TOTAL CHANGE OF PERSONALITY. Love/Register marriage in Chennai in June 2009, moved to US in May 2010. Son born in June 2011 (now 5.5 years old). Both Hindu, I'm a BE grad, she is M.Tech in Civil/Structural Engineering, elder to me by 6 months. My stepmom visited us from India in Feb 2012. Daily quarrel - abusive language against stepmom. One day wife called 911 and sent my stepmom to jail for couple days in April 2012 and never lived happily thereafter. Left US with kid in Jan 2013, came back in Sep 2013 only to leave again in March 2014. Never came back. Started working for Petrofac in June 2014. I sent money to India during all the months we were separated. I visited India for 6 months between Sep 2015 - Feb 2016. Managed to live only 3.5 months with me, denied sex all the time but couple instances used sex to manipulate for money. She bought an apartment in Chennai without my consent and made me pay home loan EMI of Rs.20000 a month. Lost her job and came back to US (pressurized me to book tickets to US) in May 2016 and still now sleeps alone and now wants MCD with settlement for kid. 1) No respect 2) No sex, denies all the time 3) Use sex (very very rare but if it has to happen) as a weapon of control and manipulation 4) Always withhold love/affection/emotions when I express love/affection 5) No self realization to fix our relationship issues, wouldn't agree for counselling/therapy 6) Never let my son get close with him. Incites/Wrong advises him about me all the time. 7) Puts lots of conditions against me....and when conditions are not met...gets into a state of "emotional irritability and anxiety" 8) Excessive irritability, Anger and usage of Abusive language against me for petty matters too. 9) She didn't like me helping my parents with money or whatever it is. 10) Never forgets the past, never thinks we are family, never thinks nobody is perfect and wife/husband issues should be sorted out by positive talking. 11) Never admits/thinks relationship is a two-person effort. 12) Often gives back silent treatment when me or someone elder (friend or family) advises her to try and fix issues. Basic personality/character from what I understand: 5 daughters, she is 3rd, her dad passed away in 2007, never seen her get close with her mom. Seem innocent Cooks well Not a ok/lets forget it type. Couple instances used abusive/bad language against me/my dad, made me hit her (I believe thats when her personality/view against me changed) Nobody shouldn't say anything against her decision/wish/liking If someone scolds/say something bad against her, hate them to the core. Keeps only negative emotions in mind. Not a lets discuss/open talk type. What are my options? I dont want the kid, let her raise the kid. Divorce in US or India? I have all evidences (emails, whatsapp, phone calls etc). I'm sure she knows if I contest this I can win for sure. Please advise or call or whatsapp +[deleted], thanks.
1) file for divorce by mutual consent in india
2) if you agree for divorce in USA wife will take 50 per cent of your assets acquired after marriage
3) if you are willing to pay settlment amount desired by wife then you can agree for divorce in USA
4)mutual consent divorce takes 6 months in india
5) contested divorce takes 5 years
Dear Sir......
All the grounds are too much strong for divorce....feel free to file it..it is better that ..you can consult on phone or skype..to understand the matter..in depth .
Regards..
Mob-No-[deleted]
Dear Concerned,
In reference to the issues as mentioned above - It would be good that you file the Divorce in US only. If you consider filing divorce in India you may end up wasting multiple years. As you have stayed with your wife in US for most part of your marriage better to file in US.
Check for the maintenance and alimony laws and consider filing the Divorce in US. Also consider not coming to India with her until you are sorted on your Divorce in US as dont put yourself in a situation where your wife puts false and fabricated cases in India on you and you end up being retrained to travel back to US.
Stay Blessed, Best of Luck.
Hello,
1) You can allow her permanent custody of the child if that is mutually agreeable and decide on contribution towards maintenance.
2) You can decide on where you want to file for divorce as you can file for it in either of the places.
3) Despite you being able to get a divorce by contesting, if there is possibility of a divorce by mutual consent, that would be best in the interest of everyone concerned monetarily and otherwise.
