Harassment by Wife - threatening to use 498a
Please save Me and My Mother, we will not live for long because of mental harrasment by this girl and family. Please read, it is huge.
I got married in Jan 2015. This was fixed via a marriage booklet proposal. My mother initiated call just like for any other family / girl. I had to have horoscope matched and was not getting matched to any girl, but it got matched to this one and somehow my mom followed-up with them. They took 3 months time and found out EBERYTHING about me and my family right from residence area, My father's relations (He has already passed away), My workplace and then they decided that girl should meet my family. In the meantime girl already was meeting with me and started to build relationship on the grounds that her famliy members were impressed meeting me and that marriage is almost fixed but due to unavoidable circumstances father is not able to arrange formal meeting.
The girl in the meantime regularly did tell me about a lot of bad things happening at her hostel, she stayed for 4 years in hostels, but slways sweared to her father that she was clear of everything and i TRUSTED her.
I confirmed with her that if she has affair and wants to marry other person, I dont want to marry a girl who is under pressure from family to which she said no there is nothing in today's date however mentioned a couple guy's names she introuduced as BROTHER's from far relative.
Several times she and her brother, and sister disrespected me but she always said that she is brutalised at her place and brother and sister are ANTI her and that is why they want to break the engagement so they disrespect you, so please ignore. I did that.
She tols me all the bad things about her family that people are all against her and I am the only resort, so I ignored the wrong doings of all her family members and moved forward.
Once it so happened that she really did bad and humiliate me, to which we had a heated argument and we were at the verge of breaking engagement. I however, thought it is not good and for both families and should compromise. I extended the hand forward and its been 6 months of marriage and she constantly humiliates me saying I didn't want to marry you you were the one who came to me, MERE PAS HAATH JOD KE AAYE THE????????????????
I thought and My mom told this is all short lived and once the girl marries a lot changes and she has different feelings of respect and love for the husband and rest of family. I continued and we somehow got married.
FYI, i floated idea of court marriage numerous times so that none of the parties involved have to take unnecessary financial burden. NEVER EVER ASKED FOR DOWRY.
THE REAL BAD THING STARTS
1. After 2-3 days of marriage I saw her browsing facebook profile of one of her college crushes which she denied was nothing more. I ignored and moved on. after a couple days I took her mobile to see our honeymoon pictures and the title photo on her album was of her old "CRUSH" I doubt it was much more. I talked to her and said that this would not be a healthy way to proceed with new relation we were about to start. I asked her to please stop any contact with that boy and requested to remove him from friend lists across facebook whatsapp etc.
SHE has not done that till date 09/17/2015 and has very heavily retaliated to not do so. I have had word with her father to check if my request is not Genuine, he agreed to have the communiocation with boy stop.
DISCLAIMER: I would not like my wife to be in touch with someone who she says was attracted to and used to go out in car with and the boy said "TUMHE KISS KIYE BINA GAYA TO TAUHEEN HO JAYEGI", she shared that with me some time after engagement.
2. She always beats me, not like a friendly pinch by wife, she MOLESTS me hitting my back with elbow, Hitting my ANUS ending with her knee, She has been punching my PENIS as if trying to make me impotent, I always ignored thinking she does not know the intensity of hurt she is causing.
3. She disrespects me in the bedroom calling me pshyco, mental KUTTA, GHATIYA, MAADAR**. BHEN**, I contained it for a couple months and then she started doing this in front of my mother, then she did it in a hotel room where me , my mom and her were staying as I moved to different city for job change and company provided accomodation.
She continued this in the parking of my flat, and then when I took her shopping in a mall she did speak ABUSIVE words in the parking lot with 1000 of people.
4. Right from day 1 she says, my sister is a lawyer, I would get you arrested in the dowry - case and put so many allegations you wont be able to get out. I thought she was joking.
The the movie came Dawat-e-Ishq, and she insisted that I watch with her and said that this is what I am going to do with you. I again thought of as a joke and let go.
