My income & expenditure details

Namaste, Meri marriage ko 17 yrs. Ho gye. Main before marriage hi job Karti thi aur 2003 mein MERI Shadi ho gyi. I belongs to a very simple family , when I got married , I was just 20-21 yrs. In laws mein Meri pehli salary se hi mere husband around 4-5 years tak MERI salary mere FIL ki dilwate the. Kush salon mein jab salaries bank account mein aane lgi..to unko cash Milan band ho gya. FIL ne ye bol jr ki main paise nhi rakhta...kush paise mujhe wapis Debe ke naam pr Apne hi bete ( husband) ki FD Karwa Di. Mujhe mere hi paise direct nhi diye. JB salary account mein dalne lgi to dheere dheere mere husband ke through mujh par Ghar ke each and every casual expenditure dalne lage. Main kagbhag har maheene pay Karti thi. Mere do bachhe Hain. Beti in tenth and son is in eighths. Unke school ke sabji kharache lagbhag meri hi tension ban gye. Maine unki zaroorton ko hamesha Pura Kiya...but Kisi se jyada kush manga nhi. Ere in laws be Kabhi apni bahu pr koi kharach nhi kiya. Jo Yaad rakhne wala ho. ye log lalchi Hain aur mujhe Ghar ke kharchon ke liye hi Apne sath rakhte rahe. mujhe samajh to aa gya tha ki selfish Hain but Lagta tha ki mere husband ki to pta hai ki main unka Kitna financially sath deti huin. Lekin wo BHI galatfehmi thi...kyonki jai Baar parents ke kehne pr mujhe bol dete ki tune itne Saal Kiya kya? Bahut roti thi. MERI Sadat nhi thi ki main Apne parents ko jyada tang karuin . Socha Sab theek ho jayega. Lekin 17 Saal ho gye...in logon mein Maine satisfaction nhi dekhi. Maine beech mein Apne Bhai ko BHI financially help Kiya tha. jab inko pta laga to mujhe Bura bolne lag gye including husband jabki inki sister ko , inko to Maine shuru se support kiya. Pishle two years se mere husband ki koi job nhi Hai. Uske babzood BHI main unko Bina kush bole.khud Sara burden utha Rahi thi. Difference ye as gya tha ki ab main harrass Hoti thi to unko bol deti thi. JB thoda peeche Hari.to cheejein suddenly worst si ho gyin.. I struggled a lot. I am double MA b.ed. main Shadi ke baad BHI padhti Rahi. Mere bachhe ICSE board se 95 above scorer Hain starting se , wo BHI without any extra tution. Ab main nirash huin...life se...bcz mujhe inme apna Kabhi koi dikha hi nhi. Parents ko blame karte hain. Lockdown mein internet Ka bill nhi Diya to connection cut Kar Diya. Bahut muushkil se bachhon ki online study Ka arrange Kiya. Main us Tarah ki insaan huin Jo Karke Kabhi jatati nhi. Lekin ab aaj ki date mein ek hi Ghar mein rehne he bbajood mere husband Apne parents ke sath gain...main Apne bachhe aur job akeli Dekh Rahi huin.mujhe Janna Hai ki main Jo Karti thi MERI personal choice thi. Lekin kya MERI earning pr apna haq Rakh sakte hain. Mujhse hissaab mangte Hain. Kya ye unka right Hai. Main chahti huin cheejein sort ho jayein...but ab main in laws ke expenditures nhi Kar sKti. Mera bharosa khatam Hai. But husband apni responsibilities BHI nhi nibha rahe. Main preshaan huin. Unko to nhi but Kisi gareeb ladki ko bachhe ko padha dungi....