My wife became toxic, irresponsible and disrespectful towards me and my family after my dad passed way 1.5 years ago. Due to this, I stopped talking to her. She is staying in the same flat but in different room. She doesn’t do any work at home. I’m doing all work like cooking, utensils washing, washing clothes and managing my office by WFH. She doesn’t help my 9Y old son in studies as well. I help my son after my office. Due to my hectic work schedule, my health has started to decline. My son is also getting affected due to this. So far, I stayed silent for my son, now I’m tired of this and would like to mutually divorce as this is the quick way rather than contesting divorce. Please advise. Thank you!
If your wife agrees for mutual consent divorce then you can enter into a MOU with the mutually agreed terms and conditions including the monthly maintenance or alimony amount and child custody etc, reduce it to writing and file it, however if she doesn't agrees for mutual consent divorce then you can file a contested divorce case on the grounds of mental cruelty, non cohabitation etc.
You can ask your wife for divorce by Mutial consent
if she refuses file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty
seek sole custody of your son
well fare of child is paramount consideration
You can send her notice for mutual divorce proceedings if she is ready then same can be filed else contested divorce is only option
Propose mutual divorce under Section 13B Hindu Marriage Act via written consent letter; mediate child custody/alimony at Bangalore Family Court Mediation Centre first. If refused, file contested on cruelty grounds (neglect/disrespect). Consult lawyer today for petition/drafts. Prioritize son's welfare/custody claim.
1. Mutual Consent Divorce is the best form of separation, which saves time and money.
2. Custody of children can be resolved between husband and wife.
3. Division of assets and liabilities can be decided.
4. Alimony, if any, could be mutually resolved.
From a legal perspective, what you are describing amounts to mental cruelty and neglect of marital and parental responsibilities. Continuous disrespect, withdrawal from marital duties, refusal to contribute to household or child care, and forcing one spouse to shoulder everything alone are all recognised by Indian courts as cruelty. Your silence so far does not weaken your position; in fact, it shows restraint and concern for your child.
Since you wish to avoid prolonged litigation, mutual consent divorce is indeed the fastest and least damaging route, provided your wife agrees.
The first step should be to initiate a calm, formal conversation proposing mutual consent divorce. Ideally, this should be done through a lawyer-drafted notice or mediation invitation rather than an emotional discussion at home. A neutral legal communication often helps the other side take the situation seriously and reduces the risk of false allegations later. In the proposal, focus on incompatibility, breakdown of marriage, and concern for the child’s welfare rather than accusations.
If she agrees, both of you can file a joint petition for divorce by mutual consent under Section 13B of the Hindu Marriage Act. Since you have a 9-year-old child, the court will insist on clarity regarding custody, visitation, education expenses, and maintenance. From what you’ve described, you are already the primary caregiver, which is an important factor. Even in mutual divorce, the court will record arrangements in the child’s best interest.
Regarding timelines, mutual divorce usually takes 6–8 months, but the six-month waiting period can be waived by the court if it is shown that:
• You have been living separately (even in the same house but separate rooms qualifies in many cases),
• The marriage has irretrievably broken down,
• There is no chance of reconciliation,
• All issues (child, maintenance, property) are settled.
Given your facts—emotional separation, impact on health and child, and prolonged breakdown—you have a reasonable chance of getting the cooling-off period waived.
You should also start protecting yourself legally right now, even before initiating divorce:
• Keep records of your role in child care (school communications, homework help, fees paid).
• Preserve medical records showing health impact due to stress.
• Avoid arguments, abusive messages, or confrontations.
• Do not abandon the house or the child abruptly, as that can be used against you.
• If possible, have a trusted family member or counsellor involved in discussions.
If she refuses mutual divorce or becomes hostile, you still have the option of filing a contested divorce on grounds of cruelty and neglect. However, contested cases take longer and often escalate conflict, so your preference for mutual divorce is sensible.
Given that a minor child is involved, it is especially important to move in a structured, legally safe manner rather than continuing to suffer silently. A lawyer can help you draft a proposal that addresses custody and financial aspects fairly, which often makes the other party more receptive.
In short, you are not wrong to feel overwhelmed, and you are legally justified in seeking an exit from this marriage. The next practical step is a lawyer-guided mutual divorce proposal while quietly preparing yourself with documentation in case the matter turns contested. If you want, I can also help you understand how custody typically works in such situations or how to approach the first legal communication safely.
Dear client,
In the instant case, you can apply for a divorce by mutual consent only if both the parties are mutually consenting to the same in case where there is irreparable harm done to marriage and the parties have been living separately for a period of at least 1 year. You can qualify for a mutual consent only if your wife is also mutually ready for divorce, otherwise the same will not be applicable.
In the other case where she is not consenting, you can still file for divorce on the ground of cruelty being faced by you. The courts over the years have widely interpreted cruelty to include mental cruelty and your case definitely qualifies for the same.
I hope this answer helps. For any further queries, please do not hesitate to contact us. Thank you.
Mutual consent divorce is the quickest and least stressful option if both spouses agree. Start by talking to your wife calmly to see if she is open to it.
If she agrees, you can file a joint petition in the Family Court. You will need to settle child custody, visitation, and expenses, as the court will prioritize your son’s well being. The process usually takes about six months and may be shorter in some cases.
If she does not agree, the matter will have to be contested, which takes more time and effort. It is best to consult a family lawyer and keep records showing your role in caring for your child and the home.
Dear Sir,
If she becomes hostile or refuses:
You already have strong legal grounds for contested divorce:
Mental cruelty
Neglect of child
Constructive desertion
Denial of marital obligations
You are NOT helpless.
You may have mutual divorce with in a short period if your wife will agree with your views.
You are in an understandably difficult and painful situation. Your health and your son's well-being are the top priorities, and the current environment is unsustainable. Before proceeding directly to a mutual divorce, consider one last attempt at clarity through professional intervention. Given the depth of estrangement and the impact on your child, consulting with a family therapist or counselor, even individually, could provide crucial support and strategies. Simultaneously, you must immediately engage a qualified family law attorney. Explain your desire for a mutual divorce, but a lawyer will ensure your rights—especially regarding financial arrangements, property division, and, most critically, child custody and support—are fully protected. Do not agree to any terms without legal advice. A mutual consent divorce in India requires agreement on all issues; your lawyer will help draft a fair settlement. Document instances of neglect, especially regarding your son's care, as this may be relevant for custody considerations. Prioritize creating a stable, healthy routine for yourself and your son during this process. Your decision to move toward resolution is a step toward protecting both your and your child's future.
- As per Supreme Court judgment, wife is expected to move in with the relatives of their husbands, follow the rules and customs of their home, and ideally, blend in seamlessly as a new daughter.
- Further, the court granted divorce to a man on the grounds of “cruelty” after his wife refused to share a home with her in-laws.
- Further, If wife is not supporting her husband for the enjoyment of life and denying relation, then the husband can get divorce after filing a divorce petition before the court on this ground.
- Further, if the family members are interfering in the matrimonial then it amounts to cruelty and a ground for divorce.
- Since, she is not co-operating with you then you can ask from her for mutual divorce if you both are not living as husband and wife since last one year even after living under one roof.
- If she not ready for mutual divorce , then file a contested divorce case on the ground of cruelty.
For mutual divorce the participation of both the husband and the wife is mandatory. Hence, for this you will have to request and convince her to participate in the mutual divorce proceedings.
