I am an engineer and i got married to an engineer in 2003. both of us have government job. i have two daughters of age 10 and 4. Since marriage, my husband hesitated to take responsibilities of family saying he has loans which he made for his parents and his brothers family. in the initial state it self, i have given nearly Rs. 2lakhs to him to settle his loans in 2007. Even after that he has contributed a very little amount from his earnings to us. in 2013 suddenly he started telling he has loan and struggling to come out of that. He started with 2Lakhs and ended with 5Lakhs, some how, i arranged and gave the amount. after 6 months or so, he told he has 15Lakhs of loan. having two daughters, i didn't wanted loose family and and my daughters like their father so much, for their happiness i even tried to give the amount he wanted by making loans on my name. All these i just did to save my family not just save my husband. after taking 15Lakhs, my husband is telling he still have loan of 18Lakhs. he says all these loans he made for his family. not even one rupee of these loans he has contributed for his wife and children. now i have come to know that, he has maintained relationship with two women whom he is talking without my knowledge. he says that they are just friends. when i checked with his call details he has spent much time on them over phone for more than a year. he calls them more than 10 calls a day very frequently, in my absence. now i am really scared of my position, because already i have made so much loans to give money, and for the livelihood, i have to depend on him too. i really don't know what to do,either to continue with him, or face the circumstances. please advice
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1) best option is to call quits . your husband is more of a liability and keeps on taking loans . go for divorce by mutual consent
2) seek maintenance for your 2 daughters . since both are working both have to share responsibility of daughters equally
You have to decide what you want. If you want to discontinue your marriage then you can file for divorce on the ground of cruelty and adultery if you are able to gather evidence of his extra marital affair. You can also file for maintenance against him to make him liable to support you and your daughters.
Your husband made it a habit of lying you and avail your money for his extra marital activities. You had been very innocent and had been supporting him without verifying the veracity of the statements made by him. did you ever check that when did he avail this loan and to what extent and why did he make you as a borrower and how come every time he is coming out with new and heavy loans after you have started settling one after another.
Therefore he not only lied you but also cheated you.
There is no liability on him or you have to depend on him since you are also employed and drawing a good salary, you can live independently in the same house without giving him any money, he cannot force you. You cannot tolerate his nuisance and this cheating activity on the pretext of marital bondage because he had been taking advantage of your such weakness.
You can wake up even now b not obliging him with any money anymore and force him to share the burden of home maintenance expenses, you can remain in the same house without having any contacts with him if fails to oblige or tortures you for the change in your behavior or attitude with him.
You should not be afraid of his threats for divorce etc., even if he files one, you may challenge it properly.
If you wont correct him at least now, then you may stand losing him fully one day since he is reported to be flirting behind some other women already.
Be courageous and take wise decision at right time.
1. Your steps defy all logical sense,
2. When the loan amount first soared from Rs.2 lakhs to Rs.5 lakhs, you being an professionally educated person should have about the destination of your money paid and taken the stock and details of his debt,
3. You surprisingly did not ask for the details of hisb debt which soared to Rs.18 Lakhs,
4. Now, your concern is your husband's call records with two other women,
5. It will be prudent on your part to ask your husband about returning the money he has taken from you and also get the details about the payments he has made from your said amount,
6. You can take care of the issue with the said two ladies later on.
Hi, from you narration your husband having extra marital affairs so it is better you can come out of this relationship and file a petition for divorce.
2. Though you are depending upon him but he has cheated to you and in family relationship trust is very important and in your case you have no trust with him.
Thanku for all the advice given. now i have gathered some evidences about my husband's extra marital affairs. he has kept physical relationship with his own cousin sister. i have got some of the voice call recordings form his phone. in the call recording he has clearly told that he has physical relation with that lady. both side voices are also clear. please advice what i can do with the call details and recordings. i want to get divorce from him and as well as want to seek maintenance for my 2 daughters. he is working in Government PSU. how much compensation i or my daughters may get. i don't want him to see my daughters in future. will court help me for that. If i take compensation from him for my daughters, is there any law by which he will be allowed to meet my daughters at any time. how i can challenge this issue. what legal issues i have to face from my side. please advice.
1)you cannot rely upon call recordings of husband with his cousin sister . it would be breach of privacy
2) you can file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty
3) husband having extra marital affairs amount to mental cruelty
4) maintenance awarded by court would depend upon husband income , your income
5) court would grant your husband visitation rights for the daughters
1. You shall have to ensure that you have irrefutable evidence of his having physical relationship with other women out of his wedlock.
2. Just one call record may not be enough when the case is argued before the Court.
3. Once you are equipped with irrefutable evidence of his having s*xual relationship with other women during pendency of his marriage with you, you can file a divorce suit against him on the ground of cruelty and adultery claiming substantial amount of compensation for you and alimony for your daughter.
4. However, since he is the biological father of your child, he will e granted visitation right for meeting your child at your place or any other mutually agreed place.
please advice what i can do with the call details and recordings. i want to get divorce from him and as well as want to seek maintenance for my 2 daughters. he is working in Government PSU. how much compensation i or my daughters may get. i don't want him to see my daughters in future. will court help me for that.
You can make this as one among the reasons in the pleadings for divorce case among other reasons, if you apply for divorce on the grounds cruelty.
The call recordings may not be admissible as primary evidence in court to prove his adultery or extra marital affairs with his cousin.
Since the children are with you, it is he who has to file a petition for child custody or visitation rights, which you can strongly oppose and object on the same grounds of moral and bad conduct.
About maintenance, you have to prove his income to the satisfaction of court and justify your claim, the court will, after hearing both the sides, grant maintenance as it founds fit.
If i take compensation from him for my daughters, is there any law by which he will be allowed to meet my daughters at any time.
The compensation can be decided by the terms drawn on mutual agreement between you both and in that itself the condition to not to visit the children may be drawn and agreed
how i can challenge this issue. what legal issues i have to face from my side.
He may apply for child custody which you can challenge on the basis of merits in your side.