5. She humiliating me is kind of a daily routine. I used to have not very busy office, go to office at 9 come back at 8 had dinner and then plenty of time for the new wife. She would keep on fighting to get new jewellery. I explained that there have been lot of expenses in marriage and all my saving drained. I would get her things that expensive but in a couple months and she used to beat me and abuse me. She calls me NIKHATTU, NIKAMMA, HARAMKHOR, KUTTA and then neither sleeps for the night nor does let me sleep. Once I was immensely tired and had a brief nap from 5:30 in the morning to about 6 I guess, to which she said that , I keep on sitting here all night and you take your sleep. Just to let you know, in 6 months it has been only once that I took that nap, and I go to office but she takes her sleep during the day. Nowhere counts me working as anything important. She is not into any job and mine is a small family, no work needs to be done, there are maids for everything at my home, except cooking.
6. She once told about a boy, there were talks of her getting married , but then said that her Father and herself denied because he was a neighbor in their village. She also told that he was a family friend and once went on a trip with them and he put ice in her BLOUSE to which she shouted that she did not like. This is background. Now what she did.
I got transferred to different city and after that my mom and wife came back to home place to get the home shifted using packers, I did not accompany them. She, in the night about 11 called him or he called was describing how she disrespected me in front of my mom and was enjoying and laughing with him. She talked to him for good 45 min. She said sala mera case to bigad gaya, mera pati to bahut smajhdar shana kawwa hai, sala me to yeda banke peda bhi nahi kha sakti. My mom by chance noticed her talking delightfully, and SHE has NEVER talked to me that way…. She was furious at me on other thing that is to follow. So somehow my mom asked her casually in the morning who was she talking to, she said my sister, mom suspected and asked who was it, she said I was in conference with my brother, my mom not convinced again asked, and she said it was her MAUSI’s Son. Told name Mr. XYZ. My mom explained her that it is not good for relation and she should not do that way, she agreed and said not to have the name told to her father or me. My mom did not tell me till today.
7. I joined the new office and as a corporate culture teammates wanted to see movie with me on Friday. Team outing. My wife and mom were not in the city and I went to watch movie. I came back in the evening and on call told her, and she again started disrespecting me and fighting why did I go to watch movie. I was staying at my friend’s place and could not answer her.
She does this always.
8. At the new company my schedule is I wake up at 6 for cab in morning and am busy whole day and come back at 7 in the evening and have meetings till 11-12 in the night. Still I tried to give her time after that. She would keep on fighting for money and jewellery and going back to her father’s place. She has been to her father’s place 5 times in 6 months for periods varying 7-20 days. Forces me to pick her up everytime. I am a salaried person cannot afford a lot of leaves, and at new job not possible. To which she says. Everyone in the world does job you are not alone.??????????? I am 18 hrs duty what she wants from me, it will take some time to smooth.
9. every day she says I will commit suicide and my father will allege you. She has threatened to jump from 5th floor, threatened to drink Phenyl, threatened to touch electric buttons and get shocked.
10. The last time she humiliated me was in a parking of mall and saying words lik MAA*****CHU****, I was emabarrased as people were looking at me. I wore a helmet for 2-3 hours whle she was making situation bad for me. I am an IT person and there could be anyone, she said there is no one who knows you. Let people watch. To which I requested to go home and talk, and she denied saying me to go by my own and she will F**K HER up I should not care.
11. Multipe times she said me is ghatiya aadmi ke saath nahi reh sakti. She did the same in parking and said this is it, I am not going to stay with you.
12. We were scheduled to already send her home for festival and made arrangements for the same. 5 days prior to this she did all this. My mom informed her father and asked to take action immediately. Noone from his house came to check situation and I took her to the homeplace as per previous plan.
Now they are alleging that I was forcing the girl out of the house. I did not give her food. I have been doing this for 7 months. Now If I was so bad why sis they not come the next day to rescue their girl?
13. She always hits me in the center of legs and says teko to namardi ke case me fasaungi.
Now her father, lawyer sister, brother are calling and disrespecting my mother, and harassing that we will put 498a case on you. I and my mom are terribly unwell because of this. I am taking my mom to hospital twice a day, because this behaviour has costed variation in her BP. I am very tensed and want to get rid of this situation. Please help.
I WILL DIE