• Financial abuse and body shamming by inlaws

Hi I am a software engineer and my husband is a professor. We are having a 2 year kid.we are staying at 1st floor of a building constructed by my in laws. They are at ground floor. During first 2 years of marriage we had been living in ground floor only. Later my father I law had to accomodate his 97 year old mother in ground floor so he constructed 1st floor out of his own decision and which we did not ask for. He had to save tax since he is a pensioner. So he put housing loan of 30L... and constructed 1st floor... Since we were in good terms I as a daughter inlaw wanted to help my father I law in sharing the loan amt so I agree. To pay 7000 per month. Later after my child birth I had to go on loss of pay during which I couldn't pay the amt. My in laws said they are comfortable and I need not pay them anything. However to meet the verbal commitment I had got them a tenant who can pay the amount which I was not able to pay thought it was a verbal commitment. Meanwhile conflicts began to increase with my mother-in-law when she started body shamming me for being obsese..i was mentally affected and she always insults me that I am staying in a paropert which is owned by them....thougb I have been spending as much possible for common needs....my father I law said that my mother in-law cannot take care of my kid ..so I had to put her in a day care and get back to office...then for the past 2 years we are under pandemic situation ..I and my husband are working from home.. we are taking care of our kid with least support from my inlaws though we live in the same building... Today since we had an argument since I had to mention the amount that I am spending for the common needs my father in law became so sensitive and he said that I am enjoying the space that he constructed... I said u never let me enjoy..u and ur wife had always been creating issues over small things and spoiling my peace of mind...he immediately asked me to vacate the house saying that he is okay with his son and not okay with me.....he also abused and insulted me for not paying 7000 which I could since I had to meet the baby expenses... However I had asked them multiple time I had to pay them anything..they always said that they were in a comfortable position..... But today he had insulted me a lot and asked me to vacate the place leaving his son..though myself and my husband do not have any conflicts is this justified??? I am stressed and feeling insulted though I am also an earning member of my inlaws family
Asked 4 years ago in Family Law
Religion: Hindu

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12 Answers

File DV case against husband and in laws seek protection order and right to stay in your matrimonial home 

 

your in laws cannot evict you from your matrimonial home 

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
99784 Answers
8145 Consultations

File police complaint against your in laws for forcing you to vacate your matrimonial home 

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
99784 Answers
8145 Consultations

These are petty household conflicts which are better to be agreed.  They are getting older with each passing days and their growing physical ailments often make them fragile. 

So ignore the issues and raise family with your husband. 

Devajyoti Barman
Advocate, Kolkata
23655 Answers
537 Consultations

See, all these are mental stress and in your family except your husband in-laws and you are taking out that furstration.

 

If you're husband is with you and backing you than no need to worry about it

 

Secondly, you have break the communication chain or interaction, because every action has reaction.

 

So from now onwards you will not take with your in-laws at any subject matter. If they have communicate with you they have to tell their son first means your husband.

 

Let them speak, shout, abuse etc you do not reply to them. 

You give warning them through your husband if they oral  abuse or physical abuse then you will make complaint against them in the police station.

Ganesh Kadam
Advocate, Pune
13008 Answers
267 Consultations

As the dispute did not reach critical point there can be still patch up. You strength is the support of your husband. Play some mind game. One cannot be straight in this world. Don’t display any bitterness towards in laws. Husband should feel that though they are behaving in crooked manner you have no ill will against them. Use their son against them. This may be passing phase. So for law is concerned you position is very strong. Just for you knowledge I am forwarding the provisions of law to you. If you know the law you will be more confident.

You have many options. Law is in favor of women. Following  remedies are available to you…

  1. Under Domestic Violence Act, 2005—
  2. You, any relative or friend on your behalf or an Advocate engaged by you can submit an application to the Magistrate or police. A notice  will be served on husband and he will be asked to attend the court on a particular date. If he fails to attend court, he will be arrested by police and brought to court. You can obtain any or all of the following  orders…
  3. Protection order prohibiting husband from—
  4. committing any act of domestic violence;
  5. entering the place of your employment;

  • attempting to communicating with you;

  1. selling any assets, operating bank accounts or bank lockers held jointly by both or singly by husband including streedhan.
  2. Residence order. Police will force your husband to give shelter in the shared house and restrain him from dispossessing you.
  3. Monetary reliefs:
  4. To meet the expensed incurred and losses suffered as a result of domestic violence;
  5. Loss of earnings;

  • Medical expenses;

  1. Maintenance for wife and children;
  2. Lump sum payment.
  3. Compensation: compensation and damages for injuries, including mental torture and emotional distress.

  4. Code of Criminal Procedure, 1973, Section 125: you can obtain monthly maintenance for yourself and child.

  5. Indian Penal Code, 1860: You can file criminal case under Section 498A if there is cruelty or demands of dowry for which punishment is imprisonment upto three years.
  6. If they are not giving your belongings, you can file case against them under Section 406 of Indian Penal Code, 1860 for criminal breach of trust for which punishment is 3 years.

Employed or not, he is bound to pay for maintenance of his son. It is not easy for him to get divorce, unless you agree.  If he files divorce he has to pay of alimony compensation running into lacks. His son has right to share in his property.

It is strongly advised that you should…

  1. secure your ornaments by obtaining order, not to operate bank locker and bank accounts under Domestic Violence Act, 2005.
  2. Restrain him from house transferring as the same belongs to you son.

