• Wife not allowing me to sell my flat

I married in year 2002.  Will complete 15 years in July this year.  I have 2 sons one aged 7 and one 13.

I have gone through many up and downs post marriage like no earning(Jobless), Lost money in stock trading, Lost money in Business(s) but during all the bad times I never let my wife and kids suffer even a single day for money or anything.

I always paid their expenses in full as well as for additional requirements (outing, trips etc).

I have a very good job in Hyderabad and earning enough to lead a happy life.

I worked in UK as well for 9 years and obtained Citizenship for all 4 of us.

I bought a flat for my Parents when I was in UK and paid the EMI from my earnings over there which was always the point of argument between myself and my wife.  She wanted to have a house back in UK on my salary there and that really upset my wife.   She never missed a chance to taunt about my family.  I am short temper and always reacted on her taunts but I never hurt her.  In fact she slapped me few times for no strong reasons.

I lost all my savings and earnings in stock market in UK and was under lot of debt within no time during the stock market crash in 2009.  I always accepted that it was my fault investing in stock market. I was not in a position to clear my credit card bills in UK when I left it for India.

I tried multiple business here in India but failed miserably.  Luckily I got a job as a Project Manager with good pay.

We used to stay at my parents flat due to finalcial situation but within no time clashes started between my wife and parents/brother's wives.  I had to move out to rented flat.  My wife wanted to buy and flat at any cost.  She started misbehaving with my family and myself.

Due to my short temper nature I alwasy over reacted to her misbehaving and ended up in breaking things in house (tv, chairs etc).

Due to stress and force we bought a flat for which my wife paid 21 lakhs (into my bank account) which I paid as advance to the flat owner from my bank account.

There is nowhere written that she paid me to buy the flat.  Most of that 21 lakhs was the savings she has done when we were in UK.  She used to work there as a teacher and at some store.

I took out 48 lakhs in loan from Bank for which I am paying EMI of around 50000 from last 4 years.  Recently due to some clashes between us she asked me to pay back her 21 lakhs or give her the flat.  My outstanding loan is still around 47 lakhs as the majority of the EMI got deducted as interest on loan.

I explained that she can get the flat only when the EMI/outstanding loan amount is cleared, but she constantly forced me to pay back her money or give her the authority of property, Later on continuous argument now she demands entire property on her name.

As I have lot of things going on at workplace as well apart from daily torture of my wife I suggested that we will sell the flat and take the money which I owe you, source of money can be your father as he was ready to buy.

Due to daily torture I suggested her that I will pay 20 lakhs to my loan account and asked her to get the remaining money from her father to clear the bank loan and take the flat.  I do not mind if it is on your name or your fathers name.  Just take it.  

They came back asking for 25 lakhs from me and the rest will be paid by them and take the flat.  I was ok with that.  I took loan from my brother of 14 lakhs and paid it in the loan account. But to sudden demonitisation and loss in family business my brother couldn't afford to get more 10 lakhs for me.  I told my wife and his parents that It will take some time for me to pay off the remaning amount.

They agreed to it at that time but she continued torturing myself and my family calling us thieves and many other things.  Her Father always supported her in all these idiotic behaviour.

He always put the misunderstandings in my wifes brains about my family and myself.

Many times I shouted on her in the nights when I was drunk.  This was again the reaction to all the taunts she passed during my day at work.  She and her dad planned and recorded my shouting videos in which she did not utter a word.  These videos were shown to people saying I do that everyday without mentioning the reason behind it.

She kept on messaging me on whatsapp saying that I gave her and my kids life like street dogs.  And reading through those messages for about 50 times I replied that lets die if you think your life is really like that.  I said I will kill her and kill myself.  That was just the immediate reaction to their well planned messages.

She took those messages and raised a harrasment and threating to kill her report with Police against me.  I drank and sweared at her like anything that night.  I couldn't digest that she went to police and myself and my father had to go to police station for the same.

After a day of that her father and uncle came to my house and said that going to police station was not good and they apologised to us and said they will speak to my wife and make her understand the things and send her back to my house in 20-30 days.

But after a week her father called me and said that she is not going to come back to my house again.  They took my kids as well and not allowing me to meet them as well.

This happened in December end and it is almost 3.5 months now.  I only met my kids once during this time.  I miss them so much that I decided to end myself many times but I can't due to my Mom. 

They were still chasing for the money and flat for which I told them to clear my bank loan of 33 lakhs and take the flat.  Or I will sell the flat and pay off their 21 lakhs.

I asked them to pay the money without any documentation so they can't harrass me again in future.  But they are not agreeing to it and said they will give the money in writing that my wife owes here dad.  So here dad wil give it to her daughter and she will give it to me. And in case we are together again I will harrased again.

To clear all his mess I decided to sell my flat which costs around 84 lakhs.  I decided to pay my wife 25 lakhs, 33 lakhs in loan, 6 lakhs to clear my other debt and 20 lakhs to my kids for their future education.

I stuck the deal as well one of the buyer but before the deal was executed my father in law has put a Caution Notice in the paper that my wife has paid substantial amount while buying this flat and I cannot deal with the 3rd parites to sell the flat.

Flat is on my name and my wife's name not there in the title.  I only paid the emi from last 4 years.

I am also paying 20000 rs per month to my wife for kids expenses.

They also put my kids into expensive schools near their place which I cant afford. They did not even ask me before admitting them.

Below are my expenses breakdown during our time together

Salary - 100000
EMI - 50000
Wife - 40000 for food and other expenses 
Electricity Bill - 1500 - paid by me
School Fees - 8000 -  paid by me

As you can see I was in negative every month and I used my credit cards for my expenses (fuel, shopping etc). 

I still love my wife and kids more than anything but she is under influence her father and do not even trying to understand anything.


Questions

1. How can they claim that they have share/poverty in my flat and I can't sell it.  Can they stop me?
2. I do not want to divorce her incase she raised a divorce order.  I will die but won't sign. Can they take it forcefully?
3. I want to file a reverse case on their advocate who put up the notice in the paper if he can't come up with legal paperwork, Is it possible ? As this notice has really spoiled our family name.
4. She is earning not sure how much as a Yoga teacher.  Can she still claim expenses?
5. They are not allowing me to meet my kids/speak to them over phone. Do I still have to pay their expenses?
6. What is the probability that they can claim anything against me/My property/My Salary apart from 21 lakhs?
7. What are the claims I can do to meet my kids/speak to them legally