• Refusing to accept thing from in laws

We have a love marriage and we only two live together, my wife frim a rich family. She and her parents force me to keep their servant and car for her dougher at my house. But i do not eant to accept thus. Can i legally say my in laws to not provide such things
Asked 4 years ago in Family Law
Religion: Hindu

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18 Answers

You can  legally deny to keep servant provided by your in laws because it shall have some effect in your daily life,  but not to the car, if parking of the car be not a major issue. Because it shall be between your wife and her father and you shall  have no legal right to raise any objections to the matter. 

Kallol Majumdar
Advocate, Kolkata
2837 Answers
14 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Car and servant is provided for your wife convenience 

 

you should not  make an issue just because her parents want to provide some comforts for their daughter 

 

it would un necessary strain your relationship 

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
94522 Answers
7485 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1. Marriage does not work on the basis of legal permissibility but on mutual understanding , love , trust and faith.

2. So if you want their servant to stay away from you there is no hurdle in it. The law does not say either in your favour or against you on this.

3. If you have reasonable reservations against such things then you can stop them. otherwise if the servant and car is meant for convenience of your wife there is no harm in allowing them.

Devajyoti Barman
Advocate, Kolkata
22779 Answers
484 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Yes you can deny your in-laws as giving such gifts can be equivalent to dowry and you can refuse on ground that you don't want any gift/dowry from them. Also it is an offence to give and receive dowry.

Shubham Jhajharia
Advocate, Ahmedabad
25514 Answers
179 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

See you can deny live separately and peacefully on your own , if they are intimidating or file threatens you for false case you can file police complaint against them.

Also you don't have to submit to there command you should talk to your wife if she is ready to live peacefully then it's good otherwise it's upon you to.continue or not with this relationship.

Shubham Jhajharia
Advocate, Ahmedabad
25514 Answers
179 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Your wife's such attitude and behavior to you and your family members shall be considered as cruel activities on her part. 

You can file contested divorce petition based on such cruelty. 

Kallol Majumdar
Advocate, Kolkata
2837 Answers
14 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Dear Sir, 

The best course which you can adopt is start living with your parents and if she forces for servant, engage him for their benifits. 

Find faults in his work 

Insist for changing. Ask identification and other means to trouble. 

This would bring her to right track.

Anand Shukla
Advocate, New Delhi
666 Answers
14 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

Wife forcing husband to stay separate from parents amounts to mental cruelty and is ground for divorce 

 

2) wife abusing husband amounts to mental cruelty and is ground for divorce 

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
94522 Answers
7485 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

You and your wife have all the liberty to say no to any gift from your in laws it is up to you to accept any gift and that cannot be forced to you to keep in case you do not wish to take any support from your in laws then you can go ahead and say no your in laws for any gift there is no provision in the law to force a gift on any person if he is not willing to take that

Vimlesh Prasad Mishra
Advocate, Lucknow
6852 Answers
23 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

Yes you have every right you refuse the same they can't force you you keep all such things without your will

Prashant Nayak
Advocate, Mumbai
31807 Answers
175 Consultations

4.1 on 5.0

Dear Sir,

Tell your in-laws that you will not receive any cash payment. Tell them if it is a dream for them to give their daughter they can give it to her not during the wedding. They can settle the money in her personal account.
If it is family jewellery, there is nothing you can do, as it will go the bride.
If it is tv/fridge/furniture, you can tell them that all the rooms in your house are already furnished and if you want to buy furniture later you and your wife will purchase according to your need and taste then.
My guess is, if they are denied the "show-off" factor during the wedding, they will not be very interested to otherwise give dowry.

Everyone wants a happy family whether it is joint or nuclear.

But yes harmony is the most important thing.

If its become really problematic to deal with your in laws then you left with no other option.

Husband and wives tuning plays a very important role. But in arranged marriages, it takes time for a couple to understand each other. There are always two sides of a coin. I have seen many mothers who genuinely takes advantage of their sons love for them. Its natural that a mother want his son to be like the way he used to be before marriage. They become insecure and then start doing things that really creates problem for a newly wed gal. On the other hand,the girl who left everyone for her husband wants to be his first priority for obvious reason.

Here the role of husband/son is very crucial. He should not be partial towards anyone and takes the right side.

In fact a son-in-law is treated like a celebrity at his parent-in-laws. The house goes through a transformation when he is there - starting from his favorite food being cooked to all aspects of his relaxed and comfortable stay being taken care of.
What exactly did he do to deserve such a privileged treatment ?

