I have filed DV case and section 498a against my husband with no response
I Ms. Sheuli Mukherjee W/o Mr. Amit Bhatia D/o Sri Ashok Kumar Mukherjee Age : 34 years, R/o Flat no. 101, Sloka Residency, 1-2-62/2, Plot no. 11/1, Block M, Lane adj. to Kakateeya nagar, Habsiguda, Hyderabad – 7. My husband and myself got engaged in 2005 after the reluctant acceptance of both the families. Their guruji fixed the match stating that we were made for each other. We got married after a year of getting engaged. My parents had given furnitures like bed, sofa and all kitchen articles and gold jewellery in terms of dowry though it was not enough for them. Problems had started seeping in quite before that. We being a middle class Bengali Brahmin family and they being the quintessential rich Punjabis the discontent was over the class we belonged to and to conform to their give and take basis of money exchange which happens n weddings.
In our family, we generally tend to give furniture and basic essentials apart from jewellery in marriage however according to their custom there is a lot of give and take expected from bride’s family in terms of envelopes of money to be given to respective relations of inlaws which we failed to give because of my father’s modest salary. This was just the beginning. Later, they refused to give consent for the marriage certificate. Amit’s father cited the reason that Hindus don’t get a marriage certificate and this certificate is only for Christian community. I pointed out that in June edition of Times of India in 2006 Court had ruled out a judgement that every couple should be entitled to having marriage certificate irrespective of the religion, caste or creed. Finally we got our marriage certificate on much persuasion in 2008 after much persuasion from my parents.
My father in law had a kidney problem and used to undergo dialysis frequently when I got married till he passed away in 2008. In the initial year of marriage, they had always suggested that I leave the job which I never wanted to. I lost my job in Feb 2006 where I was working with Genpact. In the next two months, I had taken a education load which I had to pay off and I asked my husband to pay it off and give me some money for travel to and fro to offices for interview. I finally got selected in my current company which is Ivy Comptech Pvt Ltd in May 2006. After a month of joining he collected the money he had spent on me in the past two months which is ideally a husband’s responsibility. This has been continuously happening that I in my meagre salary take care of all my expenses and he only takes care of my daughters’ expenses which I have forced him to take care of as a duty. Even then he refuses to take care of their day care expenses citing that its my choice to do a job hence he is not entitled to pay for their day care and that I should bear that expense.
When I got a new job in Ivy Comptech as per their rules I cannot take leave for 6 months which is the probation period however because of my father in laws condition and he being an emotional son he used to frequent Nagpur his native and force me to take leave for the same. For some time I made some excuse in the company and took leave and but later on I resented which became a major source of discontent. We being from multicultural backgrounds, we have had our own differences in the way things are said and done and prepared. He becomes very psychic when he loses his mind. There was an instance when he asked me to prepare bread and jam. I put jam on one side of the bread and served him and he beat me black and blue stating that in his house, they put jam on both sides of the bread. One week end he went to Nagpur to visit his parents and came back. I had a tendency to write diaries and my thoughts. When he came back he read my diary when I was doing some work in the kitchen. In the diary I had penned my thoughts as to how my MIL illtreats me and fills her sons ears. Even my MIL’s mother in law had complained to me about her how she had mistreated her. As I cannot share my angst I wrote it down in the diary. After secretly reading the diary he was furious on the way I thought how his mother was and banged my head on the wall and I fell unconscious. My friends came up the next day and I had to cover the story. He always had this thing at the back of his mind that we did not come from a rich background and his mother would constantly infuse him about the same and this is what she and her family is supposed to do.
