say that we ruined his life and it’s because he did what we “wanted”.
He has been given opportunities to live away from home, but refuses. He lives with my mum while resenting and blaming her.
I have told my mum to kick him out, but she is reluctant. I don’t know how to make her be stronger. He acts like a baby, so she treats him like one. She was not this soft on the rest of us, especially me. I no longer speak to my brother.
I have said my mum should say that he should have therapy or move out. If he ends up on the streets, so be it. We have tried for years. I am sick of it. My mum is in her 50s. She no longer has the strength for the arguments.