I am a 42 year old Govt servant. I have been married for past 18 years and have a child 15 years old.
When I got married through negotiation, my inlaws had told my family that my bride was doing her graduation. Immediately prior to my marriage I was told that she had passed her class 12 and would do her graduation post marriage. I have a transferrable job and my would be father in law too was in the same branch. So how they presumed that my wife could complete her graduation living with me was beyond me. But since I come from a family of educated people we took a decision that she would stay back with my parents to complete her graduation. However she displayed complete disregard to any further studies.
After approximately year and half of marriage my wife suffered a miscarriage and to our horror we discovered that she was a Thalasaemia (minor) patient. When my child was born we found that it was also Thalasaemic (trait).
Naturally during the course of married life there have been instances of domestic arguements between my wife and me when the issue of her Thalasaemia came up. I have felt that their family knew and hid the fact that she had a blood related ailment as her mother too had repeated bouts of so called Aememia ( an important symptom of thalasaemia) and my wife during childhood too was anaemic and weak.(Many years after my marriage I did convince my mother in law to take the Thalasaemia test. I am aware that the results were positive although they never accepted it publicly, and lately even my brother in law has tested for it and most probably found himself positive since he has suddenly changed his decision to marry).
As a result of this issue, my wife has taken an unilateral decision of not having a second child, something which I desperately wanted because I myself am an only child and am aware of the problems associated with lack of siblings. But my wife has extremely obstinately disagreed to having a second child and this topic has been closed to any discussion for many years.
My wife and I do not have any sort of physical relation for the past 10 years. In the past 12 years the number of instances of physical intimacy between my wife and myself has been 3/4. She has been denying me any physical contact. Maybe this is in fear of a second pregnancy, I dont know. But I deeply dissent to her attitude and in the past few years have emotionally not felt the emotional warmth of physical closeness.
My wife is DEEPLY attached to her family, her parents, her brother and her sister and her sisters family. She has declared that to her her child came first, followed by her family and then me, a fact deeply detested by me obviously.I deeply detest her sister who has a very bad influence on her and of late has been poisoning the mind of my child too, instigating my child to concentrate on bands, singing etc at the expense of studies.
My wife deeply detests my mother who she blames for all her unhappiness (she has none I am assured, she has alife people are generally jealous of as the wife of a senior Govt Officer with a lot of associated priviledges and prestige without really being deserving for the same and at times not being able to carry the associated responsibilities that come along with privileges because of her lack of formal education). However ever since my father passed away and my mother has come to stay with me, my wifes antagonism and associated atrocities towards my mother have grown to astronomical proportions. Her actions are very subtle without overt expression but more so in non cooperation, ignoring, making my mother feel unwanted in my home etc.
The situation reached a peak recently during an arguement when she attacked me and when I defended myself got hurt herself. Thereafter she had walked out of my house for 14 days to her sisters home at Pune and also expressed her desire for a divorce. She has since returned but her atitude has been that of utter antagonism more for my mother than me and defiance.
I am now decided that my marriage which was already over many years ago ( we had decided to part ways mutually after my child completed class 12) is irrevocably over. I want to get a mutual divorce which I will get. But I am afraid that my father in law who is a very financially compromised and greedy person ( he is involved in a court case for the claim of his ancestral home which I am aware is based on a forged will which he has got made. I know this because my father in law had showed the original will to my father and asked him for help to get a forged amended will where instead of his sisters he would be shown as the sole beneficiary. My father had denied him help but had narrated the incident to my mother and me once). I am afraid that being a Govt servant maintenance will be automatically be granted to my wife @ 30% which is what my father in law is looking for to fleece my wife.He knows I am vulnerable professionally as a divorcee as my organisation frowns upon such cases.
I am willing to pay her reasonable maintenance but not 30%