They put a restriction on my parents stating that I should not tell my woes to my parents as their guruji told them that my parents were a negative influence on me and I should stay clear of them. When I went to Nagpur they would count the hours and call me back asap. My first child was born in 2007 Oct in Nagpur. I had a dispute that as my relationship was strained I did not want to mentally strain myself in my pregnancy days by going to Nagpur and having a delivery. There also, my MIL put a condition that in our tradition you have to deliver in our place. According to my modernistic thoughts rules can be tweaked according to circumstances. I went to Nagpur for my delivery against my will. My mother in law was very possessive of my child and used to take her for long hours away from me and mentally torture me which for me a new mother I was disgruntled to say the least and I used to insist that I come back to Hyderabad. There were quite a few disputes because of that in 2007. My husband had a disgruntled relation for some time with my mother in law when he got to know that my mother in law was having an affair with my father in laws friend Mr. Mishra. He used to rebuke my mother in law citing that I also don’t like her and stuff. However I never personally misbehaved with my MIL and spoke ill with her though I don’t like her personally. She came to me shouting that this is the way you repay me and stuff for taking care of the baby though it was not my fault. Their personal enmity was totally their angle of distress. There were a lot of misunderstandings created by my husband and mother in law collectively.
After I came back to Hyderabad post my first delivery, I was challenged with my daughter going to day care or being taken care of by maid or my leaving the job. Though initially they wanted me to leave the job now they wanted me to work desperately as my husband was not in a very cushy job. So my mother in law insisted that she send a maid which I don’t like coz I like to give the babies personal touch rather than relegate them to the service of the maids. So then we collectively called my mother over as my mother in law was taking care of my father in law and moreover being rich she could not multitask and cook and take care the way my mother could. Initially my husband was ok but then my mother in law started infusing thoughts in my husband that it is not in our culture that daughters mother comes and stays with us for longer periods. She had sent a maid for some time to help with the other work and my mother can supervise the baby but she had asked the maid not to listen to my mother and do as instructed by my mother in law. Once some money went missing from my husband’s wallet and instead of questioning the maid he questioned my mother. My mother felt insulted and wanted to leave but I cited that this is how he is torturing you so that you leave and moreover I need her presence more than he as he never took care of any responsibility of any child. Only financial support for education was what he gave at my insistence. He became quite abusive insisting on me to find some other way as that is not their culture. When I resisted he used to beat me black and blue and when my mother came to defend me he raised his hands against her and pushed her and asked her to get out. Fortunately a police inspector was staying in the vicinity at that point of time (Flat no. 301, Lotus height apts, St no.8, habsiguda)and we advocated that we will call him so he stopped.
Basically the reasons for the marital discord has been multiple starting from my not willing to go to Nagpur his and my then native place for my delivery due to adjustment problem with inlaws to time and again extra marital affair by him to him forcing my elder daughter to go to Nagpur for a month in summers alone against her wish to my parents not giving them much monetarily during marriage and citing that always for the last many year. As I have a meagre income and he not supporting me quite I am forced to borrow money from my colleagues. He smirks and remarks and I being from a family of poor beggars am following the legacy. He has nick named me as a beggar and used to call me a beggar instead of providing me comforts he expected me to meet all his needs.
I currently have two kids:
1. Mokshita Bhatia (7.5 years)
2. Muskaan Bhatia (2.5 years)
My husband was working with me in Genpact till 2005.
He joined the following companies:
2006: Joined Franklin Templeton
2010: Joined BNP Paribas Chennai
2011: Joined Cognizant Hyderabad
2012: Joined EXL Services, Noida
Since August 2014, he was out of job doing small errands; In September 2014, he joined Amrit solutions a company founded by one of his friends and he parted ways coz he had a discord with the owner.
In between this, he was involved in doing Amway business with me. But he had a major fallout with everyone associated with Amway and hence he stopped doing the business as well.
In most of the companies he has been asked to quit because of his attitude. I’ve worked in Genpact till 2006 post which I was working with Ivy Comptech Pvt Ltd where I chose to work coz it gave me a high work life balance but offered me meagre salary. I chose not to concentrate on my career because I was more interested in the welfare and good upbringing of my children.
Over the years my husband’s abuses have ranged from verbal abuses to physical ones. I’d always kept mum because I had this thought that my salary was not sufficient to sustain my two kids. Apart from the abuses he is an absolute alcoholic. He needs his glass of drink every night to get a good sleep. While he was out of job he used to consume alcohol throughout the night and sleep throughout the day. My kids are small and even if they make some noise he would beat them and if I protest against the abuse he would beat me black and blue. He has no repentance for whatever he has done till date or gratitude for what he has. He even tried to physically abuse my parents when they were in Hyderabad. My mother was down with swine flu when she came here in February 2015 however he continuously misbehaved with her to the extent she went back after a week of discharge from the hospital unable to bear his mental tortures. For the last two years when he was in Noida, he only used to pay the house EMIs and electricity bill. The rest of the expenses were being borne by me irrespective of whether he has a job or not.