In today’s world both men and women are independent, earning and have equal responsibilities.

Netravathi Kalaskar
Advocate, Bengaluru
4952 Answers
27 Consultations

4.8 on 5.0

After hearing both of ur comments ... I would tell you to be cunning... Accept the car and servant. What's the harm in it.. she will drive and not you. If she asks you to drive then ram it in some wall. Misbehave with the servant so he she will not stay. If she argues with you then scream on her.. later say sorry but don't accept her requests. Play all this with mind ... Just ensure that in society or in front of others, behave like most obedient and loving and helpful person. If she complains about you to somebody then show that she is lying and you don't do any such thing ... .. go and meet your parents whenever you want ... You need not to tell her anything. 

She is Rich and if she is working then she will not be able to claim maintenance if the matter goes to litigation. But courts can go anywhere so don't take things for granted. 

Main thing is that you do whatever you want. Use your mind to achieve your goals.. more than legal, it's mind game.

Regards

Gopender

Gopender
Advocate, New Delhi
384 Answers

4.9 on 5.0

- As per Supreme Court, the demand for money and presents from the family of wife ,at the time of birth of child or for other ceremonies cannot be categorised as dowry to make it punishable offence.

- Since, her parents are trying to arrange facility for her daughter , but this will not come under the category of Persents , It may be treated as Dowry in case of matrimonial disputes.

- But , other side , you should have trust on your wife for passing a healthy life further, and your wife is also on the wrong side as she is maiking this minor dispute as critical.

- You should take an undertaking from her , that all this facilities/presents of car or servant is accepting by her and not by her husband , and further this presents provided by her parents will not be treated as Dowry.

Mohammed Shahzad
Advocate, Delhi
13095 Answers
195 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Dear you cannot deny to the gift from In-laws legally because there is no legal provision for refusing the gifts. 

You should get separated from the lady as she can harass you in future by false litigation against you in matrimonial disputes.

Mohit Kapoor
Advocate, Rohtak
10687 Answers
7 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

According to decision of Hon'ble Supreme Court in Narendra vs. K.Meena a wife cannot force her husband to leave his parents' home and live separately without any justifiable cause. In this case also you are entitled to take divorce from her on ground of cruelty.

Mohammed Mujeeb
Advocate, Hyderabad
19299 Answers
32 Consultations

4.7 on 5.0

It is your own will and wish to accept or refuse the facility extended by your in laws.

You can refuse to accept them and can inform them to not to send any such things in future too to anyone.

If atl all your wife is not cooperating you can ask her to leave the house because this may create a rift between you both and also this may affect the cordial relationship among everyone.

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
84711 Answers
2172 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

As I had expressed my opinion earlier that it is purely your own decision to accept the gifts or the facilities extended by your parents in law or to totally refuse them.

There is no binding on you to accept them.

If your wife is not cooperating with you in this regard and refuses nto live with you if you do not want to accept them, then you can start living separately away from her.

If she is refusing to give her willingness for mutual consent divorce then you can file a contested divorce also.

Lert she agistate or become furious over your legal action, you can make her realise that you are a self respected and dignified person and not a slave in any one's hands.

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
84711 Answers
2172 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Dear Concern,

Please note - 

01. Although there is nothing codified to deal with your situation but then there are several other ways available to deal with this situation. 

02. First among all, you can have a meeting (informal family meeting) to settle down all these issues raised by you. Something which happens in every house every now and then to discuss anything. If that is not working in your favour then see as to what all is being demanded from the side of your wife and your in-laws and agree to it on the ground that it has to be in writing. Of course there is no need to take it in writing that there will be a servant at your house on the expenses incurred by your in-laws but all the remaining articles and items which are being offered to you can be in writing stating that - (i) they are giving it your wife so that she can use it and live her life comfortably, and (ii) they are giving these things on their own free will and you have never forced them for anything. This way you will be saved from any case which may come up under Dowry Prohibition Act

03. Refuse to live with them at their premise and stay where you are. No one can force you to change your decision.

04. If you not happy with your marriage in totality then file an application for divorce and contest it in against your wife. In no possible situation anyone can compel you to live with someone. Prepare a date sheet (dates corresponding to incidents happened on that date) relating to your case right from the beginning as to how your marriage came into picture and how did it went sour and what is the current position. Mark all such dates with corresponding proof which can back your story. Meet a good advocate and he will assist you further to come out of this mess.  

Pulkit Prakash
Advocate, Delhi
309 Answers
7 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

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