Dear Sir,
Tell your in-laws that you will not receive any cash payment. Tell them if it is a dream for them to give their daughter they can give it to her not during the wedding. They can settle the money in her personal account.
If it is family jewellery, there is nothing you can do, as it will go the bride.
If it is tv/fridge/furniture, you can tell them that all the rooms in your house are already furnished and if you want to buy furniture later you and your wife will purchase according to your need and taste then.
My guess is, if they are denied the "show-off" factor during the wedding, they will not be very interested to otherwise give dowry.
Everyone wants a happy family whether it is joint or nuclear.
But yes harmony is the most important thing.
If its become really problematic to deal with your in laws then you left with no other option.
Husband and wives tuning plays a very important role. But in arranged marriages, it takes time for a couple to understand each other. There are always two sides of a coin. I have seen many mothers who genuinely takes advantage of their sons love for them. Its natural that a mother want his son to be like the way he used to be before marriage. They become insecure and then start doing things that really creates problem for a newly wed gal. On the other hand,the girl who left everyone for her husband wants to be his first priority for obvious reason.
Here the role of husband/son is very crucial. He should not be partial towards anyone and takes the right side.
In fact a son-in-law is treated like a celebrity at his parent-in-laws. The house goes through a transformation when he is there - starting from his favorite food being cooked to all aspects of his relaxed and comfortable stay being taken care of.
What exactly did he do to deserve such a privileged treatment ?
In today’s world both men and women are independent, earning and have equal responsibilities.