• My wife is getting abusive verbally and a little physically

I was married in May 2009 and I was working in a company as Sales Manager. Soon after we got married, we had our baby boy. My wife was working and she did not wanted to take care of child so she left the house soon after the baby was 8 months. I had to leave my job to take care of kid and my old mother. I later started business even that I could not pursue as I was playing house husband role.

My wife consistently demanded money from me while she was working. I tried to do odd jobs like taking tutions etc and still maintained my whole house expense, she has never contributed money towards anything or her own expense.

Now I am constantly being abused verbally and mentally in the worst way, she always curses my mother , mys sister, my child and me. I find it very difficult to cope and getting depressive.in two or thre instances she provoked me by getting physical to which when I responded in her way, she is now calling me absure too. My child is now 11 years old and does not want to stay with her. I need help.
Asked 2 years ago in Family Law
Religion: Hindu

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10 Answers

If you have been living separately away from your wife for a period of over 11 years, then there is no point in continuing this dead marriage.

You can file a divorce case on the grounds of cruelty and desertion and all these incidences will be supporting evidence to establish your pleadings for divorce.

Since she is employed and drawing a handsome salary, you do not have to pay her maintenance amount also.

Besides you too do not have a permanent job and also taking car of your child and mother are your liabilities too.

You may consult a local advocate and proceed with the suggested idea of filing divorce case.

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
89978 Answers
2492 Consultations

- As per Supreme Court judgment, wife is expected to move in with the relatives of their husbands, follow the rules and customs of their home, and ideally, blend in seamlessly as a new daughter. 

- Further, the court granted divorce to a man on the grounds of “cruelty” after his wife refused to share a home with her in-laws.

- Further, If wife is not supporting her husband for the enjoyment of life and denying relation, then the husband can get divorce after filing a divorce petition before the court on this ground.

- Further, as per Supreme Court , if a wife is capable to maintain her and is in financially good , then she is not entitled to get maintenance from her husband. 

- - Further, if she is abusive and creating trouble for you , then it amounts to cruelty and is a ground for divorce. 

- Your mentioned facts are showing that you are subjected cruelty from her , and hence you can file a divorce petition before the court on the ground of cruelty and mentioned grounds. 

- You can also file a complaint as information before the police after mentioning these facts and mention that she is threatening for implicating you in false cases. 

Mohammed Shahzad
Advocate, Delhi
15814 Answers
242 Consultations

- Under Hindu law, A mother usually gets custody of the minor child, under the age of five and fathers get custody of older boys, but it is not a strict rule and is primarily decided based on the child’s interests.

- The choice of a child above the age of nine is considered, and further a mother who is proven to neglect or ill-treat the child is not given custody.

- Further, since the child wanted to live with you , then she cannot be a perfect guardian as well , and suitable for getting custody of the child. 

Mohammed Shahzad
Advocate, Delhi
15814 Answers
242 Consultations

File for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty 

 

2) seek shelter le custody of your son 

 

3) since your wife is highly qualified and working she is not entitled to any maintenance 

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
99779 Answers
8145 Consultations

 

File for divorce 

 

2) rely upon Audio and video recordings to prove allegations of mental cruelty 

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
99779 Answers
8145 Consultations

You can file a divorce case on the grounds of cruelty and desertion.

If you are worried about your child's custody, you can file a child custody case under guardians and wards act.

You give proper instructions to your advocate who will prepare the petition with solid pleadings for divorce and the evidences which are available with you.

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
89978 Answers
2492 Consultations

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental condition that affects how a person thinks, feels, and behaves. People with NPD have an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. They often exploit, manipulate, and hurt the people closest to them, such as their spouses, children, and family members.

Living with a narcissistic spouse can be very stressful and damaging to your mental health and well-being. You may experience emotional abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, or financial abuse from your spouse. You may also feel isolated, lonely, guilty, ashamed, or worthless because of their constant criticism, blame, and contempt. You may lose your sense of identity, self-esteem, and self-respect because of their control and domination.

However, you do not have to suffer in silence or endure this abuse forever. You have the right to protect yourself and your child from harm and seek happiness and peace in your life. You have the power to change your situation and reclaim your dignity and freedom.

Here are some steps that you can take to deal with your narcissistic wife and improve your situation:

  • Seek professional help. The first and most important step is to seek help from a qualified mental health professional who can provide you with counseling, therapy, support, and guidance. A therapist can help you cope with your emotions, heal from the trauma, and regain your confidence and self-worth. A therapist can also help you understand the nature of NPD and how it affects your spouse’s behavior and your relationship. A therapist can also help you decide whether to stay in the marriage or leave it.
  • Educate yourself. The second step is to educate yourself about NPD and how to deal with it. You can read books, articles, blogs, or watch videos on this topic. You can also join online forums or support groups where you can share your experiences and learn from others who have faced similar situations. You can also consult a lawyer or a legal aid service to know your rights and options regarding divorce, custody, alimony, etc.
  • Set boundaries. The third step is to set clear and firm boundaries with your spouse and stick to them. Boundaries are the rules or limits that you establish to protect yourself from harm and disrespect. You need to communicate your boundaries to your spouse and let them know what you will and will not tolerate from them. For example, you can tell them that you will not accept any verbal or physical abuse, that you will not give them money unless they contribute to the household expenses, that you will not let them interfere with your parenting decisions, etc. You also need to enforce your boundaries by taking action if they violate them. For example, you can hang up the phone, walk away, call the police, or file a complaint if they abuse you.
  • Practice self-care. The fourth step is to practice self-care and take care of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs. Self-care is the act of doing things that make you feel good, healthy, happy, and relaxed. You need to prioritize your own well-being over pleasing your spouse or meeting their demands. You need to do things that nourish your body, mind, soul, and heart. For example, you can eat well, exercise regularly, sleep enough, meditate daily, pursue your hobbies or passions,

Muraleedharan R
Advocate, Trivandrum
386 Answers
2 Consultations

The problem seems more medical rather mental. Any legal initiative will trigger   extreme retaliatory legal reaction. Law being in favour of women it will be difficult for you to cope with. Trai to settle amicable within confines of home.

Ravi Shinde
Advocate, Hyderabad
5129 Answers
42 Consultations

You can decide to file divorce mutual consent or contested depends on your wife stand. You can still file for custody of your child without filing for divorce 

Prashant Nayak
Advocate, Mumbai
34515 Answers
249 Consultations

Dear client I am sorry to hear that but in this case you can go ahead and file a divorce case under section 13 of Hindu Marriage Act on the front Grounds like cruelty. Further more you can also file a petition for child custody and maintenance since you are not working

Anik Miu
Advocate, Bangalore
11014 Answers
125 Consultations

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