• Mental harassment by husband

I my self selected this boy for marriage from a matrimony site. I was professor in private college. He is software engineer and earning well. His father is govt. teacher and he also has good salary. They also have farms and some shops and three houses. Two house and shops are on rent. His family include parents only; his all three sisters are married before our marriage itself. His parents live in village. Me and my husband live in metro city.
They did not ask any dowry and no demand. Their behavior is nice but my youngest sister in law behavior is different when I am alone. They have very good reputation in society.My father gave some 4 Lakh cash, some furniture of worth 1.5 Lakh and jewellery of 2 Lakh. I have around 2.5 Lakh cash in my own bank accounts at the time of marriage. Our marriage date was 1st of may 2015.
I shifted in different city and I lost my job that time. After 10 days of marriage, his relative started asking like when I will get job. After some time he started pressurizing me for job. At that time his behavior was so rude. He never care of my feelings and I never felt like married. I supposed to get job and earn as soon as possible. I was 30 years old at the time of marriage and I was more worry about family planning. But, my husband told they have some loan. So before that we can not plan for family. He promised me that after clearing Loan and all we will do family planning.
After 4 month (in Oct 2015) of my marriage, I got job. My working hours was 9 hours plus 2.5 hours of traveling. I lost my health, I started menstruation problem and feeling low most of the time from July 2016. I got new job in MNC with very good package left my current job in Dec 2016. He cleared all loan that time. Started working in new big company in Jan 2017. I also started treatment for menstruation problem and Yoga class. I also give him money for monthly expense of house. 
Now he wants again my savings for constructing house in village. House is well newly constructed need some fixes. I am not getting to understand where his and his father earning is going. They are not poor travel by flight, give costly gifts to relatives. 
Whenever he asks money for me and I do not want to give. He started some silent kind of fight. Otherwise he is very nice.
Asked 7 years ago in Family Law
Religion: Hindu

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6 Answers

1) refuse to give any money for constructing house in the village

2) instead suggest toy your husband that it is better to invest in mutual funds so that at time of retirement you both have enough money to lead a decent retired life

3) tell your husband it is time to start a family now rather than splurging your savings on constructing house in village

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
95215 Answers
7611 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1. This is more like a personal problem than a legal one.

2. In most of the households similar problem arises and ti is to be dealt with the particular situations available therein.

3. Since legal intervention in present position has all the potential to ruin your marriage for ever , it is not advisable at all.

4.We from the outside can not advise except to make him understand that it is your hard earned money and you must save this for future contingency of the family.

5. However as a good gesture you can give him a token amount to satisfy his ego.

Devajyoti Barman
Advocate, Kolkata
22920 Answers
498 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1. You have to decide what you want. Nobody including your husband has any right to take your salary. If you want to continue your marriage then you can propose counselling through a marriage counsellor to your husband. If this does not work then you may file a DV case under section 12 of DV Act to seek restraint order against your husband and in-laws to stop them from harassing you.

2. You are also free to file for dissolution of marriage on the ground of cruelty.

Ashish Davessar
Advocate, Jaipur
30763 Answers
972 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

you should settle this issue by amicable settlement do not wish to initiate any type of legal proceedings because it may cause your situation more worse. your husband needs counseling on this issue because in some cases family planning becomes psychological problem i.e. husband is little bit of reluctant to think about children. so you should show level of confidence in your husband and try to counsel him.

Shivendra Pratap Singh
Advocate, Lucknow
5127 Answers
78 Consultations

4.9 on 5.0

What is the solution do you expect from her by writing the above question.

If there is no problem between you both and are leading a happy married life then what is your query?

If you do not want to give him your salary income then he cannot force you, you can very well refuse.

You can discuss your problems if any.

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
85416 Answers
2239 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1. It seems that he is too keen for your earnings and the claims it for his personal and/or family needs like repayment of loan.

2. The question comes as to why there is some loan when they all earn well and also as why shall you have to pay for repaying their loan.

3. The fact that you were mistreated when you had no job to earn salary also does not sign well for your relationship.

4. Now you shall have to decide as to what do you want now from this matrimonial relation of yours which is standing on your capability of earning and passing on your salary to them.

5. If you want to change your status, then be firm and tell him that you are no longer passing on your hard earned salary to him.

6. You should be ready to face the consequence thereafter which might lead to divorce also.

Krishna Kishore Ganguly
Advocate, Kolkata
27245 Answers
726 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

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