In December 2014, in an inebriated state, he punched me in the eye and I have the last layer of cornea on my eyes as my eyes were operated upon through Radial keratotomy. My eyes could have got damaged but thankfully I survived that attempt and beat me with a bump on my head. Apart from this he threatens to throw me out of the house which is a joint property and threatens to keep my daughters away from me. I had a counselling session with him in Dec 2014 on 15/12/2014 on grounds of severe and repeated physical abuse. In the counselling session thereafter he promised not to drink and abuse but he continued to do so.
My elder kid Mokshita has developed a psychological problem and bed wets when she thinks and hears of her father. She says she will never marry in her life and hates him to the core and questions me as to why I married him. I do not want to instil negative thought s in young mind and let her think that every relationship is an abusive one.
He did not have a proper job until 19th March. He was exhausting his reserves on his drinks and the EMI’s. I had to pay all the sundry bills even the snacks which come with drinks. If I am not able to provide money for running the household he would ask to bring it from my parents. On Friday 13/03/2015, we had an argument over the monetary problem when he tried to overpower me by throttling my neck to the point that my throat got choked. I was not able to eat a morsel of food because of the pain in the throat. He abused me black and blue and also broke my glasses to the point where my eyes could have been damaged. On 16th March I filed an FIR (Case no. 136/2015 against him) . On 19th March 2015, he packed his bags and moved to Coimbatore. He did not inform me which company but from the internet browsing history I can assume that he is working for HCL Coimbatore.
Right now he is not staying with us but there is a looming threat that he can come back to Hyderabad for some time and threaten me for the case filed
Yesteday, one of the mediators from his side, said they want an affidavit of compromise wherein i will put conditions that he will pay the entire expenditure of the family, education exp, no drinking and no violence and if anything vilolated will be prosecuted? Is this affidavit thing valid in the court of law? I'd filed a complaint with NCW and they had forwarded it to the commissioner of police but still no response
Asked in Family Law from Hyderabad, Telangana
1) you have a very abusive husband . immediately file a domestic violence complaint against him and seek protection order .
2) you should also seek maintenance for the children and alternative accommodation .
3) it is better you also file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty . narrate the incidents mentioned by you in the query .
4) if your husband does not contest you will get divorce .
5) in the laternative file for divorce by mutual consent .
6) you can also file 498A case against your husband and MIL for dowry harassment
1. The affidavit, if signed by you, can be the basis of a legal separation through a joint motion for divorce.
2. Once the affidavit is signed and filed in the court it will be binding on both the parties. If he does not fulfill the promises incorporated by him in the affidavit then he can indeed be prosecuted and punished.
3. If the terms of settlement are not acceptable to you then you may reject it and continue your cases in the court.
4. You can on your own file a case for maintenance in the court to get financial support for yourself and our children.
It appears some sort of amicable settlement is going to happen.
There is no harm if your husband makes such affidavit and start making you payment towards maintenance.
However only because he is filing an affidavit, you do not withdraw the case unless and until he gains confidence of yours.
During this time I would not recommend you to go for 498A case.
It will be better to settle the matter before mediation center and if he will violated the terms and condition of the settlement then he may be prosecuted under contempt of court too.
Advocate, New Delhi
1. What is your question actually?
2. You shall have to decide whether you eill continue to have relationship with him of terminate it,
3. If you want to continue, get the affidavit from him stating that he will not cruelly abuse you physically any further and is sorry for what he has done, not drink any more etc etc., and get the affidavit notarised,
4. Keep the said affidavit safely in a seperate place to use it in future if required,
5. If you do not want to continue, file a DV case seeking maintenance,
6. You can also file a divorce petition seeking hand some alimony from him.