Hi, My cousin is married for 5 years and staying with his wife and mother (70 years). Has 4 years old girl child also. His marriage has been nightmare since couple of years and now it is going to extreme level. He just suppresses himself and keep obeying her, because he is in fear if she files any case or FIR. Commonly we always hear those laws are mostly in favor of women in India and he is afraid of this. What kind of cruelty she is doing against him and his mother? - For tiny issue, almost every 15 days, she will break TV, kitchen utensils, hit her head against wall. Take the knife and held on her own neck and ask him to bow down and take decision immediately. Recent one is, she took knife on her hand and said, immediately send his mother outside house. When he tried to calm her down, she took girl and went outside in night. With help of neighbors, she was found after couple of hours of search. Now she is staying in his business place (which is closed for 1.5 years, due to Covid) for 5 days. So far, she broken TV and fridge in office, teared his shirt twice, bite him on his shoulder, hit him with steel plate, then started slapping herself 10s of times and then hit her own hand with screwdriver, which is in bandage now. He does not want to leave her but wants everything to get better. He is not in position to pressure her, so she can control herself. But he cannot, as he is afraid, she may file any case against him. Can he take any action or complaint or FIR or collect some proofs, which can save him, in case she files a case, or she approaches police? Please suggest. (They are in Bangalore) Thanks
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File police complaint against wife constant threats to commit suicide
2) file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty
3) seek sole custody of child
4) mention that she becomes extremely violent and harms herself by banging against wall ,hitting herself with screwdriver
5) wife assaulting husband,threatening to commit suicide amounts to mental cruelty and is ground for divorce
He does not wants to get divorce, but wants situation to get better. But he can't pressure her to calm down and stop behaving bad, as she threatens always, to send him jail and file case on him. For now, he wants to have something to save him from such case. Should he file any case, for informational purpose, which can save him, if she files any case? Should collect proof (like video), while those mistreat things are going on? Or complain somewhere else, like Mahila Ayog or somewhere else? He just want to keep himself safe, in case she files a case? Or it is still a practical truth that men will be always ignored against women?
You need to take your wife to psychiatrist as she needs medical treatment for her mental illness
2) she may be suffering from bipolar disorder and needs medicines regularly
3) file police complaint as mentioned herein above
4) he should keep audio recordings , video recordings of her behaviour
5) save chat messages exchanged with wife which prove that she has broken TV , utensils , assaulted husband etc
Dear Sir/Madam,
1. It is best he records proofs of his wife's actions because in case a 498A case is filed against him, he will have to disprove the allegations.
2. He may opt for couples counselling or mediation as that may try and bring a middle ground between the couple.
3. This is a clear case of domestic violence against husband but no law in India recognises that.
4. Let him keep the proofs with himself, in case she files a case, he may use it
Thank you
God Bless
- As per Supreme Court judgment, wife is expected to move in with the relatives of their husbands, follow the rules and customs of their home, and ideally, blend in seamlessly as a new daughter.
- Further, the court granted divorce to a man on the grounds of “cruelty” after his wife refused to share a home with her in-laws.
- Further, If wife is not supporting her husband for the enjoyment of life and denying relation, then the husband can get divorce after filing a divorce petition before the court on this ground.
- Further , if she is not interested to live with him , then he can take her consent for mutual divorce , and if not agree then he can file a divorce case against her on the ground of cruelty and above mentioned grounds .
- Further, if she is creating problem for his mother , then being a woman mother can file a complaint under the provision of Domestic violence act against her harassment.
- Further for his safety , he can file a compliant as information to the police and higher official , after narrating the whole episode of harassment , and further mention that she used to threaten for implicating in false cases .
You can contact me , if further suggestion needed.
The activities of her what you have narrated appear to be done by an abnormal person rather who is not mentally stable.
She needs medical attention by a psychiatrist or a psychologist.
However for your immediate relief, he can collect the evidences and give a complaint (NC) with the police stating that she poses suicidal threats and these are the incidents by which she tried to harm herself or threatened to commit suicide.
He can inform her parents also about her behavior and the undesirable activities she is indulging into.
He can decide about filing a petition seeking judicial separation too.
He can give a complaint with the local police about her suicidal threats;
He can give a complaint with the women welfare commission too narrating her weird activities which disrupts peaceful marital life;
He can file a petition for judicial separation under section 10 of HMA;
He can take her to a psychiatrist or psychologist as well
1. First of all he can consider getting psychiatrist's advice and treatment for her. may be one tablet in a day would tame her down as she appears to suffer from mental problem.
2. He can also video/audio record all her such acts secretly (such cameras are available in the market) and lodge a formal complaint before the local police station alleging that she has been blackmailing him by threatening to cause harm to her and then lodge police complaint against him.
1. His first step will be to take her secretly to a psychiatrist for diagnosis and treatment since it appears to be a clear case of hypertensive mental problem.
2. Once she is tamed, 90% of his problems will wean away.
3. However, he can secretly audio/video record her such acts and lodge a police complaint as suggested in my earlier post.
1. Even if a FIR gets filed under 498A on his wife's complaint it will not lead to an immediate arrest. Now police is bound to issue a notice to accused under 41A Cr.P.C.before calling him for investigation where he can be arrested.
2. Once your cousin receives the notice above mentioned, he should immediately file petition for anticipatory bail.
