• My husband had affair with married woman before marriage

My husband had an affair with a married woman who has a 1 year old kid. her husband was aware about their relationship and it continues for 2 years. They had sexual relationship where in she was pregnant by my husband and they got it aborted as her daughter was only 1 year old. they stayed together in live in relationship for 2 months. my husband also tattooed her name on his wrist which he covered now. They both wanted to get married but later he broke off and she went back to her husband. he later met me and we got married and later i came to know about the relationship trough his old emails and chats in fb. i cannot forget it and its hurting me a lot. my husband says she was his past and now he is faithful to me and loves only me. but i still cannot forget all that. please help.
Asked 9 months ago in Family Law from United Kingdom
Religion: Hindu
1. You have not mentioned as to what do you want now,

2. Do you want to continue with him or want to terminate your marital relationship with him for his having had the said relationship with that married woman,

3. Please note that divorce is the 2nd most stressful event in one's life,

4. You can file a petition for annulment of marriage for taking your consent for the marriage by suppressing the vital fact from you.
Krishna Kishore Ganguly
Advocate, Kolkata
12123 Answers
232 Consultations
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1) your husband is absolutely correct 

2) yiu should not be concerned with his relationship before marriage 

3) if yiur husband is faithful to you after marriage and is not in touch with the said lady you  should forget about her and work towards making your marriage a success 
Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
23308 Answers
1220 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
If you cannot forget it then you may propose mutual consent divorce to your husband to amicably part ways. His pre-marital affair with a married woman does not give you the right to file for divorce. Extra-marital and not pre-marital affair is a ground for divorce. 
Ashish Davessar
Advocate, Jaipur
18167 Answers
449 Consultations
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It is for you to decide whether to forgive him or not. On the touchstone of law you have no right to apply for divorce on the ground of his pre-marital affair, but you can apply for nullity of marriage on the basis of suppression of his pre-marital affair which will have to be proved in the court. 
Ashish Davessar
Advocate, Jaipur
18167 Answers
449 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
1) no need to divorce your husband 

2) he loved that lady as is evident from
2 year relationship and wanted to marry her but as relationship dos not work he broke off and married you 

3) forget his past or you will never be happy in life 
Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
23308 Answers
1220 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
1. No, it is certainly not fine to stay with a married woman but the persons not connected to him at that time have no locus standii to question the legality of his said act at that time,

2. You were not connected to him at that time for which you can not lodge any complaint now for his said past act,

3. However, you can certainly agitate for his taking your consent for marriage with him by suppressing the above vital fact from you since had it been made known to you, you would have refused to marry him,

4. Based on the above ground, you can file a petition praying for annulment of your marriage.
Krishna Kishore Ganguly
Advocate, Kolkata
12123 Answers
232 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
1)you  should always bear in mind that these girl friends were before marriage 

2) after marriage he had been loyal to you  fior 2 years 

3) if you keep on being suspicious and accuse him of having extra marital affairs you will not be able to lead a happy married life 

4) it is possible that he will remain loyal to you for rest of his married life 
Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
23308 Answers
1220 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
1. All your allegation against him are about his past acts,

2. You are admitting that he has shown no sign of resorting to any such act even remotely,

3. You are apprehensive about his future steps when and if he gets fade up with you,

4. It has already been informed that divorce is the 2nd most stressful even in one's life for which it should be avoided at all cost,

5. It is impossible to predict whether he will become fade up with you and leave you for other women later on or not since it depends on both of you,

6. It will  be prudent on your part to ensure that he does not become fade up on you on any count specially his past relationships.
Krishna Kishore Ganguly
Advocate, Kolkata
12123 Answers
232 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
Your issue is purely of moral opinion rather than legal opinion.  It is you have to decide what to do.  In the last para you were telling that since 2 years he is loyal to you and you have not observed anything suspicious and wrong.  Then it is better to continue with him.  If you still want more proof about his character after your marriage, you engage a good detective agency and find out about his nature from your marriage.  

You can forgive him for one time.  But anyway it is risky.  The rest is your luck.  It is your fault that you have not taken the record of the back ground of your husband before your marriage.  Tell him firmly that this is the last chance and if he does the wrong once again, that is the end of your matrimonial bond.  If possible take in writing on a Bond Paper the above contents before 3 to 4 witnesses (relatives/mediators). 

Ravinder Pasula
Advocate, Hyderabad
316 Answers
68 Consultations
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As I said earlier, you have no legal ground under the Indian law to file for divorce except if you can prove that he has committed adultery post marriage. Of course, a person can change. 
Ashish Davessar
Advocate, Jaipur
18167 Answers
449 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
Hi, in order to save your marriage give him one more chance and as per your own  narration only he is loyal to you only  and nobody will anticipate what will happen in future. So it is my considered opinion forget the past live with him happly.
Pradeep Bharathipura
Advocate, Bangalore
4105 Answers
133 Consultations
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They both wanted to get married but later he broke off and she went back to her husband. he later met me and we got married and later i came to know about the relationship trough his old emails and chats in fb. i cannot forget it and its hurting me a lot. my husband says she was his past and now he is faithful to me and loves only me. but i still cannot forget all that. please help.

Though the fact that he was in relationship with a married female before marriage, it is pertinent to note that he has changed himself and  his loyal and faithful to your after marriage. Sometimes you may have to believe in what is going on in front of you to sail the marital voyage smoothly.  If you keep suspecting him and give him mental tortures, he may revert to his old habit for which only you can be held responsible and you may have to face more  problems subsequently.
You may resist yourself from such anxious moments and live a peaceful and happy life with him .
T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
14090 Answers
127 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
I want to know if he its fine he was staying with that woman for 2 months in a same house and he also made her pregnant and got abortion. i feel its wrong as he did not tell me about it before getting married and he also gave her many expensive gifts. he fought with her husband and asked him to get  her divorce so he can marry her. and i suppose he loved her truly as he wrote her name on his wrist. and off course its a 2 year relationship. shall i forgive him for this or i shall leave him or get divorce? as i am highly disturbed and cannot even concentrate on work.

The reason for you extensive anxiety about his past is because you have become too possessive about him, which is not advisable.  If he is ready to give up his past life and assure you that he will not repeat such incidences anytime in the future, you have to trust him and go ahead with your married life otherwise you are not only troubling him but also yourself, your parents, his people etc. This may hamper your married life, if you opt for divorce on this ground, you may find stranded in the society after getting divorce from him.  You may analyse pros and cons properly before concluding with a wrong decision. 
T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
14090 Answers
127 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0
he goes for work come back home and during off days whole day at home. but i am scared if he later on fed up wit me and continues to go with other girls around. its been 2 years we are married now and since then he is loyal to me. is there a hope that he may stay loyal in future also? is it better for me to stay with him or separate by getting divorce? can a person change?

Life depends on trust and faith alone, it will not move smoothly when it is filled with suspicions agaisnt each other.
Everything will change and he may also have changed himslf from a playboy to a responsible husband after marriage. 
Moreover the past history before marriage cannot constitute ground for divorce, for divorce you may have to look for some other strong grounds. 
Since it is more than 2 years after your marriage with him, in my opinion he may not indulge into his past habits anymore now because this habit, if it was die hard, would have emerged atleast once during these two years term.
Therefore have patience, forget or ignore his past activities and live a happy married life with him.
T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
14090 Answers
127 Consultations
5.0 on 5.0

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