NEED YOUR INPUT
• I got married in march’2007, an arranged marriage and everything was clear that she has to take care of my parents as we have joint family of my parents and an younger brother. My wife was not happy with the marriage and kept fighting with me every single day since then. she hardly used to speak with me or my family members and always insisted that we live separately as she was working as a software engineer in a company which is very far from my living place, I convinced her that this is not the right time, let my brother marry, then responsibilities will be shared and everybody cooperates you, but she didn't convinced. Finally I agreed, and we shifted to the place which was very convenient to my wife by leaving my poor parents to their fate.
Then the troubles started.
• I am a state government employee drawing, less salary than my wife. She use to insult me before the relatives that her income was twice to mine, the expenses also increased because of living in a separate flat. but, I never asked any help from her. Instead of helping the husband in that moment, she use to give her salary to her father. I never denied giving her income to her father. I am a very sensitive person and thought to earn more money than my wife. so that she will feel happy and avoid insulting me and will come out of this typical behavior. Then I applied for a long leave to my job and learnt a software course and started earning more than my wife in a period of one year.
• Again the same behavior, no change. I thought this behavior was because of no children even after 2 years of marriage. We undergone the medical tests, medications and finally succeeded. We had a baby boy in April, 2011. I felt very happy that all the problems got solved. viz., Getting good income, living separately and had a kid.
• We decided to purchase a duplex house @ Uppal for 27 Lakhs, then, we approached in-law and took our money back around 8 Lakhs (My Wife's income ), My contribution of around 4 lakhs and housing loan of 15 Lakhs
• I used to spend lavishly on her since I loved her a lot. I wanted to keep her happy by providing her with everything that she ever wanted. But she for some reason did not like me and kept fighting with me for very silly things, though all the above things happened.
• To keep her happy, I started giving my income to in-law hoping that he will manage our accounts. We purchased almost 90 Tulas of Gold and kept with the in-law only.
• Unexpectedly she conceived again, quit the job and shifted to a place which was convenient for my job location.
• One fine day(Dec,2011), we heard that, her father disappeared with our hard earned money of around 22 Lakhs. But I didn't spoke a single word and I never scolded my wife for the kind of act done by her father. Her brothers and mother promised me to repay the 22 lakhs in a year. But even after three years they didn't returned the money. They are paying Rs.30,000 monthly for the housing loan which had a due of 10 Lakhs. We are happy that at least they are paying the housing loan.
• We bought our Gold and Silver back from her home and kept in a locker on her name. She denied to open the locker jointly or on my behalf.
• In the month of April, 2012 we had a baby girl and with my force, we purchased a flat at Nagole and shifted to the own Flat with two kids and trying to adjust with her patiently.
• Now we are in a good position, living with two kids, having a duplex house, well furnished flat, a car and with all the facilities. But, my parents are helpless and leading a normal life as my unmarried younger brother staying with and supporting them. But still her attitude of insulting me and my parents has not changed and comparatively increased to peak level as she got more time because of no job. She never allowed me to help my parents in any aspect though her father cheated us.
• In March,2013 a small quarrel happened as usually. Her mother, brother and sister came to our home, in spite of convincing her, without my notice they stolen the entire Gold, Silver and other valuable things from my home. I shouted on her after a week noticing the missed valuable things. Surprisingly she lodged a complaint in a police station against me that I am torturing her. The police and their relatives came, agreed that the gold and silver was with them and she went her home with the kids for 4 months.
• Later She got a job in Habsiguda and forced me to shift from own flat to a rented house nearby to her office for her convenience. I agreed and shifted and also arranged a full time maid and a part time maid to take care of the children. I spent a lot of money in shifting, paying house rent, maid services , caring of children, clothes etc., But still her attitude has not changed, She use to behave as a psycho, short tempered, quarrelsome and adamant.
• When I asked the Gold and other valuable things to bring back home or to safe them in a bank locker, she refused and ran with kids to her home by quitting the job. Whenever I ask for the Gold, she use to quarrel but not understanding the future of our kids. I never asked the gold to give it to me, just keep in a locker on her behalf. How can I trust their parents as they already cheated us.
• There is a lot to say about how she and her parents tortured and ill treated me and my family.
About her :
From the day one of my marriage she behaves very rude, never respects the husband, adamant, money-minded, never helps the husband in any aspect, shouts utterly, never cares the society, never respects the in-laws, no sensitive feelings towards the family and children, never cooks and if so, intentionally spoils, never cares the husband, no coordination with the husband . She never feel pain if something happens to children and husband. She never attended the functions happened from my side. She was not grown in a well cultured environment, her parents never value the wife-husband relationship.
What I lost because of her
1. My parents, because they never came to my home even after 7 years of my marriage.
2. My friends, because she never receives and insults them.
3. My relatives, because I am attending the functions alone without wife
4. Wealth, Her father cheated us for 22 lakhs and her brother stolen the Gold and valuable things of around 25 Lakhs
5. Health, Because of her torture, I got the blood pressure.
6. Colleagues, Family issues makes me moody and not moving socially
7. Children affection
8. Marital life.
9. Career and Income too.
• Alone at home, crying for children, getting suicidal tendencies.
• No proper food
• No proper medication for Blood pressure
• Away from parents- How can I show my face to parents because I never helped them after my marriage.
• I don't want to live with her as I lost the patience.
• I need my children back if she agrees so
• The property which we had to be transferred to the children immediately
Asked 3 years ago in Family Law from Hyderabad, Andhra Pradesh
1. You can apply for divorce at any time on the ground of mental harassment caused to you by the conduct of your wife. Prior to that you may attempt to convince your wife to go for a mutual divorce by filing a joint case for divorce in the court. If she agrees to divorce jointly then you can expect to have your marriage terminated by the process of law within a few months, as opposed to a contested divorce which can easily take you a year or even more.
2. You can file a case for claiming the custody of your child if your wife voluntarily does not agree to vest the children in your custody.
1)you can file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty . if your wife is agreeable file for divorce by mutual consent . please note that contested divorces take years to be disposed of .
2) before filing for divorce it is better to visit a marriage counsellor to resolve your differences . if situation does not improve then file for divorce .
3)as far as custody of children is concerned custody si generally given to mothers . you can get visitation rights .
welfare of child is the paramount consideration
file a divorce petition before district court against her and file a custody case before district court to get visitation
Advocate, New Delhi