My husband and me were staying away from my in laws immediately after marriage. My husband is of a nature that he restricts me with various things like dressing, talking to friends, going out, etc. I accepted on most of his restrictions and things were pretty ok for first 6-8 months. However I started feeling suffocating with the increasing restrictions from him even on silliest thing. We often had arguments on these things and during these arguments he would get into physical violence like pushing me. With his increased physical violence I went to my parents home for 20 days. Since I wanted to save the relation I approached the counselor to help with our differences. Unfortunately, I couldn't pick an appropriate counselor. She couldn't really guide through properly, however we implemented some of her relationship management tips for few days, but things became worse even after that. He gave up on talking to me, eating food made by me. He also asked me to pay flat rent during this time. Then to keep myself calm and busy I joined singing class which was mutually agreed in front of the counselor. After 2 smooth week my husband asked me to quit the class and asked me to select either my hobbies or him. He clearly mentioned that I should not go out of house for any such purpose like hobbies. As I couldn't tolerate his this statement I refused to quit singing. He called my parents and while my dad tried to explain him my point of view and asked him to calmly sit and discuss through he refused and in the arguments mentioned that if wont stay with him as per his expectation, then he wants a divorce. With this argument I left that house and currently staying with my parents. Somewhere between all this, once my in laws asked 5L rs from my husband which I refused when he discussed with me. I am now able to connect the dots that things spoiled more after that refusal. He got more inclined towards his family after that, he kept on comparing my food preparation with his mothers, talked about missing his parents, kept on comparing my visits to my parents with his family etc. first time when I had come home for 20days, my MIL constantly insisted that we should come back to kalyan an stay there with them. Since then my husband also kept on saying that. When he asked me to pay the rent, he clearly mentioned me that if I don't pay the rent, he would windup and go to kalyan. I strongly feel his mother and sis are influencing him for money etc against me. His sis is separated and stays with my in laws.
However, I want to save this relationship by putting certain conditions to avoid his family influence, restrictions and financial insecurity. Kindly advice how should I go about?