I am under immense trauma & stress as my wife having a 3 year old daughter filed O.P in madras family court in March 2018. Used to live with wife and kid in Mumbai in joint property whereas in laws stay in Madras. My parents are old with health issues and stay separately from us in another Mumbai suburb. They have their own house. Moreover due to our differences and fights, my parents asked us to find another place as it was affected their health & mental peace. Wife has alleged that my father raised hand on her and my mother didnt give her food, proper place in married home. Main reason is that I have not been stable in my career since our marriage in 2011 and shifted jobs very often. I was asked to leave in July 2017 from real estate sales job and hid this by lies from my wife and father in law as they are very money minded, manipulative, bullying nature. Besides this, I am having depression problem and taking antidepressant pills for quite a while my wife didn't know at time of marriage. Wife asked me not to take these pills so I hsd to stop them abruptly. In laws believe in maintaining their status and lavish lifestyle wheras I come from middle class family. My lies and pretence was caught in Oct 2017 as I was doing a false call to office and they caught it. I was then abused verbally and physically assaulted, emotionaly blackmailed, when in laws came to our house. Blamed I dont even care about my own daughter by not giving her food, money, healthy environment for her. In laws then closed our joint bank accounts, took copies of my aadar card, pan card & passport and other savings of mine forcibly. I was driven away from the flat and said to my daughter not to come near me. Till date they have not let me meet my daughter or even talk to her on phone. In laws keep saying to remove name from joint flat and gift it to my daughter future/security. Besides this have asked me to find a job with high salary to fulfil wife, daughter needs. I have been to madras court 4 times this year, twice for mediation which didn't go in my favor, once to get petition copy and once when wife didn't turn up. She has a good lawyer representing her wheaas I don't have finances to get a lawyer at madras court. I am now taking care of my aged parents at my parents house but our condition is very bad mentally & financially. Wife also didn't allow me to keep relation with my own parents for more than 3 years after leaving my parents home due to which my relation with parents also affected. I have stopped communication with my friends colleagues thinkung about this shocking incident and keep blaming myself . Kindly advice I have not yet filed my response in court and next hearing is 29 Nov 2018. I am now in total distress , pain as I can't even see and meet my daughter I love her v much.I want reconciliation and my wife wants divorce.
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This situation is affecting my & my parents health. For their safety, we have made writen complaint at locak police station but asked not to take any action as we don't know how in laws will react. I just dont know what to tell my wife and in laws to get their confidence and trust back. My parents have also been verbally abused by them in the past. Currently I earn 21k monthly peanuts whereas my highest monthly was 90k in last job where I was askd to leave. What can be done to save this marriage I just can't forget and live without my daughter its been a year now I have been separated from them since Nov 2017 and O.p was filed in March 2018??
Sir firstly file a reply on next date denying all the allegations and further stating wife has lied before the court. Also file a petition for child custody alternatively praying for visitation rights.
Further see in my opinion you should try it with her for solving issue and continuing marriage forndaughter if it works it will good and if doesn't then it is better to take mutual divorce rather then contesting her contested divorce.
You please find out the realities and get rid out from the present situations. Don't be panic and make your mind be stable. Now the money and trust have big role in your life. Please do understand that you entered in to new life and new situations. A life after Marriage is quite similar. There will always be unexpected changes and challenges in life, and you and your spouse need to be able to work through them together. Be open and honest. There are going to be times that you need to bring up issues that might be uncomfortable or difficult, but you have to do it. Think about what you might say beforehand.
Many of us have in-laws who are very different from ourselves, and at times it’s difficult to see eye-to-eye. But it is important to have the best relationship you can with your father and mother-in-law. Think about the ways you can welcome them into your new family composed of you and your spouse.
You can manage the things but you may prepare to do for that do it in wise and proper way. Every couple has different ideas about how to make money work best in their marriage. After all, you will not have the option of breaking up over a petty issue once you get married. And, patience is the key to a successful marriage. You become cautious of what you say. Obviously, you are new to this family, and anything wrong said by you might hurt them. You not only learn to convey your feelings in a calmer manner, but you also excel in the art of listening. Do not panic! These will soon become a part of your life and you will totally love your new role in life.
In the present situation you will conduct the case. If you have money problems for appoinint a lawyer then approach Legal service authority, they can help you and appoint a lawyer for conducting your case. Tamil Nadu State Legal Services Authority,North Fort Road, High Court Campus, Chennai - 600 104
The same time find out a good job, and make money then only think about see your child .
For seeing your child you can file a custody application before the family court.
Guardian and wards card are empowered to determine the issue of child custody. Mothers and fathers both have a prominent role to play in supporting the growth and development of their children. The basic opinion of the child and the mother is highly ignored while determining the custody of the child. Family law courts generally base decisions on the best interests of the child or children (welfare of children), not always on the best arguments of each parent.
1. Permanent Custody-is awarded by the Court after determination of all aspect of the case. Prime Criterion before awarding final custody in favour of one spouse as against the other is WELAFRE OF THE CHILD
2. Interim Custody- is awarded by the Court during the pendency of the case before it. Generally, the Court awards interim custody when such an order does not affect the over all development of the child and same is in no wayprejudicial to the interest of the minor. Court tries to bring equilibrium between the husband and wife and also keeps a vigilant eye that the child should not become shuttle cock between warring spouses. While awarding interim custody, Court has power to impose certain conditions which could be deposition of passport of minor, if any and/or direct the party to deposit its own passport so that the child could not be removed from the jurisdiction of the Court.
3. Visitation Right also allowed by the court after hearing the petition .
1) you can in divorce petition filed by wife seek joint custody of your daughter
2) if for purchase of flat full consideration has been paid by you file declaratory suit that you are absolute owner of the flat
3) file detailed reply denying allegations in divorce petition
4) engage a local lawyer in madras
seek joint custody of your daughter
2) court would award you visitation rights at least
3).contest divorce proceedings
4) contested proceedings take 5 years to be disposed of
I understand the situation that you are goind through but you must understand that there is no court or law by means of which the wife can be forced to live with you.
It is good that you have filed a complaint in the police so that if thye raise any false allegations then you may defend the same.
Also, you may file a petition for taking the custody of the child, as an interim measure you will get the visitation rights so that you may visit your daughter regularly.
Regards