I am a woman of Indian origin. Me and my husband have been married for 13 years. We live in the UK and have a citizenship here. We have a 7 year old daughter. Suddenly out of the blue he started being distant and irresponsible claiming he has not interest in family, no desire for me and wants to get married again. I tried a lot to get him to communicate with me and he has been giving me the silent treatment for the last 1 year. I have been very very stressed because of the traumatic situation. The only communication between us has been through e-mails. He says he will only talk to me if I sign on the divorce petition. He has been verbally and physically abusive and in frustration certain emails have been sent from me which he wants to use against me but those that depict his violence attitude have all been ignored. The court in the UK will not hear my version and grant a divorce. I want to be heard and all the injustice and his actions to come to the fore too. I want justice and as you all may know, the UK courts will not do much in terms of listeniing my version and suggesting a proper course of action. All I wanted is for his violent attitude to change and he picked the easy way out. Can some help me here?
Dear client,
Foreign divorce law is very liberal. Diovrce will grant along with division of property equally. But you have other remedy that you can file police complain for physical and verbal abuse , In this case he will be more sufferer and you may be in a upfromt position to meet your demands.
Rest foreign court order , You can challenge in India.
You both are Indian, domiciled in India and married in India, in this situation you can file the petition for restitution of conjugal rights in india, you even seek injunction order from the court against him to proceed for divorce in the foreign court which doesn't have jurisdiction to decide Indian Hindu Marriage.
husband if produces the decree of divorce of foreign court that can be declared null and void by the Indian Family Court under section 13, 14 of CPC and that will prevent him to remarry again in India.
See easy way out of this is you take alimony amount from him and settle for a mutual divorce and can lead a life peacefully.
Secondly alternate can be you can register a case in you for violence intimidation and abuse against him.
From my advise if he want divorce and he is not interested no body can force him so better way shall be peaceful divorce and taking sum from him for you and your child
Where was the marriage solemnised .?
2) if marriage is solemnised in UK. courts in UK would have jurisdiction to decide your husband divorce petition
3) you can deny the allegations made and contest the divorce proceedings
4) seek maintenance from husband for your self and child
Marriage was solemnised in India as per hindu marriage act. Money is secondary for me. The primary focus is getting him to address the violence for the sake of the child as she has been witness to the abuse. Both physical and verbal. I am not sure if the child should be in such infleunce. Also custody is not clear.
1) in such case you can come down to India file petition for RCR
2) seek sole custody of your child
3) if husband files for divorce in UK object to jurisdiction as marriage was solemnised in India and divorce can be only on grounds recognised by HMA
4) if you do not participate divorce decree would not be valid in India
See for physical and mental abuse police complaint can be filed.since cause of action in UK and you are UK citizen it would be better to file for complaint in UK against him.
Further on ground of abuse and nature of husband see can seek custody of the child from the court.
Recently one High court has held that marriage solemonized under HMA cannot be annulled by foreign court but at present you both are British citizens so court have jurisdiction.
And already informed you, to make him realize for his violence act, police complain.
Not sure about custody laws of UK but in India court favours mother's custody.
Why is there no clear guidance on this? Is it so easy for a woman brought up with indian values which say marriage is for life, to accept this kind of injustice? In this country the court hears one side of the story and makes a judgement based on that. Everything else is ignored. If I write to the court that I do not submit to the jurisdiction here as we got married as per hindu marriage act, will that help? I don't want him to get away that easily. Please can I get some solid advice. Regarding domestic violence, I can complain but that will destory the likelihood of making things better and make the marriage work for the sake of the kid. I want him to address the anger issues, accept the mistakes and seek help. Punishment or monetary compensation is not what I am after.
1) You can file case in India for live together under RCR ... Hindu Marriage Act. And child will live in your custody.
If you object to jurisdiction of UK court and do not participate in divorce proceedings divorce decree would not be valid in India
2) you can file petition for RCR in India and seek stay of divorce proceedings in UK
3) in India contested divorce proceedings take 5 years to be disposed of and husband has to prove allegations made in divorce petition
Respected Mam, see we can understand your situation very well but the law has also it's limitation see you cannot force.your husband to live with you. Secondly even you don't submit to there jurisdiction firstly they will pass exparte order so instead of that.contesting is better.
In case.you file in India for Restitution then in that case he will not.come and the order cannot be enforced there that easily.
So according to situation we are suggesting you solution you can file restitution there can seek help of family court in UK to arrange mediation between you and your husband.
Suffer for life is not left in India, law is women centric. If you worry for lose of any possibility of restitution and not file complain than , You only be responsible for it.
UK courts have different attitude due to their law but in India you can make him suffer the worse and no divorce for years. Even to teach a lesson , police complain is must.
You can submit your reply in court but your mere denial will have no impact, court will decide acc. To UK law whether you are subject to it's jurisdiction or not. And certainly you are due to UK citizenship.
You cannot go away with this, ready to take benefit of citizenship but rescue from court jurisdiction .
Rest you can submit India HC rulling in court that marriage solemonized under HMA not subjected to foreign court.
