are you interested in living with your wife
Wife threatening for property
Hello Sir, In 2013, i got married and we are having a new-born baby.Before the engagement the girls family came to check my home and enquired about my salary , I said 30k per month and property details. Meanwhile they told about them like they are living in a rented home.No property in their name.They felt my family is too big for them. They said we can afford 25 savarans gold only to your son.Just becos of their family values,Girls good education/character we agreed though it is far less than my parents gave to our son-in-laws. The engagement/marriage happened smoothly at the expense my dad's money Rs.15 lakh including 12 savarans to my wife.In the marriage not even single rupee spent by my wife's side....I felt outrageous.I thought it is fair if the expenses shared between both parties... My mum looked after her nicely.She cooked variety of dishes to make her happy and gave very little work like cutting vegs/brooming home.Even after marriage my mum did shopping for her cloths n number of times/till 7th month we looked after the marriage.she gave a birth...My Mother is orthodox. So she was longing for some custom procedure like dress for diwali,bangle function as everyone liked ... Meanwhile i lost job temporarily so i asked my wife's family Rs.1Lakh to lend me and give you back when i get the job. They Said why the **** we need to help you. We are not supposed to give any money to you and there is custom procedure like giving anything on any festivals and we are expecting you to earn Rs.1 lakh per month. Little misunderstanding came between us.After birth they called me to take their daughter(My wife ) with me. I went on to talk them and said my wife has to take care all the work in the house and look after my mum's meals/washing/giving my parents respect.They said they can't do all of them.I Felt really bad.Because for financial they need my dad , cooking/cleaning/Looking after her they need my mum, to run family they need Rs.1lakh from me per month(though i said i earn Rs.30k per month)... All of these things running in my mind. So i said this doesn't work..Though i love my wife, i can't put my parents and myself in terrible working conditions to make her sit and roam around without doing nothing. I said we seperate... for that they demanding 4 times of gold what they gave + My property and put all three of us in jail for dowry harrashment. Though we are not expecting any money from them, Are we not entitled to any new-marriage customs/look after my parents.My parents are not supposed to do everything but they did all for care towards me and my wife.... But same thing i couldn't expect from my wife's side..... I am ready to give what they gave me, i take my baby's custody But need the money spent for my marriage and dont want to give any compensation for who did nothing to stick the marriage......... Please suggest me to save my parents money and my baby.
Asked 10 years ago in Family Law
Religion: Hindu
11 Answers
first you decide yourself what you want then you can proceed accordingly
I really didn't think of seperation when i got married. Now things are worse.. She is giving mental torture like whatever we do she supports her family knowing it is wrong.. Fights with my sister and my mother...She is with me just becos of money spent by us... she is very happy to take the money out of us. but vice versa is not happy one like doing some custom procedures... and she doesn't want to do any house work... I need answer for few questions : 1) I feel marriage is both parties joy and responsibility. Is the law says anywhere that Men side should take care of all marriage expenses ? 2)Is asking a girl to look after house work , like cleaning/washing/cooking and taking care of family members , criminal offence. 3) what we can expect from girls side financially after marriage like custom rituals like diwali/sankranti/bangle function expenses?
Asked 10 years ago
1) once you agreed to bear the marriage expenses you should not crib now . your family spent money out of their own free will .
2) cleaning /washing is maid job . your wife has to shoulder responsibilities like any other member of the house . she should help in cooking of meals .
3) dont have any expectations . the more expectations you have more you will be disappointed . be happy if your in laws wish your parents at time of these festivals .
Thank you Ajay.Great answer as per law.But in practical it works other way around most of the time. 1) We didn't agree to spend all expenses of the marriage neither verbally nor written.It was done by parents wish/care over me.If i file for divorce can i get the money back.. becos she is in the mood of getting divorce.... 2) Cleaning/Washing is not maids job.Good ? But my mum did nearly 36 yrs of all housework including cleaning/washing.then is she maid ? Someone has to come forward to do all the housework.who is gonna do that ? My mum is too old now. Can't i expect the same from my wife? It doesn't mean my wife is maid.but got to do the work done. 3)We are not expecting anything as cash from them... We are seeking pride by asking to do something that carries all along from our predecessor....If we can't expect why should they expect from us ? 4) Just in case,if we go for divorce, I am ready to give all her belongings including jewels...Can i get all expenses all the expenses we made on her back ?