Thanks everyone, I have few followup questions please. Wife will find a job for sure in India or middle-east, I don't want to pay her for the emotional turmoil/sleepless nights/unexplained stress I've undergone. BUT at the sametime, I'll be missing my son for sure and would want to abide by the family law to pay for my son's life/education expenses after divorce. I need child visitation rights both for myself and my family members. So on what basis,the settlement/maintenance money is calculated in India? Is it a lumpsum/one-time payment? and for how long? What amount is considered common/normal? What if the wife wouldn't agree for certain amount of money? and what if she demands more? Is there a pre-defined amount of money set by the family court/law for kid's future? Any prior precedence / real-life examples of how this was done from other clients of yours? Please advise.
1) you can either maintenance per month or one time payment .
2) if wife refuses to agree figure offered by you then court would decide amount payable by you
3)amount to be awarded would depend yopur income , wife income , standard of lifestyle , child expenses
4) you can aseek visitation rights for child
Dear..
Sir....you have to file divorce petition and child custody matter...in india .it is fruit full for you ...
Regards
Mob-No-[deleted]
1. If you get ex parte divorce in USA in the event your wife doesn't participate in the proceedings there the same is not binding in India. Hence file the divorce suit in India on the grounds mentioned above by you.
2. The wife is entitled1/3-1/5 of your income as monthly maintenance. Since in your case she is professionally well off and gainfully employed you aren't liable for any maintenance though your child is entitled to maintenance.
3. If she agrees for mcd then go for it. For fixing final settlement money you have to negotiate hard in which court has nothing to say.
Good luck
1. There is no point in submitting a due diligence report about her nature and acts.
2. The basic fact is that you two did not gel well and have no respect on each other.
3. Hitting wife physically is bad and illegal. The said act of yours, if proved with evidence, can send you behind the bars.
4. Decide what do you want from this matrimonial relationship of yours. If you want to terminate the relationship, file a divorce petition on the ground of cruelty with all the evidence you have in your custody in support of your allegation.
5. You can also negotiate with her to jointly file a Mutual Consent Divorce petition which will be decided within 6 & 1/2 months from the date of its filing.
6. You should file the divorce or MCD petition before the court in India.
What are my options?
I dont want the kid, let her raise the kid.
Divorce in US or India?
I have all evidences (emails, whatsapp, phone calls etc). I'm sure she knows if I contest this I can win for sure.
Since you both are currently living in US,in my opinion, it would be better that you seek dissolution of your marriage with her in US as per US laws itself.
You may have to agree for post nuptial conditions to the extent that is possible in the mutual consent divorce, but is she is not willing for mutual consent divorce, you may go for contested divorce in US as per laws of that country.
Filing a divorce case in India will take a long time to get disposed and it may get dragged on if she decides to do so with the help of her advocate.
Further, you may have to frequently visit India for the purpose of this divorce case in India.
You may consult an attorney in US and seek his/her advice to get rid of this menace for ever.
BUT at the sametime, I'll be missing my son for sure and would want to abide by the family law to pay for my son's life/education expenses after divorce. I need child visitation rights both for myself and my family members.
So on what basis,the settlement/maintenance money is calculated in India? Is it a lumpsum/one-time payment? and for how long?
If you plan to file divorce case in US as per US laws, you can draw a post nuptial terms in which all such things including money for maintenance of the child and its expenses and visitation rights or custody of the child can be determined in the said agreement.
As far as maintenance settlement is concerned in India, it can be one time settlement or monthly which will depend on the mutual agreement between both the parties.
What amount is considered common/normal?
What if the wife wouldn't agree for certain amount of money? and what if she demands more?
Is there a pre-defined amount of money set by the family court/law for kid's future?
There is no yardstick to measure the quantum of maintenance by court.
In fact it becomes the duty of the petitioner to prove the income of the respondent to claim maintenance from him.
If your wife puts forth some vague information about your income and claims an unimaginary amount which cannot be feasible, you may challenge her claim and defend yourself by asking her to provide proofs for her claim, which she will not be able to.
The grant of maintenance amount shall, if not compromised or negotiated, depend on the discretion of court to which both parties shall put forth their arguments for and against.