How to deal with my troublesome marriage.
I knew my wife since 1 year before marriage. We had also met 4-5 times. I found her nice by nature. Eventually without agreement and support of my parents I married her without any dowry at her residence in the absence of my parents. When she came to my home as bahu my parents behaved well and were supportive. Eventually she would start complaining about my parents to me for no specific reason. She turned out to be a master of bringing a ruckus out of thin air and create tension. Differences between her and my parents grew day by day. My parents were not happy of me choosing a wife so they moved out to another house.
Now it is 14 months of our marriage. In this period I have spend a lot of money to keep her happy. I have taken her to many places. Every weekend I have to take her for a picnic. She spends a lot of money on unnecessary shopping. We eat more often outside. In short my dream of a happy married life is ruined and my wife is a living hell.
I have following complains about her:
1. Does not know proper cooking. Always finds out an easy meal.
2. Does not do household work. House is always a dirty mess with all dis-organised unnecessary show piece items which she bought.
3. She talks very filthy about me and all my family members. She says to me on my face in front of others that I am a hijra.
4. She talks too much on phone.
5. When I complain to her mother about her mistakes she talks very sweet to me but does not correct her daughter instead tells her not to do any household work, do not talk to me and irritate us and my wife do exactly that.
6. Frequently she sleeps separately.
7. She needs expensive and fancy clothes, cosmetics even though I have no money. My house expense of just 2 people crosses 45K.
8. She is demanding and always insiting me to buy a scooty for her.
9. She alleged my parents that they are demanding dowry.
10. Before marriage her father asked me for a security money that I am going to bring baarati. He asked for 25000 but I gave only 15000.
11. She insults guest.
12. She writes me very irritating messages when I am office. She also irritates me on phone. She wants to know everything about me i.e. where I am, what I am doing etc. Without any proof she alleges me that I am having an affair with an office girl. I recorded her conversation on whatsapp with her younger sister about calling that girl from a third person and even putting her naked photo on internet.
13. She never wants me to come late at home and when I am even 20 mins late then it is a nightmare for me.
14. She faked me her education, She don't even know ABC of english.
15. She also tried to kill my mom. We have complained police about this and we have a FIR copy also.
Due to her behavior my work life is distracted. My boss has given me warning about my performance. In one instance she had written messages on hangout which were very filthy things about me and my family members. In anger I went to police station to complain about her. When police asked her that why she has written such obscene messages she told that I had written that message to myself using her email and password. She complained to police about us that we are demanding dowry and almost went onto filing 498a and false dv case. On that day I have taken her phone from her (why can't I it is me who has provided her phone). But immediately the next day she fought and took back the phone. I complained her mom and dad but from then on they have also stopped talking to me. She always ask me to leave her to her home but I say I wouldn't get leave (this is also true, given that I have used all my leaves). Her parents keep on throwing tantrums on me that they will call her and would not send her again. I would be very happy if I get rid of her. Since it is no where my mistake I am looking for divorce without any maintenance. Looking at her nature now it seems she is ready to file 498a and false dv case anytime.
I cleverly had installed a spy software on her phone which records every phone calls. When I listen her and her relatives conversation I was very shocked what they are upto. I can always produce these as evidence if one demands. Few of the main points are:
1. Her father was saying that they will call her and they will never allow me to talk her on phone. So after 6 months when I go there to resolve the matter they will manhandle me and forcefully take me to their factory where they have container of molten brass and put me in there.
2. Her mother, sisters and her conversation where they all have talked very insulting about us.
3. Her mother has said that it is your third marriage then why are you not living peacefully. Now I had no clue about this I thought that she is virgin. If this is true then she had very cleverly found a 3rd bakra in me and I am a fool to not listening to my parents before marriage.
Options seems to me are:
1. I talked to an advocate, he told me to file a mental harrassment case. This will avoid 498a arrest. But eventually I will end up paying 25000 maintenance of my 1 lakh per month earning.
2. Let go as it is. This means keep her happy. Keep collecting evidences and when they are enough go for divorce. But here I don't know it there will be any maintenance or not.
3. Don't keep her much happy and let them make their first move.
What do I do? Please suggest me other legal options. If it is proven that it is her third marriage then would the divorce be maintenance-less?
Asked in Family Law from Pune, Maharashtra
1) pl;ease clarify whether she has divorced her earlier husband before marrying you
2) second marriage during subsistence of earlier marriage is illegal
3) if your wife is abusive by nature and constantly abuses you and your family members file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty . use messages posted by her on hangout to make out a case
4) start staying separately . let her claim maintenance from court
5) even if you have to pay her maintenance it is worth it . you wont have to stay with her any more
1. Her act of attempting to murder your mother is sufficient for you to stand on your feet in the court for dissolution of marriage.
2. If false cases are filed under 498A and other provisions of criminal law then you may apply for and obtain anticipatory bail to preempt your arrest.
3. If she files for maintenance you will have to pay it unless you can prove that she is self sufficient or left the matrimonial home without a just cause. That this is her third marriage does not curtail her right to sue you for maintenance.
4. There is no other legal option.
immediately file a divorce case base don the cruelty under section 13(10(ia) of Hindu Marriage Act-1955, if both of you are Hindu and the marriage was solemnized as per Hindu rites and ceremonies, you have very strong case and can get the divorce from her very easily, try to find out her past marriages, it may be possible that she did not get any divorce from her previous husband or any one of them. if you got this information that she did not get any divorce from her ex-husband then you may file a petition for declaration of this marriage Null & Void and in this situation she will not be entitle to get any maintenance from you.
but if she get divorce from the court from her previous Husbands and unable to mainatin herself then you have to pay maintenance to her which may be 1/3 of your Income.
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Advocate, New Delhi
This seems to be a development of trivial issues.
You have not mentioned whether she is still there with you or have left your home.
If this problem subsists and there is no clue what to be done or if you apprehend that this will not be solved until you people get legally separated, you may plan to file a divorce case on the grounds of mental cruelty.
The call recordings may not be admissible as evidence hence you may gather more evidence to prove your divorce case.
If she retaliates with criminal complaints against you, better take AB and challenge them properly.