Alimony, maintenance, Mutual or Contested Divorce

Married since 19 years and have 2 boys aged 16 and 12. She stayed alone for 2 months at my parents place after marriage and thereafter joined me. My Mom in those 2 months had to teach my wife a lot of things and also make her adapt to our ways and culture, which did not go too well with my wife. We have had constant disagreements, quarrels, fights and arguments over these issues and the matter has only worsened over the years. She has been accusing, abusing and insulting me and my parents even in front of my kids and holding them responsible for everything wrong that happens. Over the last 19 years we have visited my place around 9 times for a month during the vacations till 2009, every small issue during this time has been blown out of proportion, my wife has been nagging it to the extent that she has a lot of hatred in her towards my family specially my mother. She has been accusing me of not supporting her. She has been bad mouthing about the entire family to her friends, relatives and social circle, who in turn have been mocking and making fun of me and my family and when confronted she says all females do this its normal. She has been discussing our private bedroom life with her friends and my female office colleagues and when confronted she says its girl talk. She has been discussing family matters outside. She was working till the birth of my elder son and thereafter quit. She has been accusing me of quitting her job and make her sit at home, take care of the kids and be financially dependent. I am a graduate and she is a diploma holder she always told me she is more educated and qualified and I planned to derail her career by making her a homemaker since I am insecure. She had been running a side business of teaching students which was to keep her occupied. All the income from this was retained by her. She needed support in the form of a full time maid which I could not afford. In 2011 I made her completely break up with my parents, she involved the kids in this and did not allow them to either speak or meet my parents. This went on for 6 years. I lost my job 2 years back, my wife told me she wants to call her parents to take care of the kids, I could barely manage them financially so had to refuse which did not go to well with her, she took both my boys and since then stays with her parents, runs her classes. I have been struggling for a job since the last 21/2 years but have been providing for my kids maintenance and education by digging into my savings. I have sent her a MCD notice but she is asking for the house and alimony for herself and maintenance and education for the kids. I do not have problems in paying her everything what she is asking except for the house. The house has been made by my earnings and she has not contributed to it at all. She does not want to divorce me but prefers staying separated. I do not want to make it contested. What will be a fair share of alimony, maintenance for her and kids and till when.