Seek support and urgent help in understanding how to proceed further with the caption issue. Me n my husband come from a working class background. Mine is a love marriage and i am a Saraswat Brahman married in a punjabi family since a decade. Initially she was upset that i was of a non punjabi community.
In this relationship except my husband support(my pillar of strength), i have not been having any mental peace and have been victimized of my MIL suspicious behavior (which at times have turned out to be physical as she has been violent with me, however no records available to prove)all this while.
It is imperative to highlight that FIL passed away much before my marriage and my MIL is suffering from mental illness since last 35 yrs & consuming tablets like {Lithosun 300 mg(anti-depressant etc)}. Infact to safeguard herself she has destroyed her last 35 years of medical records, so that we should not challenge her psyche.She has a habit to blackmailing whenever things go beyond her wish. Infact i want to explain, since last 10 years of marriage, me n my husband have never gone out for dinner or to any social gatherings as a couple. We thought by sacrificing our couple hood for her, anticipating that by doing this at-least we can avoid quarrels and keep her happy and avoid stressful environment. As per her past behavior traits, she has once attempted to consume over dosage of tablets on a simple quarrel between my brother in law & herself. So we all are very scared and worried that she might again attempt to do similar thing and tarnish our reputation & social presence.Since last 7.5 years she was staying with us and beyond being DIL and SON we have other roles to perform i.e being parents, engaging in society and meeting friends(social commitments). She started bitching about us to our 8 year old elder daughter (i have 3 daughters) and negatively influence her & society that we don't love our daughter and we are ignoring her. Me and my husband both work and we slog our selves out in fulfilling family needs as we have no ancestral funds or property to back us. We have taken home loan etc. Now in-spite of knowing that she(once upon a time) has been given electric shocks and ever since then she is consuming anti-depressants. Her relatives support my MIL, moreover under some relatives guidance she has started writing open letters to us with a copy to other relatives informing that we are disobedient, we misbehave with her, we have kept her as domestic help at home & other baseless allegations. And threatening us to take political support(being senior citizen) if we don't bring her back home.
Pls help as considering her mental state & her unwillingness to get treated by senior Dr., we (husband and wife) & my (BIL& his wife) have decided that we cant stay with her, as she can be a serious threat to my/their kid(s) & self. Request solution which is mutually safe & doable as we are ready to pay her monthly maintenance.1) take her to psychiatrist
2) she needs treatment for her mental illness
3) if she refuses shift to rented flat
4) let relatives who support her stay with her
5)?file complaint under DV act and seek protection order against your MIL
6) contact a local lawyer
Hello,
there is no point of approaching the court or the police in this case. I would advise you to give her an accommodation and a domestic help and accordingly you may give her some monthly expenditure and then you may move out of her society and live separately.
Just intimate this to the local police station so that if anything happens then you are protected. Also, you may tell a local NGO for some help and if they can help you in getting her treated from some good doctor.
I hope I have been of some help to you, let me know if some further discussion on this is required.
Regards
Thanks for your prompt revert, however appended are few observation to the suggested approach :- Take her to psychiatrist : We approached ex-dean of the Thane mental hospital for treatment, she initially agreed but later she became reluctant and refuse to visit the doctor again. Further she went back to the old medication on her own. 3) if she refuses shift to rented flat - We cant afford (with existing home loan & educational expenses of kids) to have rented accommodation for her alone as it involves various other factors i.e domestic help,monthly electricity bill,maintenance etc. Moreover if she stays alone there is high possibility that she under the influence of depression may harm herself. 4) let relatives who support her stay with her : She has already written in her letter,that relatives who are supporting her are already advanced senior citizen and therefore they cant take responsibility of my MIL and they will not be responsible for any mishap and her sons would be responsible. 5)file complaint under DV act and seek protection order against your MIL:How to do this? Also please advise if we need to respond to her letter and if yes then should we respond directly or take assistance from local lawyer & let him send a response on his letter head. Thanks once again !
I would not advise you to approach the police or court.
However, the same shall be considered by you as the last recourse.
file complaint under DV act and seek protection order against your MIL:How to do this?
Contact a local lawyer and file the case in the family court to obtain such order.
Please take assistance of a lawyer in order to give reply to the letter.
Regards
She could be shifted in an old age home. You may discuss this idea with her, and in case she shows her willingness, you may go ahead with this idea.
Or she could shifted to a separate accommodation with a full time caretaker.
You husband is liable to maintain his mother. This is also one of his liability, as under the law.
What letter has she sent to you?
You have to file complaint before magistrate court and seek protection order against her under provisions of DV act
2) get reply drafted by Lawyer and send it on your letter head
You should approach the court for her treatment under the supervision of the court.In this condition the court will appoint a psychiatrist and direct him to examine her time to time and produce the report before the court. Court is the ultimate custodian of the insane person. Therefore court will appoint a psychiatrist or direct the psychiatrist suggested by you to examine her and place the report before the court on fixed interval of time.
It is not advisable to leave yor mentally ill mother in law alone which would aggravate her depressive mood and she may even attempt suicide.
You people should decide about accommodating her in a separate house with a maid to look after her daily needs and also to be within the distance so that you can reach out to her in a matter of 10 to 15 minutes.
She is not a complete psychiatric patient so that you can get her admitted in a mental asylum, she is suffering from the mindset that which causes her to behave erratically this way.
There is no legal solution to this.
3. But that is the possible solution than to keep her with you and you suffer more, i.e. physically and mentally every day and every moment.
5. This will not be a practical solution, the court may pass a restrictive order even if it is found that she has done domestic violence after a few years of trial, but you may not find any immediate solution to this.
Responding to her letter may be from your side too or yo can take the help of a lawyer to give a fitting reply and have a record to avoid future complications.