Marriage Trouble, cannot understand the needs of wife.

IT all started after the demise of my wide's father in Feb 2016, for the next few months till July 2016 she was staying with me, then we had a fight over she spending way too much time with her mother whom we brought along to stay with us but at a very nearby rented place, matter escalated when she slowly started moving in entirely with her mother and it escalated to a point where it was a shouting match with a couple of physical altercations, her side people and my mother and father came and spoke to both us to find out the reason, i gave my side of the story and when it came to her part she just kept on repeating that 'no one will understand her' that was the only statement she kept on giving without actually stating what her needs or choices are, that same day in July she moved in with her mother who rents a apartment underneath my apartment, i tried reasoning with her via calls and when she stopped taking my calls, i messaged her via whatapp on which she blocked me as well, she also blocked me from her Facebook account, its been close to year now and i have on hundreds of occasions (evidenced via messages) tried to reason with her to get back but she is just adamant in not communicating at all, her people have also advised her to go back as she was not being fair but she is not listening to them too all the while staying just underneath my apartment with her mother, last month i did find some chat message on Facebook with one of colleagues which were not initiated by my wife but were done by her colleague which were very inappropriate, when i confronted her with the evidence she immediately said on the same day that she wanted to go separate, this was after so many months of being away but staying just nearby, to make a point here she was just chatting and not agreeing to the advances of this colleague of hers, but why would she have to encourage those kind of advances when she was so depressed, unhappy or sad during these times (she is not that kind of a woman who would cheat for sure), the reasons being given to me are that she is sad, upset, not well, depressed but not exactly why and what was making her to be like that, we have a 8 year old son, now with him the situation is this, my wife only gets in touch with me when we have expenses towards him or other house related expenses like rent etc otherwise there is no communication from her with regards to rekindling or marriage, my wife even is not willing to come attend counseling classes as she says she does not need too and is good with making her own decisions, i am confused and do not know what to do as i feel i have tried everything. How do i get her back as i know for a fact she does not want to leave me, i feel its only a threat she made to leave her or go separate when i confronted with the earlier chat messages i mentioned above. Please suggest. Thank you!