 

Ravi Shinde
Advocate, Hyderabad
5133 Answers
42 Consultations

Ups and downs is part of living. You have husband on your side. Remember don’t display any hatred towards in laws though they are absolutely wrong that way you will get his full support

Ravi Shinde
Advocate, Hyderabad
5133 Answers
42 Consultations

Dear Maam,

1) If your husband is in your support then you do not need to worry.

2) If your in laws try to force you out of the house you can file dv case or police compliant against them. As the house is your matrimonial and shared household, you cannot be removed from the same.

3) You should just ignore this extremely wrong behavior on their part.

4) Try to tell your husband that this behavior is too much and make hime explain the same to his parents. 

Thank you

Anik Miu
Advocate, Bangalore
11014 Answers
125 Consultations

Since your husband is on your side, I will advise you not to escalate this and talk this out with your in laws, perhaps with your husband mediating the dispute. 

 

Otherwise, there are a plethora of legal remedies which you can resort to against your in laws; however they will only spoil things from here. 

Vibhanshu Srivastava
Advocate, Lucknow
9763 Answers
323 Consultations

These are trivial issues happening at each and every household which cannot be avoided or dispensed until and unless there is a real and good understanding between the in laws i.e., the father and mother in law with the daughter in law.

You have legal options also to defend your interests by filing a domestic violence case against both your father and mother in law and also can  seek protection and residential rights in the shared household in the same case.

But of course once you resort to legal actions against them then the possibilities of reconciling the difference and the hopes for a future united family may have no chances.

Moreover since your husband  is not having any dispute with you and he appears to cooperate with you, it would be better that you take him into confidence and inform him about all such happenings/events and surrender to him so that he will stand by you and may resolve the issues with his parents. 

 

 

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
89986 Answers
2493 Consultations

As mentioned in my previous post that these are trivial issues occurring in each and every household, you should not become very sensitive to all such issues.

You can ignore their hidings or accusations and look for continuing your routine affairs without paying heed to their undesirable activities against you.

So far your husband is on your side and is taking care to defend your interest, you should deviate all these burdens on his shoulders and live a peaceful life amidst chaos because those old people cannot be made alright if they have contracted their mentality towards such ill aspersions against you  hence they will be looking for finding faults on each every petty issue, therefore you may cultivate the habit of ignoring them, they will become fed up  for not getting any response and may remain silent over a period of time.

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
89986 Answers
2493 Consultations

 Battered women are frequently rendered shelter less. They need to know what can be called their matrimonial home. It is the household that a woman shares with her husband whether it is rented, officially provided, or owned by the husband or his relatives. A woman's right to remain in the matrimonial home has been recognized under the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005. If a woman is being pressurized to leave the matrimonial home, she can ask the court for an injunction or restraining order protecting her from thrown out. It is generally advisable not to leave the matrimonial home provided there is no threat to life or threat of injury. It is easier to get a court order preventing a woman from being thrown out that to get an order enforcing her right to return to it once she has left or been thrown out.

So you have every right to get protection order and right to stay in your matrimonial home by way of filing Domestic violence case. Before approaching the court try for an amicable settlement between in laws.  Please do understand that every house has its rules. In-laws have probably managed the household for years and are set in their ways. You will have to adjust with their stated and unstated rules willingly or unwillingly that may be stressful.

In your case, Proper communications is the main villain. In any household, regular conversations between two people can easily spark unsolicited opinions or comments from the rest of the family members. In fact, innocent statements can be construed to be vicious and very soon women living with in-laws realize that every word they speak is subject to interpretation and comments. The moment you realize that your in-laws are being insensitive to this particular need, you and your spouse have to work together to build some sort of boundaries and strategy to break off this habit. With the right approach, planning and mindset, it is possible to carve out an amicable relationship. The difficulties in living with in-laws can be addressed using a combination of common sense, empathy and decisive actions. Never underestimates the value of this relationship. It is not a relationship of two-three years, so better make it healthy. Your love for your husband is enough to get your relationship improved. His parents are an important part of his life so better accept that.

Whenever possible, avoid communicating through a third party. Don't ask your spouse to talk to his parents about something they did that hurt your feelings. But communicate the same to him for getting a support. Your parents have to love you; it's in the contract. But your in-laws don't. Accept the fact that your in-laws aren't your parents and won't follow the same rules. Try to think "different” not "better" or "worse." Learn to see the situation from your in-law's point of view. Even if your spouse has parents from hell, they are his parents. Just don't fight fire with fire. Don’t behave with preconceived notions regarding mom-in-law and daughter-in-law. Keep in mind that both need love, affection and respect. Choose to love over false ego. So, don't be swayed by stereotypes. Make an effort to observe and understand your in-laws, then deal with the situation.

 

 

Ajay N S
Advocate, Ernakulam
4125 Answers
114 Consultations

-     You can always insulate completely from in-laws.

Don’t keep any contact with them.

Also give a warning that you can call police if they ever repeat their mistakes.

 

 

-     Nobody con evict you from your house.

Filing DV case on your in laws is always option but it can turn your husband against you.

Take your husband in confidence before filing legal case.

Better you send a legal notice first.

It might be enough to scare them and stay away from you.

 

 

Ankur Goel
Advocate, Bangalore
454 Answers

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