Asked 10 years ago
1) no you wont get your money back
2) the days are gone when ladies did all the household work . every house has maid now . if you expect your wife to do cleaning , washing of clothes in 21 st century it is recipe for disaster .
3) you have to return all the jewels and other belongings . but you wont get expenses incurred for marriage
Sounds , law favors girls almost all the time... 1) If she wants to get divorced,after all giving all her belonings,in what proportion the compensation i need to give her is calculated ? 2) All of the properties we have is all earned by my dad.He can give to whomever he wants to ... Is it possilbe my dad can deny the property to my wife when she wants divorce ? and can he be compelled to give some share of his property ?
Asked 10 years ago
replied
Replied what ?
Asked 10 years ago
Sounds , law favors girls almost all the time... 1) If she wants to get divorced,after all giving all her belonings,in what proportion the compensation i need to give her is calculated ? 2) All of the properties we have is all earned by my dad.He can give to whomever he wants to ... Is it possilbe my dad can deny the property to my wife when she wants divorce ? and can he be compelled to give some share of his property ?
Asked 10 years ago
it has to be decided by both of you ,if not decided then it will be decided by court according to your family status
I cant understand ur reply... All of the properties we have is all earned by my dad.He can give to whomever he wants to ... Is it possilbe my dad can deny the property to my wife when she wants divorce ? and can he be compelled to give some share of his property ?
Asked 10 years ago
you have to keep in mind ,even if you do not earn then also you will have to pay alimony amount
1) your wife has no claim in your father property . your father cannot be forced to give any share in property to your wife .
2) what are your wife qualifications ? has she ever worked in past ? if wife is not working court will award her maintenance
1) whatever happens,that should either me or her not my family.thatswhy i asked whether she can claim any of my family(Dad's property) including the house were we staying. If the property is on my name,can she make a claim? 2) She is educated.Done her MBA and used to work as professor for decent salary till marriage.. But not now..She will get a job if she wants to .. 3) How the maintenance is calculated ? Based on my age/her age/my salary/her salary... Is there any other criteria ? 4) how long do i need to give the maintenace ? till life long.whatif she get married to another guy ?
Asked 10 years ago
I forgot to you credit for being so patient and answering my questions very responsibly.. Thank you Mr.Ajay Sethi..I am in turmoil . thats why i keep asking questions.its not just for me but for my parents and my kid.
Asked 10 years ago
thanks for your appreciation .
1) your wife wont get maintenance . harp on her qualifications , work experience
2) maintenance depend upon your income , wife income ,your life style .
3) if at all you have to pay maintenance it will cease if she remarries .
4) if you have any house in your name she has right to stay in matrimonial home
Thank you once again Mr.Ajay. i could see people value your answers more and so do i. My parents were nice to her and are now even.. Is there any possibities that they may endup behind bars.. Does she need to prove that in-laws did this and that ? Becos my mother expressed anger, though unintentional , out of some frustrated moments/ tension as she has to look after my whole family and annoyance by two sisters husbands and day-to-day life hectic. Girls expect cushion life in their husbands's life.. They bear scoldings from their parents/brothers/in work place. But even a single word at husbands' house make them upset ............Life is hell to cope all these things ..
Asked 10 years ago
1) no your parents wont land behind bars . your wife may file 498A case to harass you and your parents but you can obtain Anticipatory bail from court on filing of FIR
2) In DV case there is no arrest . any case filed by wife has to be contested on merits .
3) among hindus marriage is a sacrament . both husband and wife have to work hard to make marriage work . if there are any problems consult a marriage counsellor
Thank you Mr. Ajay. you gave me all valuable information.. This would defend myself and my family.... Can i have your phone number if possible.... Just i case if she filed any case,not so far, i might get your help...
Asked 10 years ago
thanks for your appreciation . if you have any further queries you can raise on this website . you can also request for phone consultation . my contact details are available on the website