Hi , I am an MBA, reside in mumbai. I got married one and half year before, at the time of marriage i was working and my husband was doing MBA ( full time ), i was told that after completion of MBA he will do a Job, i took a break due to wedding and after marriage i joined a company again and here i am working here a Sr Manager HR since more then a year however even after completion of MBA my husband is not working anywhere in fact it seems he is not serious about his carrier and he is just assisting his dad in family business of News papers. i am not able to find the kind of growth into his profile as the entire business is being handled by his elder brother and Dad so he role is not having any kind of weightage as such. top of it i am being appreciated and growing in my carrier. somewhere down the line i felt he is having kind of inferiority complex wd me due to which he gets irritated , frustrated and used very wrong terms/ language for me . even scolded me many a times. It's been a month before again he misbehaved with me so i decided to come at my mom's house. his parents not even bother to call me or working out for solution, they are even not getting involved to get things out and my husband is telling me to come back along with my parents to sort everything. it even seems that he is not realizing what he does. my parents are not agree on this and they told me to stay back as long things won't sort . can you please guide me on this as i am finding it very difficult to handle such kind of situation.
Hello,
I understand the situation that you are in.
Also, I would advise you to sort out things with your husband if possible.
If it is impossible to live with him then you may prefer a divorce petition on the ground of mental cruelty.
You have good grounds to file a case of divorce against your husband.
Regards
1) visit family counselor with your husband to resolve your differences
2) if situation does not improve file for divorce by mutual consent . it takes maximum 6 months
3) contested divorce cases take 5 years to be disposed of
I think you should take steps towards improving your strained ties with your husband. Maybe, your baby steps in this positive direction would give the encouragement to your husband to act as well. When things improve slightly, you both can attend joint counseling sessions with an expert marriage therapist. To my understanding, things will improve the minute your husband becomes independent and takes up some employment.
Legally speaking, you can file a petition for restitution of conjugal rights against your husband. But in my advise, you must try the above first, before taking any legal recourse against your husband.
Dear Client,
No legal solution at this stage.
Until he will not work and get the feel of self dependent, things will not improve and by time it will stale and his zest will decline and frustration increase seeing you growing and self dependent.
Convince him , if not want to do job than at least grow his presence and influence in business.
Longer this situation will exits , possibility of improvement will diminish.
Answerd by Adv kavery Anand Bangalore dear client.. ur husband tell that come back. And he is not realising what he done.. then put a condition that ... U finished Ur MBA .. now u find a good job .. and behav properly with me then only I will come back...
Pl give RATING and feedback for appreciation
Mam, in my view the things are still in control and with a little effort and understanding the marriage can work, if the husband is ready to work and appreciate your position as your working and doing good.
if not for abusing and crulety file a case under DV act and further seek divorce on ground of the cruelty from him or further if he is ready to settle take a mutual divorce. But a this point of time what i feel and suggest is go for marriage counselling and can settle your marriage.
Dear,
You don't need any legal suggestion you need a friend.
In this situation i suggest you to talk with your husband calmly and said
whatever in your mind and said him to relies on your problem also.\
Please don't go there with your parent's because they will defiantly insult them.
But if it is possible for your father than your father should talk to your father on phone line.
You are well settled and you have many contacts also, so use it and find a reputed job in
big company for your husband.
don't create gap in relationship, talk with each other.
Due to unfulfilled needs and desires, matrimonial disputes occur which can ruin one’s life and can’t be restored again very quickly. It leaves a profound impact on the life of people having marital disputes which leads to divorce. Marital conflicts are inevitable. They are not just a difference of opinion, rather, are a series of events that have been poorly handled to damage the marriage relationship deeply. Everyone has their personal preferences and self-interests. If the marriage relationship is to succeed, ideals of compromise and sacrifice need to be practiced. But it is not always right to give in. The marriage relationship grows stronger and healthier only when couples lovingly share and discuss their interests and show a willingness to sacrifice for each other.
Try to resolve your disputes with elders of both the families and dont move to the court , if any spouse moves to court then issue will become more complicated .
1. Eventually you have to decide what you want.
2. From the facts mentioned by you a case of mental cruelty by your husband is not made out. No court can force him to find a job.
3. Your marriage may be saved if both of you seek the advise of a marriage counsellor.
This is my response to you:
1. Clearly there is a marriage problem between you both, therefore you should both approach a marriage counselor;
2. Then you can appoint a mediator (preferably a lawyer) and try to amicably settle the matter;
3. If the same does not resolve then approach the court for judicial separation;
4. If there is irretrievable breakdown of marriage then only go for mutual consent divorce;
5. MCD is a simple process than contested divorce;
6. So approach a local lawyer and take legal assistance.
Have you spoken to your husband about his unemployment status?
Did you talk to his father about it?
What about your salary income, are they insisting you to hand it over to them?
Your parents should initiate talks with his parents about this situation especially considering the future of your married life with him.
If he is sitting idle or pretends to help his father in his business, it may not be good sign.
Since you are in your parents house, you may better handle patience for the time being.
Remain silent for him to realise and come back to you or do something to reconcile the differences.
The passage of a substantial time between you both without any communication and dead silence may yield some result.
No doubt you will be stressed mentally due to this, but for getting a result you may have to force yourself to remain silent and wait confidently about a good result and future.
1) You both should visit family counselor and tell your issues.
2) Or why don't you talk straight forward with your husband regarding his carrier issue.
3) If he is MBA easily he can get job any where or you take initiatives to setup his own business and support him.
4) One should have communication in straight line so when there is action there will be reaction too.
5) If you stay at your parents house things will be worst day by day, you have to fight this COLD WAR by staying at your matrimonial house.
Do let us know if you require any further assistance.
