Hi, My colleague Aki had a relationship with this guy Ankul for last 5 years . recently Aki felt to do a break-up with Ankul due to personal reasons. which includes : 1. Distance in relation ship 2. A lot of oral violence during phone call 3. Threat of suicide (she has mails and SMS) 4. Defaming her in front of others I gave her sympathy and took care of her during this period . We both felt having a good future, though we have not started the relationship. To make Ankul feel comfortable with the break up and to settle down things , Aki called him and told everything frankly . what was the issues and what she thinks for her future . Yesterday Ankul again started defaming her in a big manner. which includes calling me and her friends , telling a lot of stories and how characterless Aki is. I am not sure how these things can be handled . I think involving parents a good Idea. But Aki's father is heart patient . I also feel Parents of Aki will not take Ankul's word for true. But it will hamper her career and personal dignity. A sentence from Ankul was " I have used her, you can use her now" Do you feel girls in INDIA are things to be used and pass on. Please let me know how to proceed further. (Sorry for grammatical error )
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1. You have no right under the law to proceed against him. It is only the girl i.e who has been defamed who can set in motion the process of law against him.
2. The girl can file a criminal case for defamation against the man and also apply for a restraint order to restrain him from defaming her further.
All these problems have solutions in law. Your friend first has to warn her discarded boy friend about his damaging statement defaming her name and reputation and also her modesty and instruct him to stop such humiliations against her immediately or else he may have to face the legal consequences. If he is not correcting himself or stopping his blatant remarks on her or avoiding to spread false rumors about her, she may gather some evidences of this act of his and should first lodge a police complaint against him either in the local police station and if she is afraid that he may escape by influencing the local police, she should simultaneously or directly lodge a complaint with the District top police for the offences of humiliations, outraging her modesty by spreading false rumors and for damaging her name in the society with false allegations by assassinating her character which if not checked may lead her to decide about suicide hence he abets to suicide. She can give a simllarcomplat with the State commission for Women welfare also. This will make him alright. Nobody is above law, he cannot escape the music of law by continuously indulging in such crimes against innocent women.
1. What is your problem actually and what do you want?
2. Since as of now there is no legal implication of Ankul's actions on Aki, it is suggested that no communication is established by Aki with Ankul. Leave the parents alone,
3.Do not proceed in any way as regards the matters with Ankul is concerned.
@T Kalaiselvan - Thank you sir @Krishna Kishore Ganguly - Sir I just want a solution to this problem , which is no more threat from Ankul towards Aki , no more harassment , no more bad publicity among friends . @Ashish Davessar - Thanks you sir I fear 3 things : 1. Ankul may try to do suicide or false suicide, He had previously threatened 2. Ankul may try to meet her personally, which can lead to physical violence 3. Ankul's thinks me as an enemy(as I am the cause of the separation) , he may try to disturb me or do some physical violence He called me once , offended me and Aki . i also offended him . Ex: When he told me my salary is equivalent to his black income (as a JEE) , I offended him saying " Then why your parents asking for Dowry, you don't gave them proper money"
1. Ankul may try to do suicide or false suicide, He had previously threatened
Even he commits suicide hell will not fall on your head. Just dont be bothered about his such frolics. Ignore and kep distance.
2. Ankul may try to meet her personally, which can lead to physical violence
As herto avoid meeting him or to be cautious when he still forces his entry into her place by immediately gathering public or friend at that place to make him understand that she is no more alone in the world.
3. Ankul's thinks me as an enemy(as I am the cause of the separation) , he may try to disturb me or do some physical violence
If you apprehend such a situation, you may also be cautious about it in the manner you may choose to defend you.
When he told me my salary is equivalent to his black income (as a JEE) , I offended him saying " Then why your parents asking for Dowry, you don't gave them proper money"
Next time onwards do not respond to his cheap attitude.
1. The symptoms are commonly found in break ups of longstanding relationships where one side refuses to face the reality. In such cases disconnection of all communications is the best shield from any future wild act of the other side. If probability of Ankul's committing suicide is considered to be very high, then let Aki and/r you record all the conversations of Ankul which can later on prove that Ankul failed to accept the break up and no body can be blamed for his suicide,
2. As suggested in my earlier post Aki should disconnect herself completely with Ankul leave apart meeting him personally,
3. If he has threatened you or Aki at anytime, lodge a police complaint against him. Avoid all sorts of exchange of invectives which may cause unnecessary trouble to you. There is no panacea available which can make Ankul accept the break up and stop reacting emotionally. He should be allowed time to get over the shock for which there should be total no communication from Aki to him.