Boy is breaking the marriage after enagagement
I am writing this in on behalf of my sister whose marriage is nearly on the end.
We are from a nuclear family with a very big family circle. braking a marriage is a very big thing to deal with in our caste. I am not understanding how to handle this situation.
The boy and his family were approaching us since many months through one of our relatives. We denied for many days as we were not very much interested to go on for this. But finally in this year we meet him first in Pune and he seems to be an OK guy. We conveyed the same to our parents and the relatives. Then after two months the boys family approached us and we went for a formal family girl showing program in mid weekend of march and the two families met in this and discussed all what was required. After two days, they gave a call to the mediator and confirmed they like the girl and we can proceed further if girl and her family are ready. We were also ready hence we planned to visit their place and discuss for the further proceeding of marriage and engagement. It was Saturday, we decided to make a final go and we will fix the marriage by giving a "Naral Pan" to the boy as per our Caste and Cultural rules. But they denied to take and were asking for an engagement, rather discussion and convincing them for more than 2 hours they denied of taking "Naral pan" and were asking for Engagement. We told them we are having a very big family and it is very short time for us to go further with this. We planned to do a good program as we have a single sister and a only one loving daughter to my parents. They had a very big dream for her marriage. But unfortunately we and our family members in the meeting finalized the Engagement on the next day that was Sunday.
The Engagement took place on Sunday afternoon and all was going fine. The marriage date was fixed in December due to kundli and all. And we booked hall and many other arrangements are done till date.
Now the boy is denying for marriage for some reasons like.
1. You are younger than me, so you should listen to what I say, you should respect me by not cross questioning.?
2. If you are wearing a dress and I feel uncomfortable you have to change it?
3. If you are going with your (girl or boy) friend somewhere you have to first bring her/him to me for meeting, I will meet them, then i will tell you to go or not.?
4. You should call me and my family daily to ask them how they are and bla, bla, bla.?
5. You cant go to Mumbai or any place, you cant party, you cant roam anywhere, you cant do this that and all.
6. He said we cant keep a made(no kaam wali bai) at our home, we have to do all things by our hand.
7. Facebook: you cant chat with more people.
8. you should be at home from work early.
When my sister opposes to listen to this and made him understand this is not the way he is saying you dont need to teach me, our family runs like this only. You have to listen to this anyhow.
What do you feel a girl in the 21st century whose working in a MNC, with having post graduation and is self motivated should listen to this. I need a comment on this.
Also during his first meeting he said, I don't feel girls and boys should separated, they have equal rights to live in the society, i don't make a difference in girls and boys, changing the statements continuously. He said he knows cooking and its again a lie now saying I cant even make a tea. Many such facts and all he is revealing one by one.
Is this the contract he wants to sign before marriage.??
One more incident I missed, as the engagement was a small event, he accepted if he get time for a formal engagement, as we insisted them for our relatives, he said we will see. Now he was saying that the engagement you are doing as a showoff, and its not required. So my sister said y to do a marriage with a showoff, so he said you dnt know how to speak, and you are rude.
All this happened for 3 4 months and now he finally decides without any discussion that he dont want to marry my sister and this relation ship is over now.
The reasons he gave is, Girl is having zero family values with lot of expectations in her life.
She cant live in restrictions and She cant be happy in this relation.
He is not even ready to discuss with me, neither my sister to resolve this matter saying I have informed my parents and now you inform yours and all is over.
Now all our family members are knowing this and in our caste our name will be totally spoiled if he denies for this marriage and it will be next to difficult for my sister to get another marriage. Its a very embracing situation for us.
We will try to resolve this matter but if nothing works and we want to legally take any action over to this, can we do anything to make him understand Girl is not a person on road to behave as he wants to and spoil her and all our lives without even discussing.
Please suggest me with the best I can do.