I am 33 year old man, married about 2 years ago in a love marriage, stay away from parents. My father has always been aggressive since my childhood towards my mother and myself once I became an earning member of family. He lives in a illusionary world in which he thinks everyone is jealous of him and are after him for something or the other. Even though we are well todo family and educated, I have seen him phy abuse my mother since childhood till date, both the parents are now in 60s. He has isolated my mother to an extent now that she is not at all confident in going against him or speaking a word against him to take help of law. She had back to back surgeries in past 2 years since my marriage, and due to which even though there is no physical abuse, she is constantly abuse or teased in relation to her family or life with her relatives to this date. She is also verbally abused unnecessarily on things that she might have not known or committed on a constant every week or month. I being in a love marriage, father constantly reminds mother that you approved of this marriage and its due to you there is distance in family which is wrong. My wife and her parents have not spoken a word to my father in past one and a half year, due to an issue in which he was trying to change surname of my wife on Ration card and some affidavits, inspite she and I not wanting the change. He had uttered bad words for my wife and parents for which I have recordings of phone conversation where he was trying to portray a victim and said they and wife are going to destroy family and run away with money and jewellery which is not the case at all. Now again he is acting as if he did not commit this act and constantly bugs me and my mother why are in laws and my wife not talking to him or coming to the house once in a while. Apart from this he has tried to put messages in important conversations in society/building maintainence matters with my name, without my knowledge and keeps on telling you are child and you donot know how world functions and how people are in society so let me handle it. Also, he tried to reach out to customer care of loan bank using my email address to get a hold of progress of my payments and principal amounts, saying that I am maintaining a track of your expenses and payments in excel sheet, that's why I used my name in bank. Apart from this he creates random issues in family in relation to me, mother and my wife or even simplest matter why did I order ration in house without his knowledge and orders me next time this particular delivering agency should not deliver in our house. I have told him several occasion, it seems that you have some mental condition possible which needs diagnosis, but doesn't agree upon. All of these any many issues are creating constant mental pressure on my mother and myself and my relation with my wife, where my father thinks he is superior. What legal steps can be taken to get freedom from this ?
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Your mother should file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty
2) father abusing mother amounts to mental cruelty and is ground for divorce
3) your mother can seek interim maintenance and alimony from husband
4) you can obtain restraint order from district court restraining father from contacting you in any manner
You cannot take any legal actions on such trivial issues.
You cannot make him realise of his mistakes because his ego will be hurt.
You may better stay away from him along with your wife and if you are really interested in your mother's welfare as well as to free her from the mental and physical abuses then you can take her also with you to your new residence.
Any action in the name of legal remedy that may be taken from your end to get relieved from this traumatic situation may backfire or your father may retaliate in a different manner misusing the law protecting the senior citizens' welfare.
You may consult a local advocate and take proper action after thorough discussion in this regard.
Solution to your problem is not legal though he has committed some minor offences. Deal with him firmly, don’t allow him to dominate. Whenever he tries oppose him strongly. Make him realize he cannot play any more tricks with you and family. Constantly remind him he has become old and lost him mind. Ask him to simply sit in corner. Always be prepared for a show down. If you confront him at every step that will make him lose his confidence one day. It may take time but it will happen one day. Show your strong side to him. He should know that you are now stronger and he is weak due to age. You are married, if he does the same things before your children, they will not respect you. Only then he can be defeated.
1. There is no legal issue in your instant case since it is the common household problem faced by grown up children with old fathers who refuse to understand that their children have grown up.
2. You can shift your mother to your house on pretext of her treatment.
Dear Sir,
1) In such a situation instead of taking legal action you should, try to find a way to shift your mother with you.
2) if your mother wants to seek legal remedies she can file for divorce and domestic violence case, but thinking about the health of your mother it is not advisable to get into such legal proceedings. Better option is to just shift with you and live peacefully.
3) you should change your passwords and email account to maintain your privacy.
4) you can discuss with an attorney if there is scope of filing for injunction, with respect to your father contacting you or messing with your accounts.
Thank you
The best way is to leave him alone. You cannot fight with him as you have work to do and he has nothing to do except harass you people.
Therefore either leave the society and flat if it belongs to him. That is the only solution. May be he'll understand once you all leave him. If he doesn't well,your decision was right.
Thanks to all the advocates for positive response and making me understand about legalities around issues I mentioned. This question is in general, in reply to Adv. Rahul Mishra but others can reply, in which he mentioned the flat related thing. In fact, the flat is in my and mother's name (Joint) with loan payments, society and land tax payments done by me solely. Even though he had paid some amount during purchase of flat, which he says "is responsibility of him", as down payment 4-5 years ago, I have paid larger amount in loan EMI until now, compared to him and have taken full payment ownership in terms of monthly maintenance, land tax, major house-hold related expenses etc. Why I am mentioning this is, at time he tells my mother every now and then to leave the house and go, if she has so much "Problem with him", since he was paying for maintenance, now since I have taken that responsibility he is mum. Earlier I did not have immediate intentions to remove him from house I owe, but his actions especially after my marriage, are as such that some times it feels that strong legal actions need to taken against him along with case of mental cruelty against mother, to make him leave the house. I & mother have no intentions of taking any alimony or any other type of financial support from him in any way. I am not sure what will be the legal implications in this case on ownership of flat or who gets to stay.
Your mother should file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty
2) since you and mother are co owners of house seek injunction restraining father from disturbing h your possession of house
1. Since the said flat stands in the joint names of you and your mother, you two are its joint owners.
2. You and your mother can file an eviction suit against him.
3. Mere payment of maintenance amount or paying some amount few years back while buying the flat does not confer title or share of the flat with out any court order/judgement.
Your mother may file a domestic violence case against him seeking relief of protection and also to retrieve her home from his possession.
You also can file an eviction suit to eject him from your house.
The house belongs to you as you are the registered owner along with your mother. He ay raise the issue that he has nowhere to go and hence you people are doing such things. What you can do is lodge a complaint against him through your mother and wife. If the mother doesn't cooperate then through your wife. State the facts as they are and ask the authorities to make him understand otherwise strict steps may be taken against him. The court may order mediation.
Dear Sir,
1) Your mother can file for divorce on ground of cruelty and a suit under domestic violence act for protection order and residence order, the court can order your father to leave the shared household.
2) As the house is registered in you and your mothers name, you are co owners and thus you can file a injunction suit against your father.
3) The registered deed of the house decides the owner, making a few maintenance payments, or little payment at the time of buying of house, does not grant ownership.
Thank you