I have a husband who is very much clinging to his real brothers/cousins and this has caused too much tension in our household and his being abusive to me. We have a joint bank account and my husband had added his cousin brother's name to it in 2000. We had purchased a flat then and it was the reason why this cousin's name was added so that it would be easier for him to approach and pay the builder on our behalf. Now in 2016 I was fed up of his name in our account as the flat that we had purchased had been used and also sold off meanwhile by us. I told my husband why are we still having his name in our account it should been taken off 10 years back at least. I myself have no knowledge about his bank accounts let alone my name being added to any of them. My husband was so angry when I asked him to remove his cousin's name that he slapped me. It seems if the cousin went to builder on our behalf then it is our lifelong commitment to keep his name on our account. The only saving grace was this cousin never operated our account apart from paying for our flat.
My husband has this habit of not forgiving and withholding grudges and abusing me. I have an unused apartment in the city which he uses as his office. He regularly raises his voice there while talking to me and says very insulting things so that my neighbours who have been knowing me for years can hear. He has insulted me so often in restaurants and good hotels that I have just left and walked away from that place. He loves to insult me when there are people around. He was born in poor family and he thinks if he is doing good things for me he should first be doing it for his own birth family or something like that. I have no parents or brothers and sisters. My sole blood relative is my maternal uncle who earlier tried to remain indifferent from my situation but now feels it was wrong and tries to support me morally.
My husband believes in giving work to his brother whether his garage is capable of repairing our car or not. His brothers never do a free thing for us and my husband says it his is profession and so he must be paid. I agree with that but why should we pay when the work is not done properly and when we have to give something no matter how expensive we always give them things free.
This month i wrote down the expenses incurred and I found that the money given by my husband was over and I was running the house on my money. I had sold another apartment that i had and invested well and was running my house on that interest. When i showed this to my husband he was not interested. He is like it your house and you are using your money to run it, so what big deal...But if the house is mine I cannot withdraw his cousin's name from our bank account ? Then was it not my house ? My husband has a terrible temper and he has threatened and hit me a few times. I find it difficult to live this way as no one from his family to can intervene and help him calm down.
My husband has always taken care that I do not hang around with women in his family. There was always this isolation because his mother found it very threatening. Tell me what can be done in such cases ....Thank you for your time and advice in advance