• GF is not ready to break up

Hi,
I am 25 years old guy, last year I met my gf, we started having s%x after one week of knowing each other as interest was from both side. I cleared at the starting that I can't marry her. She was ok with it at the starting, but slowly slowly I felt she was trying to put me in a condition where I 'll have no point of return than marrying her. So I used to tell her not to keep any attachment.By the way she used to give me suicidal threat all the time from the starting that her ex spoiled her life she don't want to live. Later one day (after 3/4 months after meeting her), I told her I'm gonna break up. She started crying and pleaded to be with her till she get a good job as she wanted to earn more, I was fool started helping her thinking she 'll leave me once her career is settled. Well one day finally she got a good offer. After she got offer I was little bit attached to her. One day I told her, "How long will it work like this, we need to think". I was pointing to break up but she thought I was talking about marrying her, later I clarified that it is not what she is thinking. But she was not ready to listen to me.  Hence argument started, I was trying to break up badly. She was forcing me to stay another 3-4 months. As I was badly seeking for break up, I talked to her elder sister to ask what I can do at this moment, she told to change the current address and change the ph no, so I did that as this seemed to me a feasible solution. Then she went to police station when she saw I'm not ready for compromise at that situation, the reason she went to police station is to track my no to see where I am staying currently. Police sent her back saying that can not be done. Later again she went to police and said that I gave her hope to marry now I left and she took police to my office and to take me to police station. I was really scared thinking that she might had done or tried committing suicide. Then after going to police station I told everything to the officer and finally I was able to made them understand, they didn't take FIR or complaint. But next day the police officer called me up and started scaring that she 'll put rape charge and all , I have to give him 20k then he 'll introduce me to his lawyer to get anticipatory bail(I was really shocked why he wants me to take bail as there is no question of even sexual harassment ) . Still I told I 'll give the money but it will take time. That when I came office I got to know my office ID was deactivated as police came to the office , its a question of company's reputation. I need to get clearance certificate from police station. I was not able to find a way how to tackle the situation and decided better to patch up with her and I 'll ask her to help me to get the clearance certificate. She did. Even after lot of argument with police, they were not ready to give me clearance, finally she told she will withdraw the NC she had lodged, she withdrew the NC. Well, after that my office was ready to take me back after verifying the copy of the withdrawal request. 
I didn't know that was my biggest mistake patching up with her again. Its been 3 months since all this police saga happened. Now a days , she is doing everything forcefully, she is coming to my house without permission, she is forcefully having s$x. I am trying to find a proper way to get  out of this relation, hence thought of posting here. As per our last discussion we decided any one of us  will go away from here(I'm badly waiting for the day). But I don't have any belief on her at this point . If I dont want to have sex, either she is fighting with me or sometimes scaring me that she wont leave me so easily.
I really don't know what should be my correct step to get rid of her. Staying with her(NOT live in), seems like staying with a time bomb, I don't know when it will burst out.
As an IT professional, I dont want to get into any legal trouble as that can be end of my career.

Could anyone please guide me on how to tackle this situation, can;t really sleep thinking of all these.
Asked 7 years ago in Family Law
Religion: Muslim

First answer received in 30 minutes.

Lawyers are available now to answer your questions.

8 Answers

Dear Concerned,

You are certainly in a Deep Problem. Here is what you need to decide

A. Run away from the situation

B. Fight the Harrasment / Blacmailing by this girl

HOW.

a. Run away from this situation : Start finding a job in better places like Mumbai - Delhi - Gurgaon - Noida , once you get a job just shift your self and disconnect with her.

b. Fight the Harassment - As you GF has already withdrawn the NC and its now three months - YOU need to contact the SSP concerned and tell him the whole story and tell him to protect you as you doubt that she will file false Rape charges or etc to Blackmail you or to put you behind bars. IF he helps good - else you may approach High Court and File a writ for protection.

You may choose to contact us through Kaanoon.com by booking the consulting time to have a discussion on the subject.

Best of Luck

Atulay Nehra
Advocate, Noida
1309 Answers
58 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1) take your girl friend to psychiatrist

2) your gf may be suffering from mental illness and she needs treatment

3) talk to her parents .

4) you cnnaot be forced to marry the girl

5) it was consensual sex .no case of rape is made out

6) if any rape case is filed obtain AB from sessions court

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
95216 Answers
7611 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1) fight the harassment

2) call recordings will help you in obtaining bail in case false case is filed

Ajay Sethi
Advocate, Mumbai
95216 Answers
7611 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1. Take up a job far from your present place of posting.

2. Leave the place quickly assuring her that you shall visit her every week.

3. Never ever return to your present place of posting informing her that yopu are not being granted leave to go to your earlier place.

Krishna Kishore Ganguly
Advocate, Kolkata
27245 Answers
726 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1. The correct advise should be to take the prudential step.

2. To fight court cases legally, one requires finance which is acquired from his profession/employment and in your case mere appearance of police in your office has lead to your ID been deactivated which certifies that you have been very weekly positioned professionally.

3. So, in the above case, it will be prudent on your part to move to other place where you shall be positioned in a better way professionally.

Krishna Kishore Ganguly
Advocate, Kolkata
27245 Answers
726 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

1. Running away is not the solution, it is sheer cowardice. You should file a police complaint to the jurisdictional police station under section 389 IPC as she is threatening to implicate you in false cases, but before doing this you should record her threats.

2. In addition to above, you may file a suit for permanent injunction to restrain her from contacting you in any manner.

3. AB is required only after the FIR is filed.

Ashish Davessar
Advocate, Jaipur
30763 Answers
972 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Could anyone please guide me on how to tackle this situation, can;t really sleep thinking of all these.

Not only you but there are plenty of people who suffer such a situation every day.

Most of the victims do not know that they were actually trapped but keep enjoying the situation till something turns worst.

Well there is no compulsion that you have to marry her because this was consensual sex between both and cannot be termed as rape and moreover she is not a minor by age hence she knew the consequences of being together in relationship including the sexual relationship.

If she resorts to lodge similar complaint once again, you may first obtain AB and then challenge her case properly in the court, dont be scared of the police or her and also do not allow the police to visit the office next time when she again lodges a complaint.

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
85416 Answers
2239 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

A:: Which would be beneficial option to choose (from a lawyer's perspective )? 1: Run away or 2: Fight the Harassment .

Fight back and get relieved legally from this tangle.

B:: I have all voice and call recording of whatever conversation we had and text messages also where she told she 'll leave me after 2 -3 months

This cannot be admissible evidence in court however you can challenge her allegation before the trial court and during cross examining her.

T Kalaiselvan
Advocate, Vellore
85416 Answers
2239 Consultations

5.0 on 5.0

Ask a Lawyer

Get legal answers from lawyers in 1 hour. It's quick, easy, and anonymous!
  Ask a lawyer