I am very very confused. I am getting conflicting advice here. I am not submitting to the jurisdiction for marriage because he is taking advantage of the liberal laws. My version will not be heard at all. He can get a divorce without any problem. Its a win-win for him. He will get a divorce and remarry. I am almost 40 and my life and my daughter's life will be troubled forever. Its very very selfish and biased. From what I understand, there is no restitution option in the UK. There was a police call out back in 2014 and he was incarcerated for it. As I said, I can complain and get him in trouble. But punishing him and seeking compensation will be secondary for me.
Mam there is no other way out of this , no law can force him to be normal and lead a better life as good husband and good father to you and your kids. We have only option of compensation and punishment.
Madammmm it's not up to you to decide under which court jurisdiction you may amenable. Once you accepted British citizenship, You itself fall under UK court jurisdiction.
Remedy available to you, In India you can assil foreign court divorce decree as the same is granted on grounds not valid in India and also without hearing you.
And to be very clear , what advise you are looking for, an actual legal status or biased to sooth your ears but not true !
No. I am not looking for an advise soothing to my ears because if that's what I want, I'd be knocking at the doors of the police asking them to put the man behind bars for the continuous abuse. But I feel if his anger issues are addressed, he is safe for my daughter and also a better individual. When he is not angry, he is a better individual. I am looking for an option that will help him and my daughter. If I was thinking about myself, I'd get him punished, take the money and live happily.
You are correct and your approach towards the issue is also good. But see legal options are limited on personal level you can ask him to meet a pschytarist.
In such a case as advised earlier do not submit to jurisdiction of UK courts
file petition for RCR in India if husband files for divorce in UK
When you file for RCR in India court would refer case for mediation to marriage counsellor
you cannot be forced to agree for divorce against your wishes
Better take punitive steps. Mens takes women for granted as much she tolerate and bear agony. Sometimes to mend the situation strocks are necessary . Rest legal position already informed u.
All the best
1. You have not informed where and under which Act you two were married.
2. If it is in India and under any Indian law, then tyhe decree of divorce passed by the U.K. Court will not be valid in India and you two shall be treated as married couple in India.
3. However, in UK you shall be given chance to submit your version but the process of getting divorce is easy there. Moreover, you have not lodged any police complaint in UK alleging his cruel act on you.
4. You can lodge a police complaint now if he comits any such cruel act on you.
5. You can also negotiate with him and agree for jointly filing a divorce suit on agreed terms since it will not be possible for you to force him to stay with you normally if he does not want to.
1. You have two issues i.e. his trying to get divorece from you and your allegation about his cruel acts on you.
2. If divorce and maintenance/compensation is not an issue to you, then you shall have to lodge police complaint against his said cruel acts.
3. You shall have to file a child custody case seeking custody of your child which will be awarded taking in to consideration his welfare.
1. As informed in my earlier post, the divorce decree passed by the UK court will not be valid in India.
2. In any case the UK court will pass the decree since you both are UK citizen.
3. there is wide cultural difference between two countries and since you are a citizen of the UK, you shall have tom follow the law of your country now.
1. It is to be understood that it is not possible for the wife/husband to compel the husband/wife to stay with the other party in matrimonial relationship if he/she does not want to.
2. In India wife/husband is forced to stay in the relationship with the other party if one party does not want divorce even if there is violent relationship between them.
3. In UK, it is no so and the law is liberal.
4. However, he will not be able to marry in India since he will stay as legally married with you as oper Indian law.
1. It appears that yourf concern is his anger only since as per you he is a better person when he is not angry.
2. There is no provision of law in India to contain the anger of a person.
3. However, if anybody's anger makes him loosing hisn sence and he acts violently, then the law has provision to punish him for his illegal act.
1) If you have to teach him a lesson then you can file case in UK as well for husband not cooperating to live with you, SO go for RCR as per hindu marriage act.
If you want to punish him for the said abusive acts you need to file the case under domestic voilence Act and 498 IPC. For alimony it will be family court, domestic voilence Act and 125 crpc. You need to first decide what you want exactly.
You dont accept the divorce that has been forced on you in UK through his strategies.
His gimmicks and the UK divorce are not legally valid in India if your marriage was solemnised in India.
You can drag him to a court in India by filing a RCR petition if he is filing a divorce petition in UK.
For physical abuse in UK, the laws are very strict in that country especially for the crimes against women.
You can very well lodge a complaint against him under the domestic violence act.
You can discuss with an attorney there in UK and proceed in that angle, especially for child abuse and custody case.
In my opinion, it will be hard to reconcile the differences between you both at this stage.
Your Indian sentimental values may not find any place in the UK laws.
Dont get emotionally attached or upset over the developments, you have to come out of the circle and face the reality and as much as possible you should raise to situation and give a tough fight back as per law.
Discuss with your lawyer and proceed on the advise received.
You hav been given proper legal advises, whereas you do not want to utilise the legal solutions.
Since he has adopted the legal strategy to bog you down, you dont have any other option than to fight it out legally unless you may not get the desired justice.
You have left nothing left in life with him since he is determined to throw you out of his life and to move one
Now you decide since the ball is in your court now.
If that is the case, why dont you try to arrange for a counselling session in which he can interact with the child as well as the counselor
If this option also do not work then it would be a pathetic situation to you if you do not want to adopt legal steps after this traumatic situation also.